Meeting the Devil and Ordeal XV

 

This is part 3 of a three part article that is the introduction to Magical Shadow Work and Ordeal XV. I will be writing a book about this ordeal in the future. Here is the basic understanding to this masterful challenge that all adepts must face in their magical and spiritual career. 

I have proposed that the Devil is the master behind the process of transformative initiation, representing the role of the Dark Father to whom the initiate must find resolution in order for the initiation process to be completed. The Devil is also likely to be found as a sentinel at the cross-roads gateway into the underworld and also the gate-keeper for the return threshold. This should not be surprising to any traditionally initiated Witch, who engages with the Horned God and his agent, the Man in Black, during the dark rites of the underworld initiation. Therefore, in order for ritual magicians to achieve a greater transformative experience, they must ultimately open the gateway at their own cross-roads moment and face their own Devil as both the archetypal nemesis and their own personal shadow. Without achieving the transformation and individuation associated with this greater ordeal, a ritual magician cannot claim to have achieved self-mastery, which is the precursor for gaining a more permanent state of enlightenment. 

Therefore, I have developed an ordeal to achieve and master this encounter with the Devil, and I have called it Ordeal XV. My use of the Roman numerals XV is to connect this ordeal with the Tarot trump card the Devil XV. What is depicted in that card is very much what I believe is a necessary part of the initiate adept’s pathway. It is similar, in a lesser fashion, to crossing the Greater Abyss, and it is very much required before the magician would seek that greater transition from initiate adept to master adept, and the revelation of the first rung of the supernal triad of the Tree of Life. So, after all the lesser ordeals have been mastered and the initiate adept has gained total confidence in all things magical, they must then evoke the Devil himself, and gain self-mastery and through it achieve individuation.

I am proposing this ordeal not because I believe that it is important, which it is, but because I myself have walked this path and intimately know its importance first hand. I have summoned versions of these devils and I have endured this kind of ordeal many years ago. When I performed it, it was not a complete and structured ritual process. It was multiple workings performed at different times, evoking multiple devils, and I performed them in segments all during the early to middle 1980's when I was in a kind of emotional and spiritual turmoil. What I am proposing now is the completed formulation of this ordeal, which is something that I did not possess all those years ago. 

I believe that even the purest white-light magician must at some point deal with their darker attributes before they can gain a mastery of magic and self-mastery. It takes a lot of fortitude and courage to perform these evocations, particularly if one is too biased and aligned to the light. Yet for those who periodically dip their wings into the shadows, such as myself, it becomes an obvious stage in the road to enlightenment and illumination. Yet there is a reason for evoking the Devil, and in fact, the Ordeal calls for evoking no less than four of them.

Some writers have proposed in their books on Shadow Work that the shadow has two parts, one constructive and the other malignant. I would like to think of the shadow as being a single entity. Yet because even people with their outer persona and internal ego represent an illusory concept of unity, it could be said that the shadow is a loosely unified body that consists of many parts and faces, similar to our own unconscious psyche. When examining the beingness of the Devil we discover that this entity actually consists of many parts or fragments, and they are the reason for the concept of the legions of demons. There are many orders or denominations of demons, and their number is practically infinite, similar to the number of orders and members of angels. Thus, when encountering a devil or a demon it is important to get its name and association, which is actually appropriate when dealing with any kind of spirits.

Since there are many ways to organize or group demons or to select individuals to function as some kind of group or hierarchical structure, I have decided to use the classical methodology of the four elements. Thus, to select four devils or arch-demons in a group and present them in a specific magical ordeal as four preeminent challenges for adepts to meet and through them, achieve a greater personal resolution. 

My choice of four arch-demons has a precedence in the archaic grouping of demons as being ruled by four demon kings; but other hierarchies of three or seven are more common. I have also departed from the traditional orientation and naming of my elected demons for these four elements. This is because I believe the most important grouping of four attributes are the four Gnostic Churches of the Tetrasacramentary. Since these four Gnostic churches represent the foundation for all my liturgical and magical workings starting at the point of adepthood (5th degree), then the four demon princes that I would choose to evoke in succession would be grouped according to these four churches.

I would group these four arch-demons within my four Gnostic churches in the following manner, using both ancient demon names and even one very modern one. I refer to these four arch-demons as the Involution Avatars, since the role that they play is to impact the initiate with the inverted gnostic attributes of the church or ecclesia with which they are associated, and this negative power and vision would trigger their shadow in a very profound manner. I would propose that the initiate perform the evocations of these four Involution Avatars every dark or new moon for four consecutive months, beginning in the month of October, and on the fifth month, they would bring them together and fuse their spiritual intelligences into a unified being. By doing that they would receive full psychic and spiritual restitution for all of the ills, pain, hardship and life’s ordeals that they have experienced, and elevate their shadow so that it becomes like a shining guide, or the Atman or Bornless One. These evocations rites, when performed successfully five months in a row without any lapse will ultimately heal the duality of an individual’s persona and the shadow so that they will be one; but the ordeal itself would be excruciatingly difficult.

Here are how I would characterize these four Involution Avatars who stand in the underworld for each of the four Gnostic Ecclesia of Thelema, Thanatos, Agape, and Eros. And these powerful arch-demons are the masters of the underworld initiation associated with each church. Where I have placed more than one selection, the initiate adept can choose one whom they wish to evoke in their ordeal, or they can choose more than one. I would recommend a thorough and deep research on each chosen demon before beginning this work.

Thelema - Element of Air - Involution Avatar Aiwas/Aiwaz and also Ashtoreth. Aiwas is the reputed the author of Liber Vel Legis or the Thelemic “Book of the Law,” the sacred scriptures of Crowley’s version of Thelema. He was also the voice of the Eighth Aethyr in the Vision and the Voice. While some have said that Aiwas was Crowley’s Holy Guardian Angel, I believe that he truly functions as the demi-god of the OTO and is the spiritual intelligence behind the modern creed of Thelema. Ashtoreth is a demon Grand Duke who was originally the Goddess Astarte, but was demonized in the Jewish religious tradition. He is depicted as a black faced and heavily bearded man riding a black dragon brandishing a large venomous snake in his left hand. He is attributed to the Qliphoth of Jupiter (Fortune Reversed by Rebellion) and is the prince of accusers and prosecutors. Both Aiwas and Ashtoreth seem to fit the arbiters of rebellion and the overturning of the old order. Since Thelema is associated with the Will, it would seem that the its shadow image would be chaos instead of order, and the fomenting of an internalized insurrection, which is like a person engaged in fighting against themself.

Entering into the underworld of the Gnostic current of Thelema would be to experience the complete shattering of the self and the relentless interrogation of one’s purpose or “will” in life. Since we all have weak moments where our ambitions are either thwarted or momentarily lost in the struggle of life, these lapses are amplified and used to question and persecute us as to whether we have any direction or basic meaning to our lives whatsoever. When anyone is measured and judged by the laws and powers of Thelema in its negative and dark attribution, we are always found weak, purposeless, and without direction. It becomes a great challenge to overcome this persecution and to persevere through adversity. That we take our idealized ambition and directive and defend it against all rational logic and the limitations, obstructions and the inherent self-sabotage that are powerfully arrayed against us. To persevere against all odds, and to continue to steadfastly move forward while enduring misfortune, limitations, persecution, and social denigration, will resolve itself into a peaceful coexistence with the chaotic changes of life. It is where the Sword of the Will has been tested and found true.

Thanatos - Element of Water- Involution Avatar Azrael, Samael, and Satan. Azrael is the definitive Angel of Death, who rides a pale white horse and is readily depicted in the Tarot trump Death XIII. Samael is the poison or venom of God (El), and Satan is the rebellious angel who leads the angelic revolt, and who is characterized as the singular depiction of the Christian Devil. These various entities represent the inverse or underworld of the Gnostic current of Thanatos, who transform death into a fearful and malevolent being who mercilessly takes life by guile or by violent force. There is no peace associated with this transition, and there is no mitigation or forgiveness. There is only regret, unforgiven malefactions great and small, guilt and despair. This is wholly contrary to the ideals of Thanatos which seeks to prepare us for death while still alive, thereby giving us solace and hope. 

What the initiate adept must do is confront their own mortality with the idea that there are no second chances, forgiveness, or peace without facing and resolving the impermanence of all living things, and in fact, all material things. These arch-demons can be resolved into allies if the initiate adept can break their ties to ambition, desire and privilege, to be truly free from the unwarranted ties that bind us. Of the four chosen Involution Avatars, the one representing Thanatos challenges us at the very root of our existence and our purpose in life, and therefore, is the most severe and difficult to resolve.

The underworld of the Gnostic current of Thanatos is the unremitting grief, loss and oblivion of an untimely death. It is the hell of guilt, remorse, self-inflicted torments and endless pain, all dutifully unleashed upon one’s own being. Dante’s lurid depictions of the underworld describing his literary descent into Hell is the archetype of the dark underworld of Thanatos. There is no hope for forgiveness, salvation, justice, restitution, nor redemption from even the most minor wrongs committed; but only the utter and total stygian darkness of complete soul-less obliteration. Yet in this dark opressive world, the initiate adept must find a way to light a small candle of hope, which is that our own inner divinity, the God/dess Within, our Atman or Holy Guardian Angel will find a way to rekindle the light of life, even when the soul is oppressed with its ultimate termination. The ego and persona must die, but there is more to an individual human being than just their insular beingness and their narrow ego-tunnel. Through the power of surrender, of letting go, and embracing the light of the One, which is the non-dual source of all consciousness, the initiate adept can find their way through death to an awakening beyond light and life. To successfully overcome this challenge while still alive, through the relentless ordeal of the demon of death, the initiate adept learns to treasure life but to be always aware of the powers of darkness and death. It is a very sobering equilibrium.

Agape - Element of Fire - Involution Avatar Lucifer, Asmodeus or Prometheus. These entities are all associated with fire, so they are appropriate selections for the Involution Avatar of Agape, which is associated with the element of Fire. While the Gnostic current of Agape represents human sodality, the foundation of human culture, and the consent of the unified purpose of human life (the overall social contract), the underworld vision of Agape focuses on individual ambition and the unlawful exercise of selfish and ego-based activities. While these activities are performed by individuals who act against the status-quo, their unwitting gifts to humanity are both a boon and a curse. Lucifer, as the light bearer, falls from grace when he seeks to rebel against the tyranny of God, setting in motion the later human practice of defying the Gods, and also defying human convention and the basic expectations of a peaceful life. 

Social revolution often runs counter to the good of humanity in the short run, and it is typically resisted by those in authority. Asmodeus is the fire demon representing the desire to break conventions, seek retribution and vengeance or to engage in liaisons that are unlawful and unwanted. He is depicted as a physically beautiful man who uses guile and charisma to seduce men and women into actions that are against their basic interests. Leaders who act contrary to the social benefit of everyone can cause upheavals, destruction, social enmity and civil war. Vigilantes seek social justice, but they are just unwitting pawns of unsanctioned vengeance, yet they are lionized in stories, media, and myths as heroes. These kinds of social revolutions might be important, but they have a staggering cost. 

Likewise, Prometheus gave humanity the gift of fire and paid a steep price for that action, which went against the will of the Gods. However, while the gift may have promoted constructive uses of fire, but it also unleashed the negative uses of fire to harm others, whether by accident or by design. This event ultimately led to triggering the dark side of civilization, which is state sponsored warfare, the persecution of minorities, ethnic cleansing, and the unprovoked conquest of other peoples. These evils are still afflicting the postmodern world, but they could be identified as the backlash to the discovery of fire.

The underworld of Agape is the temptation of individuals to act against the will and the needs of the many for their own personal ambition. They are attacking the social contract that binds humanity together. This is somewhat like an Ayn Rand fictional plot, where the rugged and gifted individual disastrously rebels against the collective social status-quo and the prevailing sentiment of moral relativism and self-sacrifice. While the heroes of this theme are fighting for freedom and rational self-interest, they also cause destruction, injuries and fatalities, and social chaos. When individuals employ their will to overthrow the society in which they reside, then their actions must be accountable and measured against the common good. While Ayn Rand identified such individuals as revolutionary heroes, our complex society sees them rightfully as terrorists.

In this underworld scenario the initiate adept is tested to determine if their personal will and directive helps and promotes the social good in the short and long term, or whether their selfish interests will lead to harming others with no actual gain or social progression. This, then, is the nature of the test of individual human ambition, and anyone who seeks to make any changes to the world in which they live should be given this test in its most severe form, ensuring that they realize the cost of their actions and are made consciously accountable. Achieving clarity, selflessness, and affirmation about one’s personal directives and ambitions represents the process of passing through this important test.

Eros - Element of Earth - Involution Avatar Beelzebub, Belphegor or Pan Priapus. The Gnostic current of Eros is the ideal of Epithumia, the thirst for life, and the joyful realization of desire. While this current has a very progressive, constructive, and delightful representation of life’s essential experiences of procreation, birth, growth, and the blissful happiness and rejoicing of ecstatic release, it’s opposite is the perversion of desire, dissolution and extreme excess. It is debauchery without purpose, unbridled drunkenness, addled additions, and excesses towards the destruction and denial of life. It is the dark attribute of selfish desire and the cruel denial of consensuality, where power over others and their victimization is the principal ideation. 

The demons Beelzebub and Belphegor exemplify the qualities of gluttony, envy, and slothfulness, intemperance and orgiastic excess. Without a guiding principle of balance, simplicity and ethical engagement, Epithumia becomes the road to dissolution and death. For those who love life and engage in the pure expression of love, the pleasurable banquet of exquisite food, drink and exotic drugs enjoyed in the company of dear friends and lovers amid the esthetic panoply of nature, they must possess self-discipline and a strong sense of ethical behavior.  Sybarites of all persuasions must be self-disciplined and ethical otherwise they will fall into the cruel clutches of profligacy that will cause their ultimate death and leave the scarred victims of their perverse practices forever psychically damaged. Pan Priapus, as the personification of the mindless erect phallus is the god that exemplifies the complete lack of discipline and ethics that must be the regimen and rules of the true sybarite. 

Entering into the underworld of Eros is to enter a chaotic world of drunkenness and delirium that challenges anyone who would dare follow the path of life and its pleasures. Only the complete ascetic is immune, and few if any of us would meet that requirement. The initiate adept is fully assaulted with the darkest expression and definitions of their periods of vulnerability, when they succumbed to drink, drugs, or nonconsensual sexual aggression, or were sexually dominated themselves by another. These fearful memories are given a powerful life as the initiate adept must deal with their own guilty conscience in personal acts that were dissolute and dishonorable. Here everyone is a victim, and everyone is condemned to the darkness of the unredeemed human animal. Even so, there is always a spark of light and life that is good, and only through empowering life and affirming its goodness even through darkness and adversity is the way found to overcome the fear and alluring seduction of the dark gnosis of Eros. Of all of the underworld gnostic currents, Eros is the most challenging to overcome and resolve because we all love life and its pleasures.

Resolution as the Marriage of the Shadow and Persona

Having passed through all four of these underworld depictions of Hell, and having resolved their imposing challenges, the initiate adept is then free to face them together as one since overall challenge. This is because they have become truly purged of the darkness and are fully clear and knowing of themselves through the contrast of light and darkness, life and death. The ultimate task for the initiate adept is to not only resolve these trials in a single cycle of four consecutive dark new moon nights, but to keep them alive within them as a means to measure and realize the truth about themselves. When the fifth new moon occurs in the sequence of months, then the final act in the Ordeal is consummated. 
 

In that moment, the final and fifth stage, the initiate adept fuses all four arch-demons into a single being of darkness and light, the true nameless Godhead of Ordeals. It is also where the wedding ceremony or the union between the individual shadow and the persona is enacted, and the greater gateway of Light and Darkness, Shadow and Persona, might be established. It is an event where the doorway of the soul is always left open so that there might be a cyclic communion between light and dark. 

 

This wedding ceremony is the Hieros Gamos of the shadow and the ego-based persona, made possible through the intervention of the magician’s God/dess Within, their Atman or individual godhead. This is because the ultimate resolution of the trump card The Devil XV is resolved through the trump card The Lovers VI. A magical jeweled ring, which is used to symbolize their union, is consecrated, charged, given and received (worn by the initiate adept), and a special underworld gateway rite is periodically performed as part of the magician’s magical discipline every new moon. It opens one up to the place where the shadow and persona go to merge and become one. This is an ongoing and never-ending process, since the internal psychic unity tied to the godhead is something that must be periodically consummated. It becomes part of the magician’s regular liturgical practice, unfailingly performed until that day when they emerge on the other side of the Greater Abyss, as a being that is whole, enlightened, illuminated and conscious of their singular godhead.  

Whatever other ordeal that I might seek to promote to my readers, this is the one that must be undertaken at some point by anyone who would gain the final stages of non-dual consciousness in their lifetime as practicing magicians. Yet it is the Devil, in his various forms, who is the archetypal Shadow of all beings, that is arbiter of this ordeal, and it is through him that the master adept might gain their full mastery of the powers of light and darkness, and their mastery of life in all its vicissitudes. 

Frater Barrabbas

World Shadow as the Devil

 

This is part 2 of a three part article that is the introduction to Magical Shadow Work and Ordeal XV. I will be writing a book about this ordeal in the future. Here is the basic understanding to this masterful challenge that all adepts must face in their magical and spiritual career. 

While our personal shadow typically remains nameless and undefinable, the archetypal embodiment of this shadowy and mysterious individual does have many names and qualities as defined in our culture and our social world. In the west, including the middle east, that personage is the Devil or Satan, the ultimate antagonist and representative of all that is rejected in our societies. He is seen as too prideful or too despicable to be suffered as having any kind of important role or even to be acknowledged except as the repository of the sins of humankind. The social polarization of good and evil has created an archetypal personage that holds all the evil that has ever been committed by humans in the world, whether minor infractions and deviations from the expected norms or massive crimes against humanity and nature. Yet he is also the polar opposite of the Deity in monotheistic religious traditions, taking on the attributes of punisher, stern judge, and wrathful avenger as the dark side of the cultural Godhead. Since God is above and beyond the evil that afflicts the world, then it is up to God’s Shadow as the Devil to meet out justice and retribution.

As we learn by painful experiences, so too do we gain insight and wisdom through the struggles and critical ordeals that life presents us. Knowledge is often gained by bitter disappointments, and a life without struggle, resistance or pain is one that is devoid of constructive self-knowledge and self-improvement. Behind such lessons of life is our shadow, who seems to guide us as a primary instigator into and through life’s travails and difficulties. The shadow is both a guardian barring our way and a guide who instructs us in how to proceed, overcoming obstacles. Our greater lesson is to learn to be aware of the shadow’s psychic intuition and to listen to its teachings. As practitioners of magic, this is a crucial lesson to master.

The same holds for the cultural or world shadow as the archetype of the Devil, who shows us the darkness that we refuse to see, and instigates disruptive chaos against the seemingly mindless and the unwitting people who fail to hear and realize his warnings. Thus, Satan is both the punisher and also the teacher, indirectly overseeing the paths of the mage and the sage. Since the true aspect of the Deity is its unity, then the Devil, who is God’s shadow, represents that polar opposite which is necessary for the union of light and darkness to be fully realized. It is the joining of God and Satan into a single supremely paradoxical being that opens the doorway to true enlightenment and the realization of the One. 

Yet to only acknowledge the good Deity and to ignore or disparage its shadow is to create an even greater paradox, which is splitting the Deity and fostering a destructive duality that cannot be logically supported or resolved, since it denies the inherent unity of all things, material, mental and spiritual. We can see the damage that Christianity has unleashed on the world by passionately adhering to a dualistic spiritual perspective that divides the world into the faithful good and the unfaithful evil. Such divisions are always a precursor to religious oppression and then followed by violent persecution. Religious wars are the most destructive kind of civil violence humanity has ever unleashed or experienced. The balanced path between the archetypal agencies of light and darkness is the only path to peace and constructive interaction. In order for that state of peace to occur we must all accept the fact that there are unresolved paradoxes and mysteries within the soul of humanity and the Soul of the World. It is imperative that we accept them as they exist and not to try to resolve them through religious interdiction.

As magicians we travel the path of transformative initiation, ever mindful that such a milestone is achieved when we encounter our shadow self in a land of shadows, our psychic underworld. At the zenith of this powerful psychic process, we meet two personages: our shadow opposite with whom we must unite, and our image of paternal authority with whom we must gain approbation. This stage where we meet our shadow occurs as a kind of wedding or Hieros Gamos where opposites are ceremonially united, to be followed by a new dynamic of empowerment. The next stage in the hero’s journey is known as “Atonement with the Father,” which represents the realignment that must occur once the self is made whole again. This is the stage where the hero must take on the laws and judgements of their culture and social position. It is only when there is a new balance established between the light and darkness of the self, mitigated by the laws, ethics and social graces of the archetypal image of the hero’s home, that he is released from bondage to become the apotheosis of humankind.

 

 

Yet the father figure that demands atonement is characterized, in my opinion, by the Tarot trump the Devil XV. I have made this analogy in previous writings, and it is based on my comparative mapping between the hero’s stages and the trumps of the Tarot. It is the Devil who has a central role to play in this cyclic process of psychological death and rebirth. While the shadow represents to us the individual that tests and challenges us so that we might gain a unified psychic wholeness, it is the Devil who orchestrates this process and who rules the underworld. 

If we examine the Tarot trump the Devil, we see depicted on it two horned individuals with pointed tails, a naked man and woman, loosely (voluntarily) chained by their necks to a rock-like altar pedestal, jointly worshiping their diabolical master. In the center of the card stands the archetypal image of Satan in all his terrible glory. Upon this pedestal, he demonstrates in his pose the ultimate mystery in the words “solve et coagula” tattooed on his arms, one raised above pointing to the heavens and the other pointing to the ground. These words mean to dissolve and conjoin, which is the very process that the hero undergoes to achieve transformation. This Tarot trump is the mirror image of trump VI, the Lovers, representing a different kind of union of opposites. The Lovers VI is where the hero and his shadow join in the fusion of light and darkness as directed and sanctioned by a god, and the Devil XVI is where that union is tested, rectified and made whole. So, it would seem the entire mystery of our shadow work leads us to psychic union and transformation, where we receive the “devil’s mark” as a sign of our achievement. The two Tarot trumps are the key to this mystery, but first we must meet the Devil to determine our fate in this greater transformation.

 

Frater Barrabbas 

Magical Shadow Work

 

This is part 1 of a three part article that is the introduction to Magical Shadow Work and Ordeal XV. I will be writing a book about this ordeal in the future. Here is the basic understanding to this masterful challenge that all adepts must face in their magical and spiritual career. 

Shadow Work is a very popular topic these days and there are lots of books on the subject with a full regimen of practices and journaling. Some of the available online information advise would-be shadow workers to consult with a therapist and not try to do these practices alone. Others take a less intense approach that seems friendly to anyone. Certainly, those who suffer from mental health issues shouldn’t engage with this kind of work, but with the large array of practical applications and books on the subject, it seems like an inviting approach to gaining a full understanding of one’s self. There is almost a kind of New Age sheen to this topic, as it has become very popular over the last decade or two. However, a serious approach to this kind of work does require a solid psychological foundation and an overall healthy mental outlook on life, as well as a degree of openness, courage and self-confidence. Real shadow work is not for the faint hearted nor the superficial devotee of trends.

So, despite the hype and the alluring faddism regarding this practice, it is quite real and represents a true methodology to expose us to our darker selves, showing us an image of ourselves that contains everything that we seem to dislike or repress about ourselves. It also presents us with the means to integrating that shadowy nature back into our conscious selves. The shadow is the part of ourselves that has been displaced from our conscious self and is filled with those characteristics that we have been told by parents and authority figures are bad behaviors, inclinations or impulses. We start out in life without any real shadow, functioning as a whole but severely underdeveloped human being. As we travel through life our parents, teachers, and other authority figures judge our behavior, and encourage those activities that are considered appropriate in social settings and family life, and suppress those that are considered inappropriate or wrong. We grow up learning about the differences between good and evil, and we try, sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much, to adhere to the standard presented to us.

However, the shadow does not just contain those attributes of ourselves that are negative or deemed socially unacceptable. Many people also suppress their creativity or their genius for doing things that are above average so that they might fit in with their peers and avoid rejection. Being too smart, too artistic, too insightful, and too anything will cause individuals to be rejected or not considered one of the peer group. The exceptions are physical beauty or athletic skill, which are more a part of genetics and good fortune than any kind of external social grace or internal reckoning. Being a member of the upper class certainly can make mediocre people into members of the “in crowd,” and avoiding extremes or forms of high excellence will ensure that one is an acceptable and accessible member of the group. Mediocrity is highly acceptable, but exceptionalism in any form has a social cost.

In ancient times people avoided outwardly showing any degree of material success or good fortune to their peers to avoid the effects of jealousy and the “evil eye.” That kind of cautionary behavior has found itself in the present age as well. Most people, therefore, leave behind their personal treasures as well as their potentially bad behavior to be accepted by their peer group and to become a favored and privileged member of their society. All of these qualities end up residing in our shadow, and often we are barely conscious of what we have sacrificed to be an approved member of our social group. We adhere to these standards of social acceptance whether we realize it or not, unless, of course, we perversely seek to break them. 

Some people reject these standards partially or completely while others are incapable of following some or all of them, to their unfortunate social detriment. Those who don’t follow the expected norms are a deviant group where bohemians, revolutionaries, thieves, thugs, murderers, arsonists, and violent terrorists find themselves, but also anyone who is member of the suppressed and despised minorities. Our cultural shadow is like a big carnival tent containing a variety of marginalized or unwanted people. 

As a Witch and ritual magician, I have found myself occasionally accused of being in league with various anarchists and secret cultists, and I am sure that other minorities, whether by racial, religious, gender, or sexual preference biases have found themselves placed in some suspicious group as well. It is easy to judge and condemn whole groups of people, especially those who are powerless to actively defend themselves. It has become a single-minded fad in our current national political culture, where oppressing the supposed “bad” (non-white or abnormal) people is a popular pastime of the recently empowered rightwing bigots, racists, misogynists, and fascists (who call themselves Republicans). One could easily say that America itself has succumbed to its dark shadow side with the activities and beliefs espoused by the current administration and their donor class backers.

This divergent pathway leads to the domain of shadows and the ubiquitous “Other” that represents how societies and cultures determine their own collective shadow. All of this should be included in the study of shadow work because individual shadows are characters that reside within a cultural shadow, and sometimes a person’s shadow whose conscious persona is considered part of the cultural shadow by others, would be solidly and boringly normal, if not also judgmental, racist and bigoted as qualities associated with their shadow self. I think that my own shadow has attributes that would express itself in a racist and misogynist manner while proclaiming to be a conventional and normal Christian man. I still use the names of God and Jesus in vain when perturbed, even though I am a steadfast adherent of Witchcraft. That is something to ponder.

Continuing with this analysis, a criminal might have a lawful and moral shadow, or they might simply be allowing their dark nature to be seen and projected without any kind of filter. What this means is that a person’s shadow is complicated by the culture that they reside in, and it is not really easy to determine the qualities of a person’s shadow. Defining one’s shadow is, therefore, not as simple as putting together a list of the things we detest or fear about ourselves. Our shadow lives in a kind of shadow land, so there is the problem of defining our shadow and the contextual shadow world it resides in. Still, the shadow gives us endless clues, particularly when we project the negative attributes of our shadow on to other people that we intuitively dislike, and project its positive attributes on to those whom we impulsively idolize. 

Everyone who is a mature adult has some kind of dark side or shadow. A person might appear mannerly, gracious, kind, generous and compassionate, but they also have a shadow or dark side that is crass, odious, mean, selfish and indifferent. Unless people have addressed their darker and repressed side of themselves then they will be plagued with moments when their internal darkness leaks out regardless of how good they might appear to others. We all have our less than admirable moments of weakness when we show a side of ourselves that contradicts our assumed persona. Our persona is that which embodies the attributes of our self that we want people to always see. We may believe and insist that we are good people, but this is often only a mask that hides a part of ourselves that is decidedly negative. Our overall selves are complex and contain contradictory attributes, and because we need to present ourselves in some kind of unified manner, we will behave in a way that supports our self-belief and suppresses behavior that goes against how we see ourselves. Our persona is how we want to be seen by others, yet our shadow contains everything that we seek to omit from that self-definition, whether deliberately or unwittingly.

Contradictions and conflicts between the shadow and the persona can tarnish a well-meaning individual with hypocrisy and duplicity when their darker side accidently comes out of hiding. When a person insists that they are unanimously good in all their activities and intentions, they are similarly daring their dark side to come out and show itself at moments of frustration and helplessness. Claiming to be a force for good at all times is as much of a form of self-deceit as it is to claim to be always bad. We are never always one thing or another since we are so complex as individuals. Yet often our darker intentions and impulses will bleed out when we are unaware or when we are imbalanced by misfortune, surprise, moments of personal weakness, or self-doubt. This happens to us when we experience events that trigger a psychic interaction with our shadow, allowing it to briefly emerge. Events that can trigger a psychic inversion where the shadow dominates the self are different for everyone, since they are dependent on our life experiences, our affected persona quality, and our inherent psychological dynamics.

This is the reason why I am dubious at the claims of would-be spiritual teachers or political leaders who can do no wrong, and supposedly high-minded New Age folks who espouse to be exclusively white light practitioners of love, bliss and peace; since it is more likely that their shadow is darker than normal, and when it comes out, their followers are very shocked. It is for this reason that I see a parallel of the shadow with the theme of the Picture of Dorian Grey. Except in this case, the picture shows what we truly look like as adults while looking through a dark, obsidian mirror. It doesn’t matter how good a person we think we are, or how nicely we have behaved over our lifetime, when all that we have repressed has painted a picture of ourselves that we would find loathsome and despicable. That, in a word, is the dark trick played on those people who think that they are predominately or exclusively good. It is also why I tend avoid people who pretentiously idolize their own supposed goodness. It just rings fake and hollow in my mind. Even someone who is balanced and seemingly normal can be thrown off by the wiles of their shadow.

When I talk about the religious aspects of Witchcraft, I speak of the powers of light and darkness, not just light. There is a polarity in Witchcraft, both from a magical energy perspective and a theological perspective. There is no absolute light or darkness, but they take turns and work together to formulate the world we live in. The cycle of night and day, winter and summer and the points in transition between them are a natural representation of this interaction of light and darkness. From this point of view, there is no white or black magic, there is no good or evil. There is only our intent and our desire, our vector in life, and the consequence of our actions. This resonates both through our persona and our shadow. They are fully integrated into our magic and religion as two opposites that have a common source - the One. Thus, Witchcraft as a religion admits that there is a dark attribute to all conscious beings, preparing and opening us to experience the interplay of light and darkness, in nature, people and society, and in ourselves. Of course, light and darkness also represent life and death, and because most people fear death in some manner, then death itself, especially the death of the ego and the persona that we carry, is also an attribute of our shadow.

Liminal states can be found where the shadow and persona touch and meet, and it is here where habits and addictions reside that can pose health problems and self-destructive behavior, which is dimly conscious and yet still active. People can inform us that we have a drinking or drug problem or some other kind of socially unacceptable health issue, and typically we will deny that it is a problem until we fully realize it, often at the nadir of its effects on us. Conversely, we can find ourselves living an empty life that momentarily becomes filled with inspiration and joy, fueled by our repressed creativity or excellence, only to have it quickly depart when we recognize that we are engaging in something that we have deemed to be unacceptable about ourselves. The place between light and darkness, the persona and the shadow, is also the place of true religion, magic, and mystery. It is a place of twilight, marked by the intersection of the spheres of light and darkness, symbolically making a convex and concave joining of crescent shapes, combining together to formulate the archetypal image of the Vesica Pisces. This shape represents the mystery of the unified Self and the place between light and darkness.

This domain of twilight is the place where our dreams become powerful instruments of instruction and inspiration, if we are brave enough to open ourselves to that in-between state. In the shadow land are mysteries, magical powers, devils, demons, monsters and the host of the underworld. Yet there are also the various embodiments of Deity, Gods, Goddesses, Angels, ancestor spirits, heroes and heroines, and the ghost roads that interconnect them into a singularity. It is through the gateway of the twilight world that we can meet and gain inspiration through our exposure to that secret place.

It would seem to us that there is mostly a stasis or equilibrium between the darkness and light in our personality, and that would be true if we were not dynamic beings. Yet it just as often seems as if the darkness and light are at war within our psyche, and our ego-based persona seeks to maintain its dominance to keep the denizens of the darkness at bay. Yet often there are leakages and times when the darkness surprises us or even overcomes us, either momentarily or sometimes permanently, as in cases of mental collapse. Any perceived balance is either a deceptive illusion or the calm before the storm.

However, it is our closed attitude to the darkness within us that is the cause of our sufferings and problems. We constantly place an insoluble border between our shadow and our outward persona, but that doesn’t need to occur. If we understand that our inner psychic polarity can be mitigated by relaxing our borders between light and darkness, and eliminating our inner governing self-judgment, then we will realize that this polarity is nothing more than opposing or conflicting beliefs and ideas about ourselves and our world which are ultimately illusory. This is because our own personality, both the light and darkness, exist in a perpetual state of paradox. To accept this internal paradox is to realize the mystery of ourselves and the mystery of all human beings. 

This state of mindful self-acceptance is also the most important first step of initiatory transformation, since we must enter into our shadow land and confront our individual shadow to undergo the process where we are made whole and spiritually complete. I have written books on the subject of transformative initiation, but the shadow and our inner underworld are the primary keys to spiritual enlightenment, only requiring one additional personality. 

Frater Barrabbas 

Liber Artis Archaeomancy - Two Volumes

This was my thirteenth book project, which I started and finished writing last year. It was the largest book that I had ever written so far, being in excess of 217K words. My publisher decided to break this book into two volumes, and since there are two different systems of magic associated with the term and concept of Archaeomancy, I felt that this was a good idea. When this book is released, it will be in two volumes, even though they won’t be released simultaneously. Still, they will be part of Cross Crow Books adjoining catalogues of new releases, and this will happen in 2026. Editing on the first volume wont start until December of this year, and this pause in my publishing regimen has given me time to relocate to a new home and endure all of the disruption that has entailed. I will also have plenty of time to finish my latest book project, titled “The Gnostic Tetrasacramentary,” which would have been my fourteenth book project, but it is now my fifteenth.

I have written a previous article on Archaeomancy, and you can find it here.

Archaeomancy is a system of magic that I started developing in the 1980's, but continued to develop through the 2010's. I have been working with this system of magic for forty years, refining and perfecting it until it has become a comprehensive system of magic for invoking all classes of angels and attributes of the Deity, and traveling into the Qabalistic Dimensions. This system of magic relies heavily on the modern Qabalah, using the structures of the Four Qabalistic Worlds and the Tree of Life to define two modes of magic. The first one is a regimen of invocation using the ritual mechanism of the Archetypal Gate, with the implication that the magician enters into the various predefined forty domains where the angelic hosts reside. I call this the Archaeomancy of the Forty Worlds, since it is ordered by the domains of Atziluth, Briah, Yetzirah and Assiah through the ten Sephiroth, dividing each world into forty distinct cells. 

The second system of Archaeomancy is the methodology of entering into the Qabalistic domains of the Tree of Life which I call the Dimensions using the artifice of the Transdimensional Vortex Gate. These eighteen domains are the prismatic triangular shapes established by the combined attributes of Sephiroth, Pathways, and the angular vectors associated with the Paths. This system of magic was given to me through my discourse with the Nephilim. They also gave me a rudimentary system of the Enochian Qabalah, since the structure of this system of magic required a more nuanced and complicated structure of the Tree of Life. I have named this system of magic Spiritual Archaeomancy, since it requires the magician to become a psychonaut and to travel into the fabric of the Dimension itself and join with the core of the spiritual Tree of Life, there to briefly experience the enlightenment gained through assumption and personification of the Godhead Avatar of that specific Dimension.

These two ritualized mechanisms, the Archetypal Gate and the Transdimensional Vortex Gate, represent elegant ritual solutions to complex operations. The Archetypal Gate ritual is a modular ritual structure that is meant to be used with little modification to invoke any of the four major classes of angelic spirits associated with the Four Qabalistic Worlds and the ten Sephiroth of the Tree of Life. While the Transdimensional Vortex Gate ritual is a highly customized rite that is used to enter into one of the eighteen Qabalistic Dimensions, it also uses a modular ritual structure so that magicians can use it to enter any of the dimensions, using only some custom attributes but maintaining the same overall ritual structure. 

An overview of the ritual pattern for the Archetypal gate reveals that the staff, acting as a pylon between the base magic circle and the zenith of the heavens, allows for the inner eastern gateway to open itself into the domain of the Qabalistic World and allow the mind and soul of the magician to enter therein and commune with the target angelic entity within its own place of residence. Here is a quote that I used to describe the ritual structure of the Archetypal Gate magical working in my book.

“[T]he basic ritual pattern is to establish a powerful invoking vortex, and upon that foundation, erect an archetypal gateway aligned to the East. The staff is used as a pylon lintel tool to establish the archetypal hierarchy once the gateway is entered, and through the conduit of the charged and empowered staff, to invoke the target angel through that gateway using a specially written Enochian invocation.”

Similarly, the Transdimensional Vortex Gate ritual uses the power of the trapezoid to establish an entrance into the Qabalistic Dimension. The foundation for this work is the prior invocations of the Sephiroth and Pathways that border the Dimension. The three Aethyrs, positioned at the angular vectors of the Pathways, are each summoned in sequence, from lowest to highest, in association with the Dimension, and their unified expression and character becomes the symbolic key that is used to open that domain to the mind and spirit of the magician. Yet it is the four Emissaries who ward the Dimension who must be summed in that trapezoidal gateway structure, and through them, the magician meets and assumes the persona of the empowered Avatar of that Dimension. It is through this assumption that the magician gains the enlightened visionary wisdom of that domain, and momentarily touches the absolute spirit of the One, gaining the illumination of all eighteen Dimensions in a single moment of realization. Here is a quote that I used to describe the ritual structure of the Transdimensional Vortex Gate working in my second book in the Archaeomancy system of magic.

“To emulate the attributes of the dimension, the operator will erect a trapezoidal ritual structure that will use the three angles of the Northeast, Southeast, Southwest angles and the Western watchtower. At each of these four points the operator will draw a trapezoidal cross, intone a formula letter, verbalize a short invocation using a verba ignota from Liber Juratus, and invoke one of the four emissaries that make up the spirit of the Avatar of the Dimension. Once the invocation is done, the operator draws an invoking spiral to summon the spirit of the emissary. These four trapezoidal points are then drawn up to the Ultrapoint in a deosil circuit, beginning in the northeast and ending in the west. What this ritual pattern represents is a grand trapezohedron structure, which formulates the transdimensional vortex and generates a non-Euclidean space-time continuum completely separate from our own.”

These are the tools that I have developed and placed into these two ritual systems of Archaeomancy, which is the Archetypal Gate and the Transdimensional Vortex Gate, and they are, in their uniqueness, revelatory of my approach to working these kinds of magic. Whether the magician seeks to invoke any of the attributes of the Elemental Godhead, or the various classes of Archangels and Angels, or to enter into the very fabric of the Tree of Life to gain the wisdom of the Avatar of the Dimension, these two books thoroughly outline and discuss the process as well as providing the actual rituals to perform these operations. Thus, these two books are part of my legacy to the practicing ritual magicians who aspire, through the Qabalah of the 40 Worlds and the Dimensional Tree of Life, to seek to achieve enlightenment through the successful completion of the ordeals outlined therein.

Here is the advertisement for the first book.

“Archaeomancy of the Four Qabalistic Worlds is a complete system of magic that can be used to invoke angels of all classes and types. Archaeomancy is an obscure term that represents a new perspective in the practice of angelic invocation magic. It is defined as the primordial magic, or the magic of the source. It is also a methodology for traveling into the forty worlds that are revealed as the combination of the ten Sephiroth of the Tree of Life and the four Qabalistic Worlds, which is one of the definitions of the Inner Planes. Archaeomancy is the magical technology that is used to not only invoke angelic beings, but also to generate the domain in which they reside, where the magician enters into their world to meet the them face to face. Frater Barrabbas has defined this system of magic as the principal mechanism for an immersion within the Inner Planes, thus promoting the ritual magician as a spirit traveler entering into the World of Spirit to achieve a perfect dialogue with the spirits in that place.

This is a comprehensive work that will assist the intermediate ritual magician in being able to invoke and engage with the entire collective of angels as defined in the Western Mystery Tradition. While there are many books on the topic of angel magic, there has never been a book that addressed the invocation of all classes of angels. Whether a magician seeks to invoke the archangels, the Seraphim and Cherubim, the angels of the Shemhemphorash, or the ruling angles of the decans, or even the lesser servitors or messenger angels, this book, titled “Liber Artis Archaeomancy – Mastering the Angels of the Four Worlds” contains the rituals used to invoke them. Through the methodology of immersion that Frater Barrabbas has expounded on within this new book, there is far more to a magical invocation than just summoning a spirit.

Archaeomancy is an exciting and compelling system of magic, and Frater Barrabbas, in this his 13th book, explains thoroughly how to completely master this new system of magic.”

And, to complete this essay, here is the advertisement for the second book.

“This is Frater Barrabbas’ second book in the series on Archaeomancy, titled “Liber Artis Archaeomancy – Mastering the Qabalistic Dimensions.” It is devoted to revealing the Qabalah of the 18 Dimensions, which are those triangular shapes within the Tree of Life that are delimited by Sephiroth, Pathways, and the angular pathways, revealed as the ubiquitous Enochian Aethyrs. Frater Barrabbas has developed a system of magic that enables the spiritual traveler or “psychonaut” to pass through the structure of the Tree of Life to enter into one of those powerful domains, called the Qabalistic Dimensions.

Since the dawn of human consciousness, people have sought to enter into the inner domains of the Spirit World to engage and commune directly with their ancestors, spirit guides, avatars and deities. Premier amongst these travelers of the domain of spirit were the shamans, those spiritual healers and cultural revealers representing their tribes and nations. Every religion since has emulated the shamans and advocated singular individuals who had made the passage from the world of the living and the reality of light into the domain of the dead and darkness to merge with the very core of spirituality itself, that which is known as the One. Whether it was Orpheus, Odysseus, Heracles, Theseus, or Psyche for the Greeks, or Aeneas of the Romans, or Enoch, Ezekiel, Jonah or Isiah of the Jews, or Dante for the Medieval Italians, all sought to enter into the underworld and to return, renewed and enlightened. Now, in the modern world, Frater Barrabbas has assembled a system of magic using the structure of the Qabalistic Tree of Life to enter into the dimensional inner worlds of the Spiritual Qabalah to achieve temporary glimpses of the glory of the Deity and to obtain enlightenment and spiritual renewal.

Through the use of rituals that invoke the Qabalistic Sephiroth, the Pathways between them, and the Aethyrs at the angles, and through the artifice of the Transdimensional Vortex Gate, a magician, using the rites in this book, will enter into a domain of wonder and profound truth.”

While the schedule for the publishing of these two books has not been officially established, the first one should be available around June 2026. The second book will likely be available after that time, perhaps six months later, or December 2026. When these dates are fully established, I will happily let you know. I believe that these two books will add considerably to the knowledge base of the practicing ritual magician.

Frater Barrabbas

How I fell Out of the Man Box

Throughout most of my life, and certainly my adult life, I have never had any doubts as to who I am, nor have I ever felt deficient, nor penitent about my race or sexual orientation. I just felt that I was an ordinary person with unusual interests and pursuits. I am an elderly white cis-gender heterosexual male living in the post modern United States. I don’t feel any guilt for the prejudice and racism that has been unleashed on blacks or people of color by people of my race, nor the bigotry displayed towards those of other religious persuasions. Despite the fact that I am a product of white privilege, I believe fervently there is enough abundance in the world for everyone to be treated equally, fairly and with dignity. I also believe in the possibility for reparations and affirmative action, along with other programs to fix racial inequality.  I am not politically conservative nor religiously exclusive, since to be this way goes against what I practice and what I myself promote. I don’t have doubts about my sexual preferences, and I don’t feel inadequate as a man nor troubled by my identity as one. I lean towards liberalism, but I am not part of the radical left, in fact I wonder if such a political perspective even exists anymore in our country.

I do take responsibility for racism and bigotry, and I try to address that whenever I encounter it, whether in momentary lapses in myself or in others that are close to me. I try to be mindful of the complexities of human expression and culture, and above all, to try and be open minded and compassionate to everyone. Of course I often fail at that attempt, but I am sensitive about the feelings of others and of my own behavior, and I seek to change when I am shown to be wrong or lacking in compassion for others. In fact, despite my many numerous flaws and inadequacies, I understand myself, my limitations, and seek to find peace with that knowledge. In short, I am who I am, but that’s all that I am. My friends and I call that the Popeye’s creed.

So, how did I manage to escape from all of the cultural pressures and discontinuity that seem to be challenging the definition of what it is to be a man in the world today? I don’t buy into the archetype of masculinity that has dominated the minds of most heterosexual white men, or even men of different races who are heterosexual. Like everyone else, I see the media personages of manly men, and I am amused and entertained by them, but not moved to emulate them in any fashion. Some men have become conservative both politically and religiously because within that mental perspective is a simple definition of manhood that they can easily emulate. Of course, taking that path will cause people to be at odds against the diverse culture that they live in, where plurality and tolerance are required in order to function and interact with others not like themselves. It would seem that accepting such a simple solution has very complex and negative consequences. 

Yet for me and my situation, I got booted out of the Man Box because I identified with being a Witch, a ritual magician and an occultist. I had broken too many taboos and crossed the line in what was acceptable male behavior to earn anything but scorn and derision from any alpha type male. That happened when I was a teenager, and because I could talk to spirits and gods in my head (and I wasn’t crazy), I had no other choice but to follow that path. My high-school peers rejected my choice in religious activity, and I became a pariah wherever I went. There was also something unmanly about being a Witch, since it was an epithet usually associated with nasty, over-bearing, threatening, and decrepit old women. It also had amoral and diabolic associations, marking me as someone who was obviously on the wrong side of just about everything.

Prior to coming out as a Witch to my high-school peers, I had some moderate success joining the high-school football team, but I was definitely B or C team material, and not good enough nor talented enough to be first string. However, I was an accepted part of that crowd of athletes, that is, until I let it be known that I was a Witch and began to dress and act the part. I became a goth before that was even a thing, and my peers, especially the athletic crowd, ridiculed and mocked me. My junior year high-school year-book was tagged with much of this kind of verbal abuse, since I unwittingly let it out of my hands when seeking others to sign it. I soaked up all of the negative attention because I relished letting my true self come out and I openly defied conventions and proper decorum. These were interesting times for me, as you can imagine, but it changed everything for me, and I was no longer considered “one of the guys.” Instead I was seen as that weirdo Witch person, and some women even called me queer, before that epithet became indicative of someone who was either gendered or sexually non-binary.

So, before I even became fully an adult man, I was judged to be not at all manly or even a pretended manliness. Even my short and pathetic stint in the Navy didn’t change that image, in fact it made it worse because I was discharged as unsuitable for military duty. This was before Wicca was an accepted religion in the military and acting as a Witch was wholly unacceptable, and I took that discharge as a release from the limitations, enforced conformity, and regimentation of a military life. By the time that I was 20 years old, I was completely out of any kind of cultural definition of masculinity, and that fact was not only a relief and a way of achieving personal freedom, it was something of a badge of honor for me. I wasn’t like other people, and in fact, I was, in many ways, contrary to what others believed was normal and acceptable behavior. Since I was so outside of the norm, I saw no reason to be prejudiced against others who were also considered outside of the norm, such as gays, lesbians, radical left-wing types, and the hosts of the disenfranchised “Other,” and I was seen as an honorary member of that wonderful but despised group of people.

Gone was the pecking order of men who in groups sought dominance over each other, since I was never considered part of their group, and I had little interest in sports, drinking beer in bars, or attending churches or other expected social gatherings. I was an outsider, but I had no regrets since I was free to associate with whomever I wished, and I didn’t have to deal with the pressures and harsh opinions of my peer group. I didn’t worry about what sports team I was fond of, because I was not part of any group where that mattered. It was the same for me regarding politics and religion.

While white heterosexual men sought to deal with our changing culture, dealing with civil rights, women’s liberation, and then later the “Me Too” movement, and finding that adjustment difficult if not almost contrary to what they perceived as the edifice of manhood, I was completely onboard with these changes. I cheered them on since progressive social changes would mean that I would become more acceptable and mainstream, and some of the cognitive dissonance that I had to deal with would be diminished. While some men struggled or even lost ground with these social changes, I had already actually arrived at that point years earlier. My masculinity was not defined by culture or popular consensus. It was defined by my own inner sense of personal value and an acceptance of who I was at a core level. I had developed my personality without racial prejudice, bigotry, or the need to dominate, and I felt it was acceptable to feel and express my pain or loss in whatever seemed appropriate to me, not caring what others thought. I was notorious for quietly crying when watching the sad or poignant moments in a movie, and that was also true when I lost a pet or a friend. I saw any role that a man or woman might take on to be appropriate, especially if they excelled at it, and this made the stereotyped role models that were pushed when I was growing up as completely irrelevant. 

Additionally, the myths and ideals in my religion supported gender role reversals and promoted equality and equity, even though early forms of Wicca were locked into the High Priestess and High Priest, Goddess and God kind of binary polarity, and allowed for a structure of initiatory hierarchy to be formulated. That proved to be ultimately untenable and it was the old tropes and patterns being forced onto a new religious system. In the present time, the traditional Witchcraft and coven social structure is being replaced by something that is much more egalitarian, and that is more in keeping with the true spirit of Witchcraft than what was earlier established by Gardner and his followers.

I followed this path of Witchcraft throughout its various winding and twisting and saw it become something of a fully realized mystery religion, and as this creed developed, so did I. I started this path back in the early 1970's, before it became a popular religious movement. It was a time when a few hundred of like-minded individuals would gather together in a park or a campground that included some of the various founders of the later expanding traditions. We were a distinct minority, and we were scattered across the country in communities where we were often few or even alone in our pursuits. Isolation often made us peculiar and insular, and without much of a social world in which to meet and greet others of like mind, we were sometimes loners.

My only regret is that taking such a path, and being judged as one of the Others, also meant that it was more difficult for me to find a mate or achieve a long term relationship. While I may have touched many individuals, and initiated many women into the Craft, I was unable to find anyone who wanted to join their life with mine. I found that women in general were mostly keen to remain part of the mainstream establishment, and that in many ways, they were the ones who enabled and maintained it. Whatever rejection and dismissal I got from mainstream white heterosexual men was amplified by white heterosexual women. I was neither socially attractive, handsome, materially successful, nor was I any kind of alpha male that they would identify as a suitable match. So when it came to pairing up, I was left outside and alone. However, I could talk to my Goddess and felt her love, and as it turned out, love was much more my path than fighting, resistance, or anger and hatred.

Unlike the much talked about Incels of today, I didn’t blame or hate women for my predicament. I saw myself as the source of the problem, and I also understood that I was an undefinable quality as a man because of my involvement in Witchcraft and magic. I took the good along with the bad, and knew that in time, I would find someone, or someone would find me. Meanwhile, I had a lot of magical rituals to develop, and continued to engage with my sparse Pagan and Wiccan community, walking a mostly solitary path in the beginning, but over time, seeing the popularity of my path continue to grow. 

All of these experiences made me realize that I could do nothing more than just be myself. I could assume the persona of the Witch and Ritual Magician in social settings if I chose, or just be neutral and reside in the background, unmolested. This realization certainly was active when I began to be exposed to the Men’s Movement in my circle of Pagans and Witches. I found it to be problematical because it seemed to focus on the old themes of masculinity of the past ages, of the warrior, hunter, provider, father soldier, and the various exponents of paternity that I had originally rejected to be a Witch. These old themes seemed no longer relevant in our post modern world, so I felt that the Men’s Movement was not particularly useful in addressing these issues of role assumption. I think that the only thing a Men’s Movement would be able address, as comically as it would seem, would be the mystery of being gendered a male, but even that seemed overly simplified. Having a dick seemed too basic to make up any kind of religious practice, and considering the complexity of gender and that it was no longer perceived as binary, it also seemed to be irrelevant.

What could we, as men, ascribe to in this post modern world that would truly represent our ability to assume any role needed or desired? Roles that were typically associated with women would be just as appropriate as roles that defined the alpha male in the previous age. What role someone assumed was actually completely flexible and could not be confined by stereotypes or even archetypes. We have entered into a brave new world where any static definition for roles or for one’s identity are too limiting and too restrictive. If we reduce all of the social expectations for roles and eliminate the binary definitions to include any and all possibilities, what we are left with is to just to be whoever and whatever we feel is correct and appropriate, with the idea that we can be flexible and change our role whenever circumstances, situations or internal feelings dictate we should. Our world is constantly changing, and we should understand that nothing is either permanent nor fixed regarding our internal being and our cultural persona. Being inflexible and resistant to change is, in my opinion, a recipe for personal disaster.

In the end, roles are just superficial masks that we wear at the moment, and they cannot either define who we are or reveal our inner souls. We are just individuals, functioning both individually and collectively, and we embody our experiences of life, our relationships to others and ourselves over the long or short course of our life span, and that is all who we are, even at a deep spiritual level. We are a mystery of life and death, and learning to accept that fact is the beginning of wisdom. Our individuality and our fragile human existence is buffeted by change, and we, ourselves, are constantly changing. Nothing is permanent nor eternal in our sphere, and everything is ephemeral. If we seek to be truly free, knowing that nothing stays the same and therefore, too great of an attachment to anything brings with it the sorrow and despair of loss, we can live our lives liberated and even enlightened by this knowledge. We must therefore learn to lightly assume roles, follow our life’s path and be who we are without fear or regret, so that we might by guided by love and compassion for everyone and everything, especially ourselves. 

Frater Barrabas