Enough time has passed that I need to examine all that happened during my seven week ordeal and to analyze and examine it from a higher level perspective than what I was able to determine after completing each individual working. I need to put the whole process together and examine it, using what I know about occult symbolism and spiritual phenomena to classify what was experienced during that entire period of time. I am certain that as more time passes, I may have additional thoughts and insights to report, but for now, it’s important that I attempt to summarize what occurred and explain this process from a more abstract and theoretical perspective.
What I can deduce almost immediately is that this newly devised ordeal does indeed successfully achieve the same results that the traditional ordeal achieved, which is the knowledge and conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel. So I can say that the new ordeal is efficient, succinct and works quite well. That much I can say without any doubts or confusion - there is now a new way of undergoing this classic ordeal. What can’t be said is that it produces exactly the same results or that it is in any way an analogous working. The Abramelin Lunar Ordeal working is quite different than the traditional Abramelin ordeal working, although I believe that they produce a kind of similar effect on the operator.
Since I have not worked the traditional ordeal (nor can I, even if I wanted to), then I really have little to compare between the two processes, other than what I know about mystical and magickal practices, since the Abramelin ordeal is entirely mystical and devotional. My version of this ordeal is almost entirely magickal, with some elements of the devotional and mystical processes included in its formulation and deployment. These were added while the overall ordeal was being undergone, and were not really part of the original plan. The final mix of magickal workings and mystical devotion produces the correct combination of actions within sacred space that produce the same result as the traditional ordeal. So I can say with some degree of confidence that the lunar ordeal is in its final form. I will certainly rewrite and refine the specific rituals themselves, but the pattern of the ordeal is, I believe, complete.
I also believe that the invocation of the archangel Ratziel was crucial to the ordeal, even though that particular magickal working wasn’t part of the ordeal proper. For those who would want to duplicate this ordeal, it would be a requirement to perform this working as well as all of the rest in sequence. If we consider that the lunar ordeal covers the progression of Earth, Air, Water, Fire and Spirit, then the pre-ordeal working would cover the “Self” and would be part of the process that prepared one for the beginning of the ordeal. I will include this working in the structure of the ordeal, even though I will consider it to be optional. Any magician who elects to undergo this ordeal may perform this working, an alternative working or none.
The ordeal should be broken up into seven sections, starting with the pre-ordeal working, then proceeding through the four elements, Spirit and then concluding with the Abramelin ordeal and the Bornless One invocation rite. I believe that I can make a summary of each section and a final analysis.
Pre-ordeal Working: This working was performed the evening of November 7th. I had to fashion a new sigil, and the results of the invocation of Ratziel gave me the license and the authority to proceed with the ordeal. I received the protection and blessing of Ratziel and used his sigil as a passport in my invocations of the eight Super-archangels. I also concluded that a fast was in order, abstaining from red meat, eating sparingly (except for religious feasts) and adopting a vegetarian diet during the actual weekend workings.
“Ratziel also imparted to me that he had a hand in influencing and inspiring me to formulate this ordeal, even though the credit for doing so is still completely my own. So what this means is that a bit of angelic providence has inspired and guided me to formulate this working. I must admit that I am greatly intrigued, and it would seem that the spiritual hierarchy is in agreement with what I am about to do. ”
First weekend - Element of Earth: Nov 21 & 22. The first weekend working was accomplished without a lot of difficulties and seemed to show that the path of this ordeal was blessed with good intentions and auspicious occurrences. The results of the invocation of Zahriel was joyous and happy, Yophiel was intense, restrained, but gentle and kindly.
A quote from the invocation of Zahriel:
“Joyous existence - the happiness and great innocent pleasure in all of life - even when it seems like a burden to one. I saw a vision of a gaily dressed entity, like the Ghost of Christmas Present in Dickens' story, “A Christmas Carol,” amidst a halo of golden and brilliant lights. I felt all of the goodness that I have ever done for others compressed into a single moment of joyous and ecstatic happiness - an illumination of joyousness! I realized that knowing and being grateful for life was an important foundation to enlightenment, which can’t occur without that sense of gratification.”
A quote from the invocation of Yophiel:
“Devotion consists of the expressed and constant demonstration of the love of the Deity - giving offerings and purely worshiping it. This also includes forgiving the errors and follies of others, as well as giving alms to the poor and supporting one’s spiritual community. One should give either service or money to those who are bereft as a demonstration of spiritual solidarity with the human race.”
So two words that would fully represent this working is “joyous existence” and “devotion - the giving of offerings and worship” - both of these expressions powerfully colored the first weekend working. They caused me to change and modify how I was perceiving my life and how I was perceiving the needs of others. I became a bit of a philanthropist as well as a person who began to realize the beauty and joy of life itself.
Second Weekend - Element of Air: November 27 & 28. The second weekend working was quite difficult, although not as difficult as later parts of the ordeal. I had caught a nasty cold and it affected everything that I attempted to do. It did not stop the second weekend working from being performed, and I managed to experience a fairly rapid recovery, but the sickness colored the second weekend working, even though by the next week, all signs of it were gone. The results of the invocation of Yehoel was mind blowing, causing me to experience a kind of powerful mental expansion. Ophaniel exposed me to the power of judgement that is part of the Cherubim character, I was judged but found of reasonable integrity and intention to be allowed to continue the working. Obviously, if I had been found wanting, the ordeal would have come to grinding halt at this point.
A quote from the invocation of Yehoel:
“Yehoel told me that the true will is discovered through the resolution of parables, riddles, paradoxes and puzzles about the nature of reality, chance (fortune), and inherent capabilities (and flaws) associated with the individual. So the true will is not something that is straightforward, it’s more of a profound personal mystery - one that requires a constant focused inquiry. However, all personal destinies are resolved at the same point - ultimate union with the godhead, whether a person realizes that truth or not.”
A quote from the invocation of Ophaniel:
“You have achieved the midpoint of the working, and the beginning of the really more challenging and difficult parts of the ordeal. The seraphim will inspire you, and the cherubim will challenge you, as you have never been inspired or challenged before. The cherubim are the keepers of the gateway of the godhead and they will test and judge you as either worthy or unworthy. Fulfilling their requirements is extremely important. It must be done with an open heart and a transparent motivation - anything less will cause the ordeal to fail. You will not be able to bring all eight of these super-archangels together without incurring a kind of curse on yourself - so be warned, and prepare yourself!”
So from these two spirits I received wisdom about one’s spiritual will or destiny, and the need to fulfill the special requirements given to me by the Cherubim. As I have indicated, these two entities had a very powerful impact on my workings and permanently altered my attitude and sense of compassion for others.
Third Weekend - Element of Water: December 5 & 6. The third weekend working was more difficult and challenging than the previous two. While I was able to heal myself of the cold I had caught, now my mundane world, particularly my job, presented obstacles to completing the working. I persevered and used the power of my will to ensure that the working was done at the appointed times, but I certainly was challenged. Metatron amazingly planted a “seed of wisdom” inside my soul and Kerubiel taught me how to nurture and empower that seed, telling me not only what it was but how to maximize it, so that it would become the source of my wisdom and compassion. I also was told to re-examine the Gnostic tract Hymn to the Pearl, which I did, and I posted it as a separate article.
A quote from Metatron:
“This is my gift to you, Oh sojourner of the spiritual paths of super-celestial magick. It is the seed of spiritual love and greatest wisdom. Care for it, nurture it with love and your passion for God, believe in it as the link between you and your goal. If you do this, then the seed will open and unveil its glory unto your soul. If you fail, then it shall become a dead thing, which shall embitter and curse your very quest to its source. You must choose your path wisely and carefully so that the gift is a great boon to you instead of a barrier.”
A quote from Kerubiel:
“I reveal this wisdom to you - a great seed has been planted in you, and only the greatest passion and love of God will cause it to open and reveal its secrets. When giving devotions to your godhead, remember the poetry of Rumi, Hafiz and Kabir - and other poetry of the love to God, such as the Psalms. Sing praises to God, whom you love and adore, and the seed will reveal to you its inner most secrets and greatest glory.”
Kerubiel also instructed me to add additional features to the Abramelin Lunar Ordeal. I needed to extract the three final days of the traditional Abramelin ordeal and incorporate them into my own working. This means that I would begin with prayers, atonement purification and fasting starting on December 28 through the day of the invocation of the Bornless One, which is December 30. I was also supposed to perform a macro ritual to reconnect with all eight Seraphim and Cherubim prior to performing the rite of bringing them together into the empowered octagon. Since I didn’t have an excess of time, I decided to pair the Elements together, working on Earth and Water one evening, and Air and Fire the following evening. The results were excellent, so that is how I would recommend that additional pair of workings be accomplished.
The Element of Water brought the aspect of devotion and love of God powerfully into the working, and felt my heart and soul open up and align itself with the targeted Godhead of the Element of Water.
Fourth Weekend - Element of Fire: December 11 & 12. The fourth weekend working was probably the most profound of the four weekends, with the elementary structures of a kind of nascent enlightenment beginning to expand and reveal itself in me. This not to say that I have achieved enlightenment, but that the foundation for it has been established. Seraphiel caused in a profound sense of time distortion, where visions and dreams that I had when a youth nearly exactly 37 years ago were revisited again, and it seemed as if they were happening simultaneously. Rikbiel gave me complete affirmation that my attempt at the Abramelin ordeal would be successful, but that I would be tested even more intensely than I have already been tested. I was acquitted of having delusions about myself or of having questionable motivations about my search for enlightenment. All was in readiness for the next phase of the ordeal.
A quote from Seraphiel:
“Frater Barrabbas Tiresius, we have indeed met before a long time ago in your perceptions, but only moments ago for me. Although which came first is unknown to me, for time is indeed strange and disjointed where I stand.”
And:
“So I have quickened this seed planted in you by Metatron. So it shall grow and expand until it reveals its mysteries to you - soon. Take care to continue to nurture it with good deeds, compassionate intentions and devotions of the love of the Godhead. All will be revealed to you soon enough by my counter part, the Cherub of Fire.”
A quote from Rikbiel:
“These are the ghosts of the future that will be happening soon. They represent the fact that I have appeared to you even before the invocation, due to the weight of having successfully invoked the previous seven of these great angelic spirits. I bless you on this chosen path of the ordeal, and I shall aid you in your quest. It will be another new path opened up for others, for that is what you must do once this ordeal is accomplished. Beware, though, for I must warn you that having passed me, you are locked into this ordeal and cannot turn aside. It must be accomplished, there is no turning back, for madness and self destruction shall overtake you if would deem to quit at this time.”
After these workings were completed, I managed to find the original drawing and posted it with a report that I placed in my blog. I was quite amazed at this phenomenon of time distortion, which occurred with both spirits. With Seraphiel, I was transported back 37 years into my past, and Rikbiel showed me impressions and visions of what was to come. I sensed the coming difficulties, but actually I had no clue what those challenges would be like. What I sensed were like ghosts of time, and the actual future events were still obscured and maintained their mysteries until they happened. Thus there was no way for me to prepare for what was to befall me in the final three days. What I did know was that the ordeal would be successfully completed - I sensed the joy of the moment, but nothing in between.
Fifth Weekend - Solstice Feast and Charging of the Magick Ring. December 19, 20 & 21. This represented a week of rest, since the New Moon occurred on December 16, and the energy of the working began to become quiet and internalized. I performed the ring consecration on the eve of the Solstice proper and sealed the rite with the first rays of the sun on the morning of the Winter Solstice. Unfortunately, it was cloudy, but the ritual produced an intense amount of energy that went into the rings that I had purchased and consecrated for Grace and myself. The rings were wrapped up in purple velour and allowed to incubate for week or so (more than three days).
Between the fifth and sixth weekend I performed a macro ritual to invoke all of the Seraphim and Cherubim by pairs of Elements. On December 23 I performed this rite for Earth and Water, briefly reinvoking all of the Seraphim and Cherubim for that pair of Elements. On December 24, I performed the same macro rite for Air and Fire, reinvoking the Seraphim and Cherubim. I received powerful impressions, visions and communications during both sessions. The first thing that was communicated to me was the name of the Goddess aspect of the Godhead Element of Water, which was Aset-Sophia.
This is what the combined Spirits of Earth and Water communicated to me: “Do not indulge in the sadness and death of the ego. Understand what this actually represents to one on your path. [Here I got a sense to examine the writings of Ken Wilber on this subject - Death of the Centauric level of development.] If you are bereft and overly mourn its passing, then you are greatly in error. Use your alignment to the Godhead to bring joy and bliss to your heart. The only necessary tears are those that are shed for joy and not misery or unhappiness. Don’t be dramatic or make this transition more difficult than it should be.”
This is what the combined Spirits of Air and Fire communicated to me: “You have been thinking about what was missing in your thoughts about the article ‘Magick and the Science of the Impossible’, and it has escaped you. We shall reveal it to you, as a sign of our bond with you in this ordeal. The missing consideration is the mind model which you call the assumption of “As If”.” And also: “The ordeal must remain structured as you have already determined it. For this ordeal is meant to be harsh and difficult, not harmonious and easy to accomplish.”
I had received from the combination of super-archangelic spirits the final pieces of the ordeal, some of which I had neither realized or anticipated when I had initially designed it. This was an indication that the ordeal was shaping and evolving itself, revealing to me the optimal form. This was knowledge that could only be received by one who was undergoing it, showing in its variations and revelations how authentic was this process. If I were faking the whole thing, then everything would have been perfectly pre-determined, with no surprises or additional revelations.
Sixth Weekend - Element of Spirit - Invocation of the Godhead Element of Water and generation of the Ogdoadic Tabernacle: December 26. As a change in plans, I decided to consolidate all of the weekend’s working into a single, therefore performing the Invocation of the Godhead Element of Water, Ogdoadic Godhead Vortex and the Triple Tetrahedral Gate rites in a single evening. This turned out to be both an efficient use of time and it was not tiring or exhausting to me. I also got to experience the full maximization of the manifestation of the specific Goddess aspect that was my key to enlightenment. I even managed to integrate a sigil for both Shadai Al Chai and Aset-Sophia, producing a sigil form that was both fascinating and quite powerful looking. Drawing the eight spirits of the super-archangels together into an octagon of power was both thrilling and climactic. I felt all of the spirits merge together to form a nexus of light, wisdom and power that encircled the Godhead Element of Water, which had manifested as a kind of combination of Aphrodite and Persephone - lover and maiden.
Then the following occurred, as reported in my journal: “At first I saw the four outer pylons as pillars of golden fire, with a larger pillar of blue fire in the center of the circle, with scarlet lines of force marking the cross-roads. The four outer pillars of fire began to bow towards the center pillar of fire until they merged with it, and then there was only one massive pillar of fire, only its color had changed to green with a golden core, and the cross-roads became a deep violet color. This image faded away completely, being replaced by a vision into which I was completely immersed. There was a diffused white light but no details, and in the midst of it all I sensed the super-empowered presence of the Godhead manifest with accompanied sensations of complete awe and astonishment from me.”
Then I experienced a vision into which I was fully immersed. I had no sense of reality around me, only the vision exited for me. I was walking on a beach that was clouded with mist and fog, it was warm and also quite brilliant. I then saw what I presumed to be a manifestation of the Goddess appear before me. I wrote in my journal: “Then a woman came walking forth from the ocean waves, she was obviously thoroughly wet and glistening with salty water. She was neither tall nor short, but seemed around the same height as myself. She wasn’t naked either, but wore some kind embroidered white shift that was wet and clung to her body, leaving her legs and arms naked. She was pale but not exceptionally so, her face was incredibly beautiful. She had long hair that was braided into numerous strands, probably of a light brown, but fitted with golden beads that made it look blonde.”
The Goddess spoke to me, and this is what she said: “I am here and have come, as you desired me so. I have been waiting for you to come for untold aeons. This place, where the water meets the earth is the sacred meeting ground of mortal life and eternal spirit. In this guise that you see me now, I shall aid and help you to complete your quest. That quest is to awaken the God within you into full awareness, so that you and he, and me, might join in eternal embrace. I am your godly muse! Seek me in the days of your ordeal.”
I was deeply haunted by the vision of the Goddess, and she traveled with me as I entered the final three days of the ordeal.
Seventh Weekend - Final Ordeal and Invocation of the Bornless One: December 28, 29 & 30.
Because the Full Moon occurred on the night of December 31, I had to complete the ordeal just before that day, so I had decided to undergo the ordeal from Monday through Wednesday. Therefore, it wasn’t really the seventh weekend, but the seventh major working. The ordeal began at dawn on Monday morning, and I, completely sequestered from the world, proceeded to perform devotions, atonement exercises, fasting, purification, prayers, meditations and contemplations for the entire time, taking only small amounts of time out for personal duties and a few tasks that had to be done (like shoveling show). I even slept in an annex of the temple so as to never be too far from the sacred space.
The final three days tested my resolve like nothing else that I have encountered previously. Somehow during the second day of the ordeal, I had seriously twisted my back and ended up with a very painful and uncomfortable lower back, which seemed quite capable of interrupting the working altogether. I actually did contemplate quitting, but decided not to quit when I realized that such an auspicious time would not be easily repeated. I persevered, determined to complete the working even if I had to use a staff or a cane to get around. In the end, I didn’t need to use any aids. The power itself temporarily healed me so that I was not only able to perform the rite, but I performed it more powerfully and fully than I have ever performed it before. I believe the magick ring helped me, since I put it on and asked for healing energies.
In my journal I reported the following experiences associated with the successful invocation of the Bornless One: “So what has been revealed to me is that the HGA is integral to one’s being and functions as one’s spiritual dimension. What I was seeking and attempting to connect with was always there. When I apprehended this truth, it was so simple and so familiar to me. It was all of the “good” that I have ever felt or shown to others, the love and devotion that I have shown the Godhead, my true spiritual self from infancy to death and beyond. It was such a miraculous and minor thing, always attached to me and a part of me, even though I was unaware of it most of the time. However, I needed to perform this massive and difficult ordeal to get me to detach enough from my mundane preoccupations to become truly aware of it, probably for the first time in my life - although I realized that it had been always there at the very pinacle and edge of my being. As time goes forward from this point of realization, a greater awareness will unfold, teaching and guiding me, helping me to elevate my consciousness in a manner that nothing else could compare. The world has become my teacher, and my HGA is the master guide who will aid me in my lessons of life, death and the Greater Spirit.”
Final Analysis and Summary: The final analysis has to be that the intention nearly always outweighs the mechanism used in a magickal working. If the intention is solid, then the working will be successful. This is true even if the ritual working or ordeal is imperfect or highly flawed. Also, all of the required elements must be expressed in the working, yet the sequence of their expression is not that important. This means that a ritual working can be worked out of sequence and the end results will still be potent and valid. Of course this is not an excuse for shoddy ritual design and poor execution. The better the design and the more esthetic the execution, then the results will be more profound and personally empowering.
This seems to be an important rule in the practice of magick, and it has some amazing consequences. Whether we use the traditional grimoires and lore to perform our magick, or whether we wholly and completely invent it anew, either approach will work if the intent is solid. If the magician understands what he or she is trying to do, and realizes the mechanisms that are needed to trigger deep psychological states of consciousness and so cause a complete transcendental transformation of the personality. I believe that what I have fashioned in this new version of the Abramelin Ordeal is valid and works as advertised. Some of the things that occurred during this working were quite indicative that it was a true magickal ordeal. These can be listed by the following points.
What is required to complete the analysis is that someone else needs to undertake the rituals of this ordeal and perform them, and then compare their results with mine. When several individuals have completed this process, then and only then, will I be able to say definitively that a new system of magick has been developed and proven to work in most cases. I look forward to that day.
What I can deduce almost immediately is that this newly devised ordeal does indeed successfully achieve the same results that the traditional ordeal achieved, which is the knowledge and conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel. So I can say that the new ordeal is efficient, succinct and works quite well. That much I can say without any doubts or confusion - there is now a new way of undergoing this classic ordeal. What can’t be said is that it produces exactly the same results or that it is in any way an analogous working. The Abramelin Lunar Ordeal working is quite different than the traditional Abramelin ordeal working, although I believe that they produce a kind of similar effect on the operator.
Since I have not worked the traditional ordeal (nor can I, even if I wanted to), then I really have little to compare between the two processes, other than what I know about mystical and magickal practices, since the Abramelin ordeal is entirely mystical and devotional. My version of this ordeal is almost entirely magickal, with some elements of the devotional and mystical processes included in its formulation and deployment. These were added while the overall ordeal was being undergone, and were not really part of the original plan. The final mix of magickal workings and mystical devotion produces the correct combination of actions within sacred space that produce the same result as the traditional ordeal. So I can say with some degree of confidence that the lunar ordeal is in its final form. I will certainly rewrite and refine the specific rituals themselves, but the pattern of the ordeal is, I believe, complete.
I also believe that the invocation of the archangel Ratziel was crucial to the ordeal, even though that particular magickal working wasn’t part of the ordeal proper. For those who would want to duplicate this ordeal, it would be a requirement to perform this working as well as all of the rest in sequence. If we consider that the lunar ordeal covers the progression of Earth, Air, Water, Fire and Spirit, then the pre-ordeal working would cover the “Self” and would be part of the process that prepared one for the beginning of the ordeal. I will include this working in the structure of the ordeal, even though I will consider it to be optional. Any magician who elects to undergo this ordeal may perform this working, an alternative working or none.
The ordeal should be broken up into seven sections, starting with the pre-ordeal working, then proceeding through the four elements, Spirit and then concluding with the Abramelin ordeal and the Bornless One invocation rite. I believe that I can make a summary of each section and a final analysis.
Pre-ordeal Working: This working was performed the evening of November 7th. I had to fashion a new sigil, and the results of the invocation of Ratziel gave me the license and the authority to proceed with the ordeal. I received the protection and blessing of Ratziel and used his sigil as a passport in my invocations of the eight Super-archangels. I also concluded that a fast was in order, abstaining from red meat, eating sparingly (except for religious feasts) and adopting a vegetarian diet during the actual weekend workings.
“Ratziel also imparted to me that he had a hand in influencing and inspiring me to formulate this ordeal, even though the credit for doing so is still completely my own. So what this means is that a bit of angelic providence has inspired and guided me to formulate this working. I must admit that I am greatly intrigued, and it would seem that the spiritual hierarchy is in agreement with what I am about to do. ”
First weekend - Element of Earth: Nov 21 & 22. The first weekend working was accomplished without a lot of difficulties and seemed to show that the path of this ordeal was blessed with good intentions and auspicious occurrences. The results of the invocation of Zahriel was joyous and happy, Yophiel was intense, restrained, but gentle and kindly.
A quote from the invocation of Zahriel:
“Joyous existence - the happiness and great innocent pleasure in all of life - even when it seems like a burden to one. I saw a vision of a gaily dressed entity, like the Ghost of Christmas Present in Dickens' story, “A Christmas Carol,” amidst a halo of golden and brilliant lights. I felt all of the goodness that I have ever done for others compressed into a single moment of joyous and ecstatic happiness - an illumination of joyousness! I realized that knowing and being grateful for life was an important foundation to enlightenment, which can’t occur without that sense of gratification.”
A quote from the invocation of Yophiel:
“Devotion consists of the expressed and constant demonstration of the love of the Deity - giving offerings and purely worshiping it. This also includes forgiving the errors and follies of others, as well as giving alms to the poor and supporting one’s spiritual community. One should give either service or money to those who are bereft as a demonstration of spiritual solidarity with the human race.”
So two words that would fully represent this working is “joyous existence” and “devotion - the giving of offerings and worship” - both of these expressions powerfully colored the first weekend working. They caused me to change and modify how I was perceiving my life and how I was perceiving the needs of others. I became a bit of a philanthropist as well as a person who began to realize the beauty and joy of life itself.
Second Weekend - Element of Air: November 27 & 28. The second weekend working was quite difficult, although not as difficult as later parts of the ordeal. I had caught a nasty cold and it affected everything that I attempted to do. It did not stop the second weekend working from being performed, and I managed to experience a fairly rapid recovery, but the sickness colored the second weekend working, even though by the next week, all signs of it were gone. The results of the invocation of Yehoel was mind blowing, causing me to experience a kind of powerful mental expansion. Ophaniel exposed me to the power of judgement that is part of the Cherubim character, I was judged but found of reasonable integrity and intention to be allowed to continue the working. Obviously, if I had been found wanting, the ordeal would have come to grinding halt at this point.
A quote from the invocation of Yehoel:
“Yehoel told me that the true will is discovered through the resolution of parables, riddles, paradoxes and puzzles about the nature of reality, chance (fortune), and inherent capabilities (and flaws) associated with the individual. So the true will is not something that is straightforward, it’s more of a profound personal mystery - one that requires a constant focused inquiry. However, all personal destinies are resolved at the same point - ultimate union with the godhead, whether a person realizes that truth or not.”
A quote from the invocation of Ophaniel:
“You have achieved the midpoint of the working, and the beginning of the really more challenging and difficult parts of the ordeal. The seraphim will inspire you, and the cherubim will challenge you, as you have never been inspired or challenged before. The cherubim are the keepers of the gateway of the godhead and they will test and judge you as either worthy or unworthy. Fulfilling their requirements is extremely important. It must be done with an open heart and a transparent motivation - anything less will cause the ordeal to fail. You will not be able to bring all eight of these super-archangels together without incurring a kind of curse on yourself - so be warned, and prepare yourself!”
So from these two spirits I received wisdom about one’s spiritual will or destiny, and the need to fulfill the special requirements given to me by the Cherubim. As I have indicated, these two entities had a very powerful impact on my workings and permanently altered my attitude and sense of compassion for others.
Third Weekend - Element of Water: December 5 & 6. The third weekend working was more difficult and challenging than the previous two. While I was able to heal myself of the cold I had caught, now my mundane world, particularly my job, presented obstacles to completing the working. I persevered and used the power of my will to ensure that the working was done at the appointed times, but I certainly was challenged. Metatron amazingly planted a “seed of wisdom” inside my soul and Kerubiel taught me how to nurture and empower that seed, telling me not only what it was but how to maximize it, so that it would become the source of my wisdom and compassion. I also was told to re-examine the Gnostic tract Hymn to the Pearl, which I did, and I posted it as a separate article.
A quote from Metatron:
“This is my gift to you, Oh sojourner of the spiritual paths of super-celestial magick. It is the seed of spiritual love and greatest wisdom. Care for it, nurture it with love and your passion for God, believe in it as the link between you and your goal. If you do this, then the seed will open and unveil its glory unto your soul. If you fail, then it shall become a dead thing, which shall embitter and curse your very quest to its source. You must choose your path wisely and carefully so that the gift is a great boon to you instead of a barrier.”
A quote from Kerubiel:
“I reveal this wisdom to you - a great seed has been planted in you, and only the greatest passion and love of God will cause it to open and reveal its secrets. When giving devotions to your godhead, remember the poetry of Rumi, Hafiz and Kabir - and other poetry of the love to God, such as the Psalms. Sing praises to God, whom you love and adore, and the seed will reveal to you its inner most secrets and greatest glory.”
Kerubiel also instructed me to add additional features to the Abramelin Lunar Ordeal. I needed to extract the three final days of the traditional Abramelin ordeal and incorporate them into my own working. This means that I would begin with prayers, atonement purification and fasting starting on December 28 through the day of the invocation of the Bornless One, which is December 30. I was also supposed to perform a macro ritual to reconnect with all eight Seraphim and Cherubim prior to performing the rite of bringing them together into the empowered octagon. Since I didn’t have an excess of time, I decided to pair the Elements together, working on Earth and Water one evening, and Air and Fire the following evening. The results were excellent, so that is how I would recommend that additional pair of workings be accomplished.
The Element of Water brought the aspect of devotion and love of God powerfully into the working, and felt my heart and soul open up and align itself with the targeted Godhead of the Element of Water.
Fourth Weekend - Element of Fire: December 11 & 12. The fourth weekend working was probably the most profound of the four weekends, with the elementary structures of a kind of nascent enlightenment beginning to expand and reveal itself in me. This not to say that I have achieved enlightenment, but that the foundation for it has been established. Seraphiel caused in a profound sense of time distortion, where visions and dreams that I had when a youth nearly exactly 37 years ago were revisited again, and it seemed as if they were happening simultaneously. Rikbiel gave me complete affirmation that my attempt at the Abramelin ordeal would be successful, but that I would be tested even more intensely than I have already been tested. I was acquitted of having delusions about myself or of having questionable motivations about my search for enlightenment. All was in readiness for the next phase of the ordeal.
A quote from Seraphiel:
“Frater Barrabbas Tiresius, we have indeed met before a long time ago in your perceptions, but only moments ago for me. Although which came first is unknown to me, for time is indeed strange and disjointed where I stand.”
And:
“So I have quickened this seed planted in you by Metatron. So it shall grow and expand until it reveals its mysteries to you - soon. Take care to continue to nurture it with good deeds, compassionate intentions and devotions of the love of the Godhead. All will be revealed to you soon enough by my counter part, the Cherub of Fire.”
A quote from Rikbiel:
“These are the ghosts of the future that will be happening soon. They represent the fact that I have appeared to you even before the invocation, due to the weight of having successfully invoked the previous seven of these great angelic spirits. I bless you on this chosen path of the ordeal, and I shall aid you in your quest. It will be another new path opened up for others, for that is what you must do once this ordeal is accomplished. Beware, though, for I must warn you that having passed me, you are locked into this ordeal and cannot turn aside. It must be accomplished, there is no turning back, for madness and self destruction shall overtake you if would deem to quit at this time.”
After these workings were completed, I managed to find the original drawing and posted it with a report that I placed in my blog. I was quite amazed at this phenomenon of time distortion, which occurred with both spirits. With Seraphiel, I was transported back 37 years into my past, and Rikbiel showed me impressions and visions of what was to come. I sensed the coming difficulties, but actually I had no clue what those challenges would be like. What I sensed were like ghosts of time, and the actual future events were still obscured and maintained their mysteries until they happened. Thus there was no way for me to prepare for what was to befall me in the final three days. What I did know was that the ordeal would be successfully completed - I sensed the joy of the moment, but nothing in between.
Fifth Weekend - Solstice Feast and Charging of the Magick Ring. December 19, 20 & 21. This represented a week of rest, since the New Moon occurred on December 16, and the energy of the working began to become quiet and internalized. I performed the ring consecration on the eve of the Solstice proper and sealed the rite with the first rays of the sun on the morning of the Winter Solstice. Unfortunately, it was cloudy, but the ritual produced an intense amount of energy that went into the rings that I had purchased and consecrated for Grace and myself. The rings were wrapped up in purple velour and allowed to incubate for week or so (more than three days).
Between the fifth and sixth weekend I performed a macro ritual to invoke all of the Seraphim and Cherubim by pairs of Elements. On December 23 I performed this rite for Earth and Water, briefly reinvoking all of the Seraphim and Cherubim for that pair of Elements. On December 24, I performed the same macro rite for Air and Fire, reinvoking the Seraphim and Cherubim. I received powerful impressions, visions and communications during both sessions. The first thing that was communicated to me was the name of the Goddess aspect of the Godhead Element of Water, which was Aset-Sophia.
This is what the combined Spirits of Earth and Water communicated to me: “Do not indulge in the sadness and death of the ego. Understand what this actually represents to one on your path. [Here I got a sense to examine the writings of Ken Wilber on this subject - Death of the Centauric level of development.] If you are bereft and overly mourn its passing, then you are greatly in error. Use your alignment to the Godhead to bring joy and bliss to your heart. The only necessary tears are those that are shed for joy and not misery or unhappiness. Don’t be dramatic or make this transition more difficult than it should be.”
This is what the combined Spirits of Air and Fire communicated to me: “You have been thinking about what was missing in your thoughts about the article ‘Magick and the Science of the Impossible’, and it has escaped you. We shall reveal it to you, as a sign of our bond with you in this ordeal. The missing consideration is the mind model which you call the assumption of “As If”.” And also: “The ordeal must remain structured as you have already determined it. For this ordeal is meant to be harsh and difficult, not harmonious and easy to accomplish.”
I had received from the combination of super-archangelic spirits the final pieces of the ordeal, some of which I had neither realized or anticipated when I had initially designed it. This was an indication that the ordeal was shaping and evolving itself, revealing to me the optimal form. This was knowledge that could only be received by one who was undergoing it, showing in its variations and revelations how authentic was this process. If I were faking the whole thing, then everything would have been perfectly pre-determined, with no surprises or additional revelations.
Sixth Weekend - Element of Spirit - Invocation of the Godhead Element of Water and generation of the Ogdoadic Tabernacle: December 26. As a change in plans, I decided to consolidate all of the weekend’s working into a single, therefore performing the Invocation of the Godhead Element of Water, Ogdoadic Godhead Vortex and the Triple Tetrahedral Gate rites in a single evening. This turned out to be both an efficient use of time and it was not tiring or exhausting to me. I also got to experience the full maximization of the manifestation of the specific Goddess aspect that was my key to enlightenment. I even managed to integrate a sigil for both Shadai Al Chai and Aset-Sophia, producing a sigil form that was both fascinating and quite powerful looking. Drawing the eight spirits of the super-archangels together into an octagon of power was both thrilling and climactic. I felt all of the spirits merge together to form a nexus of light, wisdom and power that encircled the Godhead Element of Water, which had manifested as a kind of combination of Aphrodite and Persephone - lover and maiden.
Then the following occurred, as reported in my journal: “At first I saw the four outer pylons as pillars of golden fire, with a larger pillar of blue fire in the center of the circle, with scarlet lines of force marking the cross-roads. The four outer pillars of fire began to bow towards the center pillar of fire until they merged with it, and then there was only one massive pillar of fire, only its color had changed to green with a golden core, and the cross-roads became a deep violet color. This image faded away completely, being replaced by a vision into which I was completely immersed. There was a diffused white light but no details, and in the midst of it all I sensed the super-empowered presence of the Godhead manifest with accompanied sensations of complete awe and astonishment from me.”
Then I experienced a vision into which I was fully immersed. I had no sense of reality around me, only the vision exited for me. I was walking on a beach that was clouded with mist and fog, it was warm and also quite brilliant. I then saw what I presumed to be a manifestation of the Goddess appear before me. I wrote in my journal: “Then a woman came walking forth from the ocean waves, she was obviously thoroughly wet and glistening with salty water. She was neither tall nor short, but seemed around the same height as myself. She wasn’t naked either, but wore some kind embroidered white shift that was wet and clung to her body, leaving her legs and arms naked. She was pale but not exceptionally so, her face was incredibly beautiful. She had long hair that was braided into numerous strands, probably of a light brown, but fitted with golden beads that made it look blonde.”
The Goddess spoke to me, and this is what she said: “I am here and have come, as you desired me so. I have been waiting for you to come for untold aeons. This place, where the water meets the earth is the sacred meeting ground of mortal life and eternal spirit. In this guise that you see me now, I shall aid and help you to complete your quest. That quest is to awaken the God within you into full awareness, so that you and he, and me, might join in eternal embrace. I am your godly muse! Seek me in the days of your ordeal.”
I was deeply haunted by the vision of the Goddess, and she traveled with me as I entered the final three days of the ordeal.
Seventh Weekend - Final Ordeal and Invocation of the Bornless One: December 28, 29 & 30.
Because the Full Moon occurred on the night of December 31, I had to complete the ordeal just before that day, so I had decided to undergo the ordeal from Monday through Wednesday. Therefore, it wasn’t really the seventh weekend, but the seventh major working. The ordeal began at dawn on Monday morning, and I, completely sequestered from the world, proceeded to perform devotions, atonement exercises, fasting, purification, prayers, meditations and contemplations for the entire time, taking only small amounts of time out for personal duties and a few tasks that had to be done (like shoveling show). I even slept in an annex of the temple so as to never be too far from the sacred space.
The final three days tested my resolve like nothing else that I have encountered previously. Somehow during the second day of the ordeal, I had seriously twisted my back and ended up with a very painful and uncomfortable lower back, which seemed quite capable of interrupting the working altogether. I actually did contemplate quitting, but decided not to quit when I realized that such an auspicious time would not be easily repeated. I persevered, determined to complete the working even if I had to use a staff or a cane to get around. In the end, I didn’t need to use any aids. The power itself temporarily healed me so that I was not only able to perform the rite, but I performed it more powerfully and fully than I have ever performed it before. I believe the magick ring helped me, since I put it on and asked for healing energies.
In my journal I reported the following experiences associated with the successful invocation of the Bornless One: “So what has been revealed to me is that the HGA is integral to one’s being and functions as one’s spiritual dimension. What I was seeking and attempting to connect with was always there. When I apprehended this truth, it was so simple and so familiar to me. It was all of the “good” that I have ever felt or shown to others, the love and devotion that I have shown the Godhead, my true spiritual self from infancy to death and beyond. It was such a miraculous and minor thing, always attached to me and a part of me, even though I was unaware of it most of the time. However, I needed to perform this massive and difficult ordeal to get me to detach enough from my mundane preoccupations to become truly aware of it, probably for the first time in my life - although I realized that it had been always there at the very pinacle and edge of my being. As time goes forward from this point of realization, a greater awareness will unfold, teaching and guiding me, helping me to elevate my consciousness in a manner that nothing else could compare. The world has become my teacher, and my HGA is the master guide who will aid me in my lessons of life, death and the Greater Spirit.”
Final Analysis and Summary: The final analysis has to be that the intention nearly always outweighs the mechanism used in a magickal working. If the intention is solid, then the working will be successful. This is true even if the ritual working or ordeal is imperfect or highly flawed. Also, all of the required elements must be expressed in the working, yet the sequence of their expression is not that important. This means that a ritual working can be worked out of sequence and the end results will still be potent and valid. Of course this is not an excuse for shoddy ritual design and poor execution. The better the design and the more esthetic the execution, then the results will be more profound and personally empowering.
This seems to be an important rule in the practice of magick, and it has some amazing consequences. Whether we use the traditional grimoires and lore to perform our magick, or whether we wholly and completely invent it anew, either approach will work if the intent is solid. If the magician understands what he or she is trying to do, and realizes the mechanisms that are needed to trigger deep psychological states of consciousness and so cause a complete transcendental transformation of the personality. I believe that what I have fashioned in this new version of the Abramelin Ordeal is valid and works as advertised. Some of the things that occurred during this working were quite indicative that it was a true magickal ordeal. These can be listed by the following points.
- Structure of ordeal evolved while it was performed,
- Ordeal was dynamic and had a high degree of spontaneity,
- Spirits produced unexpected or unanticipated results,
- Ordeal had corroboration from objective observer,
- Ordeal candidate was challenged, almost to the point of failure,
- Ordeal followed expected patterns for spiritual enlightenment, even though many of those patterns were previously unknown.
What is required to complete the analysis is that someone else needs to undertake the rituals of this ordeal and perform them, and then compare their results with mine. When several individuals have completed this process, then and only then, will I be able to say definitively that a new system of magick has been developed and proven to work in most cases. I look forward to that day.
Frater Barrabbas
