Sexual Fantasy, Magic and Demonic Sex

One of my most popular blog articles of all time is one that I wrote on the Incubus and the Succubus. For some reason this article has gotten the most attention on the internet compared to any other, despite the fact that I have basically dismissed this kind of encounter as a poor surrogate for the real thing - sex with a human lover. I was bemused by this strange popularity and I couldn’t figure it out, until I found by accident that there is a whole cadre of lefthand path magicians (mostly male and typically young) who are advocating and even boasting about these kinds of encounters. Not being a Christian or a member of the Abrahamic faith (nor an avowed Satanist), I find these kinds of sidelines to be strange artifacts of a previous epoch. Really, if it wasn’t for the fact that we live in the post-modern age I would swear that the middle ages are alive and well.

So it seems that getting your kicks from an incubus or succubus encounter is something of a fad amongst some young LHP magicians, and it is even advocated and hotly advertised by someone with the stature of Eric Koetting. I discovered a rather hyped You-Tube video where Eric expounds on the topic of how to have sex with an incubus or succubus. You can find it here. There are, of course, plenty of other examples out there in the Internet (such as the Goetia Girls et al), but I will leave the gratuitous searching to those who are looking for amusement or titillation. This is a subject that doesn’t particularly interest me, most likely because I have found that “real” sex with a real woman is for me much more profound than engaging in some form of mental (or real) masturbation. I would also have to say that a long-term relationship is much more interesting and rewarding in life than some sweaty, quickie grope, grind and release. I am not against sex, and in fact, I am really quite in favor of any kind of “real” sexual encounter that is legal and based on mutual consent.

Don’t get me wrong, I am also a fan of erotica in its various forms, and in fact, my lady and I engage in the sharing and perusal of such media. However, we see it as stimulating fantasies not to be confused with the reality of human sexual relationships. I would suspect that this kind of reality is foundational to all persuasions and types of legal and natural human interactions. Sexual activity can be a great good, and it is also healthy for people to engage in it and thoroughly enjoy themselves. Sex can also be the means to higher states of consciousness, and there is such a thing as sacred sexuality. Since we all have within us an aspect of Deity, then consensual sex between loving individuals takes part in the union of Deities in sacred emulation of the One. That is how I see and personally define sexuality.

Fantasy, and sexuality in the mind, is an important and powerful component of physical sex, as well as many other creative endeavors, such as magic. It is often said that good sex starts in the mind where is it is empowered and amplified over time before it becomes a reality. Some fantasies, though, should probably remain in the mind and not be pursued in physical reality. I will leave that kind of judgement and discretion to the reader to ponder for themselves.

I do admit that I have had powerful erotic experiences in my magical workings, particularly when I have encountered various aspects and manifestations of the Goddess, to whom I am a spiritual and magical devotee. Most of those kinds of events occurred when I was younger and more sexually vital, but it is something that I have experienced in later times. However, that is an encounter with Deity, and the love relationship between the Goddess and myself is an important and powerful part of my spiritual and magical work. It can be inspiring, thrilling and it can even be terrifying, but throughout, it is a component of Deity that I can only experience through my own particular Godhead, or Atman. It is not a surrogate for a real human relationship, and it is not something that I can even talk about in any detail because it is so intimate and profoundly meaningful to me.

Perhaps that is what Eric and other LHP magicians are talking about when they get into discussing their sexual encounters with spirits. Angels and demons have a mythological history of cavorting with human partners, and there are many other examples in the religions of the world today. Still, without the same degree of reverence and sacralization, I doubt that these experiences are the same as what I have experienced. For me it is the conscious realization of the union of human and deity, occurring as it does through the medium of the higher self, or God/dess Within. I now realize that it is a manifestation of my Atman through which I have had powerful visions of sexual union. It produces in me a kind of exalted spiritual ecstasy. Through these experiences the poetry of Rumi, Kabir, Hafiz and others is powerfully acknowledged and realized. I am exalted by these occurrences, but I must also admit that they happen to me without necessarily being sought or pursued. The spiritual lover that Rumi discusses in his poetry is, of course, God, and it is the profound submission to this love that brings forth spiritual ecstasy and the visionary experiences of the highest states of consciousness.

Having had these kinds of experiences, I still sought for a life partner and life-long love, and I feel lucky and grateful that I found her. Receiving the love of the Goddess is a profound experience, but living in a loving relationship with a woman is a profound fulfillment of that spiritual connection. I believe that this is also true for anyone who is a lover, both on a physical and spiritual level, and their beloved, whether of the opposite or the same gender. Love is love, and the freedom to love is the greatest of all freedoms. Yet true love, especially the love of God, requires the lover to submit to that love in order to be exalted. It is a profound paradox, but it is also a great truth.

What I don’t see happening with the LHP obsession with the incubus or succubus is anything remotely like what I have experienced in magic or in life. I have received comments from readers telling me about their passionate encounters with spirits, demons, angels, or whatever, and yet they don’t seem to be exalted, transformed or even fulfilled by the encounter. It makes me sad to read these comments and emails because what it says to me is that there are some very lonely and desperate individuals out in the world who are seeking love and have only found it in their imaginations. They seem to project that imagination somewhat into the physical world, but it is not reciprocated by a real human lover - it remains a shadow of reality. 

I know what it is like to be desperate for love, and I know what it is like to be hurt and betrayed by false lovers. But I find this kind of encounter with a quasi fantasy spirit to be poor and meager fare for the body and soul. Maybe I don’t understand, that’s always a possibility, but maybe the world is full of a lot of lost souls who can’t find real love in any other manner.

Anyway, I can’t judge such individuals because I am not wired in the same manner. What I do believe is that what they are doing and experiencing is not even meaningful to me. It would be like having a romantic evening with a blow-up doll, and not a particularly good one, either. It is just ego inflating and seems like just a form of mental masturbation. I guess that I have failed the test to become a bad-ass LHP magician because I find this kind of activity to be silly and juvenile. Maybe others see it as cool and spunky, but to me it is empty and vain.

I hope some of the folks who have been avidly reading my article on demonic sex will realize that I think it’s not cool and awesome. It is, in fact, nothing more than some moronic juvenile activity that allows those who pursue it an excuse for seeking and obtaining a real relationship with a human being. I rest my case.

Frater Barrabbas

Demon Lovers - Succubi and Incubi

Sweet dreams are made of these
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something


Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics

Two of the more unusual spirits associated with the medieval witch are the succubus and incubus. The succubus is female, the incubus, male, and they’re generally of the variety of demonic spirits that seek sexual union with their victims. In addition to the familiar spirit, the succubus and incubus functioned as either the lover of the witch or as a tool to sexually attack targeted victims. In some cases the alluring powers of the succubus became associated with the witch, and the incubus could be both her familiar and lustful companion. Reports of these two types of demons were often remarked upon when interrogating witches and wizards during the early renaissance. What they actually were (or are) is a matter of debate. They later became mythic themes that, because of their illicit sexual nature, caught the “sweaty” imaginations of prelates and populous alike. Due to their popular nature, they are still to be found, in some form or another, today. Just do a internet search for “succubus” or “incubus” and witness the volume of what you discover.

Curiously, the root word for both succubus and incubus is the Latin verb “cubare” (to lie), where incubus means to “lie upon,” and succubus means to “lie under.” The incubus was known as a demon that would lay upon the body of a woman, causing her nightmares and paralysis. The succubus would somehow get between the sleeping man and the bed and enfold him. These were supposedly demonic entities that were intimately and sexually involved with human beings, representing a unique class of spirits. Where demons usually would possess the body of their victims by inhabiting their soul, an incubus or succubus would consort with their victims, thereby externally draining their life-force. They usually appeared in dream form (at first), causing heightened erotic fantasies, sleep paralysis and nightmares, and often resulting in some kind of unbidden orgasm.

These entities were well known and identifiable targets of exorcism and banishing/blessing rites used by both Christians and Jews starting from the late middle ages. (There was a special section for these demons in the “Malleus Maleficarum.”) Later on, it was said that witches and wizards had demon lovers (but of course!), and that these beings could even take on physical bodies. Still, according to Thomas Aquinas, demons were considered bi-sexual, so the succubus and incubus were interchangeable facades for the same spirit. This inherent reasoning stated that the succubus would consort with men, thereby collecting their seed, and then transform into an incubus, thus injecting the collected seed into a female victim. Perhaps this was a way of explaining nocturnal emissions or unavowed pregnancies due to incest or rape.

A child born of such a supposed supernatural liaison would itself have supernatural qualities. Great heros (such as Gilgamesh) and magicians (Merlin) were reputed to be the spawn of these kinds of spiritual entities. While the incubi were essentially nameless (other than “incubus”), the succubi were explicitly named and associated with various attributes of Lilith. So now we come to the really important core of the mythic image of the succubus-incubus, and that is its association with the ancient she-demon known as Lilith.

Lilith was reputed to be Adams first wife, but she refused to submit to him (a fancy way of saying she refused to lie underneath him). Because of this insubordinate refusal, she was cast out of paradise by Yahweh, who then fashioned Eve as her replacement. Later, she became the consort and mother of demons and preyed upon young children and adolescent males. Lilith was known to the ancient Akkadians and functioned in their spirit list as a kind predatory she-demon, and was later considered one of the demonic queens. Yet as time passed on, she was forgotten by all except the Hasidic Jews, who still put written charms against Lilith on their children’s cradles and beds, and this practice continued well into the early 20th century. The 19th century saw Lilith return in the form of popular culture in Europe, becoming a fallen, romantic and rebellious literary trope. The late 20th century also witnessed Lilith’s elevation to that of a Goddess in some sects of modern witchcraft. I have previously discussed Lilith as being associated with the Nephilim, but that’s another topic for another time.

Succubi and incubi have been morphed into the modern day literary and media vampires, as tempters and temptresses or masquerading as various kinds of illicit supernatural liaisons. They can also be found representing your typical negative and obsessively sexual encounter, whether real or imagined. Unrequited love and sexual obsession seem to be the key to these kinds of themes, and we are today obviously quite fascinated with them. (I wonder what that says about us?)

While there are few examples of the mechanism for summoning an incubus or succubus into manifestation, it would seem that a terribly unfulfilled sexual obsession and a willingness to give oneself up to excess, dissipation and perverse morbidity would readily produce the desired phenomenon. Throw in some strategically placed black candles, then lying down naked in a satanically adorned magick circle in the open “pentagram” posture, while ardently summoning a demon lover, should also do the trick.

As for controlling what was conjured and safeguarding one’s self, such thoughts would be invariably dispensed with altogether, making such an operation quite dangerous (and rather stupid). I might also add that there is a marked difference between formulating a tryst between oneself and one’s satanic godhead (if the magician is distinctly of the LHP persuasion) and inviting an incubus or succubus to take possession of oneself. The former is a liturgical operation of the Left Hand Path, and the latter, a desire for sexual self-destruction.

Lustfully seeking out a demon lover is very likely a symptom of deeper problems and issues. It could very well denote an unhealthy appreciation of sexuality, and perhaps an inability to find a suitable human partner. Unfulfilled sexual hunger, coupled with an innate ability to connect with occult forces or supernatural entities can be a terrible combination imbued with dire consequences. The fruit of such a combination is seldom positive. A modern analog is the seething addiction for online pornography that haunts individuals who are functionally incapable of having a sexual relationship. I know first hand how this kind of addiction can really consume an individual who has lost contact with the real world of human interaction, and it is a bitter and unsatisfying surrogate for a real sexual relationship.

Perhaps an aspect of the modern incubus or succubus can be found within the massive underground commercialization of sex that appears nearly everywhere. Religious conservatives both hate and fear this commercial underworld, and yet seem incapable or unwilling to really stop it. Our overall cultural fear, loathing, shame and fascination of all things perversely sexual gives it enormous power in our media saturated nation. Eliminating the guilt, fear and shame is likely the first step in reducing the power of negative sexuality. Such media sexuality has even invaded occultism and the practice of magick, and it can be found on the internet, along with everything else. (Also, mixing LHP with pornography has gotten quite a following these days, as the ever-popular “Goetia Girls” site has demonstrated.)

Don’t get me wrong, as a pagan I do support a very libertarian approach to sexuality in our society. I am also against any form of censorship or legal intervention that would constrain or curtail the sexuality of consenting adults. However, I know the pangs of unrequited love and the unfulfilled need for sexual release from my early adult years, and I also know that they can produce all sorts of problems, both social and psychological. These internal forces, if not properly dealt with, can even manifest as abusive and self-destructive relationships in the real world. I have witnessed a number of women continuing to engage with their “demon lovers” while being terribly used and abused. I have also experienced some of this abuse first hand from my own demon lovers. Perhaps the succubus and incubus have become social euphemisms for bad and abusive relationships that should otherwise be decisively ended, but are too psychically entangled to be ever terminated. Witness the fact that men or women can free themselves from years with an abusive lover, only to quickly fall prey to yet another abuser.

Fortunately, I have discovered that various levels of spiritual self-love, personal alignment with the Godhead, and matriculating the “Lover Within” can be used as powerful healing tools to eliminate negative relationships and their long term effects. So, too, can being honest about one’s intimate associations, determining what is truly needed and good for oneself,  and most importantly, listening to the warnings of caring family and friends. Breaking cycles of abuse can be powerfully rewarding and uplifting, thereby releasing a person from their own cycle of self-destruction and allowing them to pursue relationships which are progressive and self-empowering.

Enchantresses, enchanters, vampires and vampiresses, and demon lovers of all kinds may seem to be fascinating and powerfully alluring, but they are merely tools for self-destruction. You may toy with them, and you might even have short and intensely pleasing encounters; but if you get hooked by your own hungers and needs, then you will have a very bad time - if you survive. In my opinion, there is no greater mechanism for total self-destruction than the stoking and amplifying of unfulfilled desires. (So, let’s all get it on, be released, and be a lot happier!) You’ve been warned!

Frater Barrabbas