Traditional Witchcraft Covens - Still A Good Idea?

 

My path in Witchcraft has been a decidedly crooked one, and it has been one that would seem to paint traditional initiations and traditional covens as a questionable source for one’s engagement and advancement in its practice. I had a four year tenure in the archetypal “Coven from Hell” back in the late 1970's, where I witnessed my High Priestess and High Priest go over the deep end and assume tyrannical powers over their coven members. I saw two large and well attended covens get whittled down to just a small single coven, and from there, a complete collapse. My former HP and HPs left Witchcraft and became fundamentalist Protestant Christians, and my former HP wrote an infamous book titled “Wicca: Satan’s Little White Lie,” which I have fully debunked in previous blog postings. If anything, my first coven experience was a lesson in occult despotism and the fallacy of self-elected leadership in BTW covens. You can find the first in the series of threads about my experiences here.

My negative experiences with hierarchical coven structures continued when I became a High Priest and elder of an Alexandrian coven in Minneapolis. While I had no interest in functioning as a tyrant in any way imaginable, my partner, Thea, had other ideas in mind. She ran the coven in a despotic manner and made my allegiance and deference to her as a means to bind me while she ran roughshod over the members of our coven. Finally, when the coven had enough of this kind of childish and tyrannical behavior, they had the audacity to confront her about it, with my support. That made her resign her position as leader and to break up with me for not supporting her, even though she was completely in the wrong about how she was treating people. She left the home that I had provided her and officially resigned as High Priestess, while heaping scorn and recriminations on us all. Within a week we had replaced both her and myself with new leaders, but even then, having the power to make unequivocal decisions with little or no input from the coven members, made the new order only slightly better than the old one. Within two years, the coven had disbanded and was no longer functioning.

What these experiences have taught me is that there are problems with the type of leadership that a traditional coven employs, and that it takes very mature and accessible leaders to successfully run a coven that is durable and self-sustaining over time. While such a coven structure can work and be maintained, it is too susceptible to abuse and forms of ego-driven despotism. There are no checks and balances in a hierarchical coven structure, and the High Priestess and her partner, the High Priest, are the sole authority figures in the group. The only recourse that a member has is to leave the coven and either practice alone or form another group. I have found that individuals who have had to leave a coven because of a clash with the leadership often form a new coven that has inherited the same problems as the old coven. They just seem to exchange the old tyrants for new ones, and little is actually learned.

Don’t get me wrong, because there are good covens out there in the various communities that have lasted a long time, but these, unfortunately, are the exception rather than the rule. A good and well functioning coven is hard to find, but they do exist, and I have met a number of fortunate individuals who were members of such groups. It would seem that human nature is such that there is a tendency of individuals who lack personal confidence and who have little power over their lives to seek out positions of power within a coven group and then to rule the members in a tyrannical manner. It is, unfortunately, a problem of structure and human social dynamics that make a traditional Witchcraft coven hierarchy into a microcosm study of human despotism. Wherever you have two unelected leaders assuming power and authority over a group of novices mixed in with very few initiates with no checks or balances on their rule, then the temptation to take advantage of this social situation will be great. If the leaders are emotionally mature and know themselves and their limitations, and have humility and compassion as their ruling principals, then the coven will be managed and guided with wisdom and equality, instead of deceit and delusion. That, of course, is the ideal, but considering human nature, it will fall short of the ideal, or completely miss it.

Democracy is the missing ingredient for coven management, at least in my opinion. It is what has made Blue Lodge Masonry build and maintain lodge organizations that have lasted for generations. Leadership is rotated and decisions for the lodge are made through the artifice of voting. There are, therefore, checks and balances built into the organization. Within a small group like a coven, democracy is established by group consensus, and leaders are rotated or even elected to assume temporary roles within the group. However, an elected leader assumes a role that has certain responsibilities, but the group is ruled by consensus. Leadership roles then have all of the responsibility and none of the power associated with traditional coven leadership roles.

While there are many definitions of consensus, I have found that the best approach for any group decision is that it has a majority of the members in favor with none opposed. That means the group will decide to undertake certain directives and employ individuals to help make them realized, whether formally or informally. A major directive requires a formal vote, and simple decisions can be implemented with an informal vote. Any disagreement would need to be resolved before the group could move forward, regardless of whether the decision was determined by a formal vote or just an informal agreement.

What I am describing here is what I have called a “Star Group,” and I feel that it is the only kind of organizational structure that a small group or coven could assume to ensure that everyone is treated equally and fairly, regardless of individual experience or level of achievement. Each member represents the facet of a group star, and that they come together to forge a unified group with a combined purpose and direction. No one is has any greater authority, value or role significance than anyone else in the group, even despite the differences in knowledge, experience, initiatory achievements or community status - all are equal in the eyes of the Gods. Leaders are chosen to manage and direct certain events and activities, but authority is vested in the group. Leadership roles can be designated and rotated annually, or they can be chosen for specific activities. Everyone participates and there are no divisions or barriers placed between individuals within the group. All decisions are determined by consensus, and everyone has a single equal vote.

Star Groups are the optimal group structures for any small organization that seeks to engage in specific activities in a completely fair, equal and democratic manner. They are not prone to despotic rulership or the exploitation of lesser experienced members by more senior members. They typically have a high rate of individual satisfaction, and they guarantee equal engagement privileges amongst the members of the group. Additionally, they have the ability to resolve differences, or if that becomes impossible, then to formulate new smaller groups out of the old group. A Star Group allows for separations and mergers without having to damage the group or make it ungovernable. It allows for the possibilities of a group to have amicable separations and for groups to continue to grow and evolve over time, something that a traditional coven is not likely to experience. I have found that a Star Group is the only kind of organization that I would join and happily participate in, and that I would avoid, at all costs, either joining or running a traditional coven. That is my predilection based on my personal experiences, and it shouldn’t keep anyone from joining a coven if they so wish.

An initiation into a coven or group is little more than an acknowledgment that the individual who undergoes it is able to assume the obligations and responsibilities that the initiation grade entails. Traditional Witchcraft initiations are typically inner court ceremonies that empower and constrain an individual with oaths, allegiances and the assumption of a role and an identity within the group. Internal transformations can also occur simultaneously, but they are not guaranteed. It is only through an individual practice and discipline that a practitioner can achieve personal transformation and spiritual evolution. A coven cannot provide a member with this kind of achievement, but it can help one to develop a personal discipline and practice, and to guide and show by example what can be achieved through magic rituals and ceremonies. Transformative initiation is guided by both suffering and by ecstatic release, which are symbolized by the scourge and the kiss. Both scripted initiations and transformative initiations are an intimate encounter with the Deities and the individual, where the ordeal of psychic death and rebirth are fully enacted.

Since initiations are so profoundly personal and subjective, and they require a level of trust and intimacy that is beyond mere friendship, it must happen in an environment that is free of fear, coercion, and that can allow for the full empowerment and temporary ascendancy of the initiate. A badly run coven will likely be unable to provide this kind of environment to its members who undergo initiation, making the possibility for a true transformation impossible. Initiation ceremonies in such a group are performed not for the benefit of the member, but for the edification of the leaders, to enable them to assume greater power over the candidate. Therefore, real growth and transformation requires an equable social arrangement in the coven for it to occur, and lacking that will certainly make such an achievement much more difficult. If it happens at all it will be through the individual practice and discipline, and if that activity is prohibited by the coven leaders, then there would be little reason to persevere in such a group. 

I discuss scripted and transformative initiation in my book on the subject, and it goes into much greater detail. If you wish to investigate deeper into this subject, then I would recommend my book, "Transformative Initiation for Witches," and you can find it here.

My advice to anyone who wants to form a coven or who is seeking to join one is to always to get to know the individuals in the group before making a commitment to join. If someone wants to start a coven, then I would advise them to ensure that there is some kind of consensus and rotating leadership positions installed in the group instead of assuming the role of authority figures regardless of one’s level of maturity or motivations. I believe that a traditional coven structure is too easily abused, and it readily leads to tyranny, coercion, and the exploitation of its members. Not all traditional covens are so corrupt, but the only way to find out is to cautiously get to know the leaders and engage socially with the members. Beware of coven leaders who seek potential members to quickly decide on whether to join or not, or who have sequestered the members from engaging socially with a prospective entrant. There are no NDA legalities binding members from speaking to outsiders, and if such a rule is in place, then you would be well advised not to join that group.  

We all need to protect ourselves from exploitation and the social tyranny of bad groups and organizations. The only solution is group consensus and rotating leadership roles. Our path in the art of Witchcraft magic is difficult and arduous enough without having to deal with unelected authority figures and social exploitation within a magical or Witchcraft group. A badly run coven could potentially thwart a true seeker and push them back into a mainstream religious faction, or make them into cynical critic of all things pagan and magical. Those of us who are knowledgeable and are initiates have a responsibility to those who are just starting out to give them whatever aid and assistance we can and to also respect them as human beings with an equal right to be a seeker as anyone else. We should be open, accessible and willing to share with others who might find a great value in following the path of magic and paganism. Starting out on such a socially divergent path is a very difficult decision to make, so we who already know should do what we can to help make that decision both rewarding and fulfilling.

Magical and pagan seekers are rare, especially those who try to make it their life’s path, so the least we can do is to be encouraging, respectful and friendly to them.

Frater Barrabbas

 

 

 

 

Path of Future Literary Works

 

This year, 2023, has been a banner year for me regarding writing and publishing books. By next August all five books of the “For Witches” series will be in print, and I will also have a beginner’s book published as well (“Mastering the Art of Witchcraft”). Additionally, my publisher has signed contracts with me to republish my first two books, “Disciple’s Guide to Ritual Magic” and “Mastering the Art of Ritual Magic” and these will be back in print sometime next year. I also submitted the manuscript for my first grimoire, entitled “Liber Nephilim” and that book will begin the editing process next month. I expect that book to be in print before the year is out for 2024. In the list of these books is also one my crowning achievements, the Llewellyn title “Magical Qabalah for Beginners” - a book that is not really for beginners. By the time of the Winter Solstice, I will have ten books in print, four with Llewellyn, and six with Crossed Crows Books. That is an accomplishment that I thought would never occur, but it will soon be a reality. I also realize that what I have accomplished took a lot of time, research, writing, editing, revisions, and a lot of effort. I started writing my books in 2006, so that is an investment of 17 years.

Meanwhile, those who have been reading my blog for the last several years know that I have a lot more ritual lore and material than what I have written to date, and it will be at last time to begin to assemble that material into manuscripts, and from there, hopefully, into published books. I suspect that my current publisher will want to publish some of these ideas, but others I may have to self-publish, and I will do that so that all of this lore is made available to my reading public.

Since I have covered all of the lore, rituals and ceremonies associated with the basic and intermediate stages of the development of a pagan or witch who also is a practicing ritual magician that part of my work is completed. All of these books, except Liber Nephilim, represent what I believe someone needs to know in order to function as an intermediate to advanced ritual magician. Liber Nephilim is the first step of what I consider to be my more advanced ritual and magical lore. It is the first of its kind from my hand, but it represents only the first of nine additional books that I can assemble and write into publishable manuscripts. I have been practicing magic since I was a teenager, and the period of the 1980's through 2012, a period of over thirty years, was spent developing several advanced systems of ritual magic. Now that I am getting old and in the autumn years of my life, it becomes important for me to be able to publish the rest of this material so that others can possess and make use of it. It will be my legacy to the Wiccan and Pagan ritual magicians of my day, and perhaps it might find utility with others over the decades past the time when I am just an obscure footnote in history.

What I would like to do is to outline these future books so that you might apprise them and perhaps even make your opinion known to me through a message or an email. I haven’t actually decided on the order of the book projects, so you could also tell me your preference, and if enough people want a certain book project to be published sooner than later, I will take that under advisement.

Here is my list of eight projects that I would like to develop and publish as books for my magical colleagues to ponder and consider. I will seek to get them into manuscript form in the next three years or so and seek to have them published. I am hoping that by 2027, all of these books will be in print and available to whoever wants them. I am also hoping that this ambition on my part will at least get my ritual magician colleagues to examine and perhaps even attempt to adapt and perform some of these more advanced ordeals. That is my hope, but just helping to advance the ritual technology of western magic would be most satisfying.  

Abramelin Lunar Ordeal - I have always admired the Abramelin Ordeal, which is a severe meditative and liturgical based working that lasts from either one year or 18 months, depending on the version followed. It requires complete sequestration for a period of either one to three months, and that means that the adherent must retire from the world for that period of time. The ordeal consists of long periods of prayer and meditation, and requires a prepared room with a sand floor, casement windows, and other strict practices. All of these practices are performed with the singular purpose to invoke and manifest one’s Holy Guardian Angel. While I was intrigued with the outcome, the process seemed nearly impossible for me to consider because I had to work a regular job and couldn’t take the time off to properly perform it.

However, as a Witch and one who is more oriented to the moon, I was able to develop a lunar-based ordeal that lasted only 1.5 lunar cycles or around 40 days. Because the period was so abbreviated, I had determined that the time allotment needed to be filled with intense magical activity. So, the first four weekends were spent fully invoking the four Seraphim and the four Cherubim combined, which I considered to be super-archangels. Then, merging these eight powerful angels into a matrix, I summoned their godhead equivalents for each of the four elements, and fused them together into a powerful vortex with a triple tetrahedral gate structure. Upon this magical edifice, I performed the Bornless or Headless rite, revised with the four Qabalistic Worlds arranged as a step pyramid, where a revised invocation of my personal godhead was performed.

I had gone back to the PGM and extracted additional magical workings to go with the Bornless or Headless invocation rite, and added a magical ring consecration rite, assumption of great powers and an envisioning rite. The final working was the Alchemical Hierogamy Rite of Union, a magical rite based on the Rosicrucian alchemical wedding of Christian Rosencruetz.  All of these rituals were assembled to be part of what I have named the Abramelin Lunar Ordeal, and I performed them in 2009. It was an amazing ordeal, and it unlocked for me the mysterious magic squares found in the Book of Abramelin the Mage. While this ordeal can be worked in place of the traditional ordeal, it will undoubtedly produce different results, although the overall purpose and outcome are similar. I have articles, diary entries and the rituals already assembled into a folder. All I need to do is to pull it together into a manuscript with revisions, annotations and explanations. I believe that I could put together a manuscript in a couple of months, since most of the work is already done.

Liber Nephilim Additum - I have already submitted the manuscript for Liber Nephilim, but in writing this book, I left a lot of ritual lore out of this edition because it would have made the book too large and unwieldy. What was left out was the Enochian Ordeal of the 49 Bonarum, where I invoked seven of the Bonarum and pulled them together into a vortex to invoke the 8th, which was Camara, in a ritual named the Septagramic Vortex Gate ritual. That whole part of the Enochian ordeal was not included in the first book. Then there is the Enochian Mystery Vortex, mentioned several times but excluded from the first book. Additionally, there were the invocations of Seth and Enoch, the evocations of Ramat’el, Turiel, and Samael as Shaitan, and their associated diaries. This book would provide all of the material that was developed, used, and explored in the overall Nephilim working. I believe that providing this additional set of ritual lore and discussions about the Bonarum as the binary planetary intelligences, and how to invoke them and their overall psychological impact. Assembling and writing this manuscript would take only around three months, so it would also represent a task of refining and revising the ritual lore omitted from the first book. Both books together would supply the complete set of ritual lore to perform and replicate the Nephilim working.

These two books would represent my submissions for 2024, although there a more possibilities sitting around on my hard drive from workings that I have done previously.  

Talismanic Portae Lucis working: After developing and performing the Abramelin Lunar Ordeal, I became acquainted with a magical ordeal and process that quite intrigued me. I am referring, of course, to the writings and teaching of the late Jean Dubuis, who was a French occultist, alchemist and magician. His system of magic combined spagyric forms of alchemy with astrological magic and the Qabalah. A central magical operation within Mr. Dubuis’ occult system was a process whereby a person could achieve a direct connection and report with powers and intelligences of the Supernal Triad. He called this the Experience of Eternity, and it was a necessary step for a magician to achieve the proper connection and linkage with his or her higher self. It seemed like a logical step from gaining the knowledge and conversation with one’s Holy Guardian Angel.

I studied his ordeal named “Portae Lucis” and discovered that I could replicate this ordeal using revised lore for working talismanic magic that I already possessed. His various practices and the use of spagyric alchemy seemed of lesser importance when compared to the crafting of powerful talismans that would represent the charged empowered representations of the Qabalistic Sephiroth of Yesod (Moon), Tiphareth (Sun) and Binah (Saturn) representing the pathway of the gateway of light to the supernal triad. What I proposed to do instead of the passive talismanic workings and the various ancillary practices, including the creation of spygyric alchemical medicines, was to forge these talismans with each of the four element configurations of a specific planetary talismanic elemental spirit, using a metallic talisman associated with the planet. Each planetary talisman would thus contain each of the four elements of four specific talismanic elementals, thereby supercharging them as tools in building the gateway of light. In addition, I also generated a fourth talisman of Mercury to represent myself and the magical (Hermetic) process that I was seeking to manifest.

After generating these four super-charged talismans, according to the rites and time-line of the lunar mansions, I was prepared to perform the final working on the auspicious hour of the sun on the day of the Summer Solstice, when the light had achieved its maximum power. The working produced extraordinary results, and it was very successful, showing that a magical idea or ordeal concept can be developed in a number of different ways. It was an amazing ordeal, and one that I documented in my magical diaries. While some in the occult community were surprised and pleased with my approach, the traditionalists fiercely condemned and discounted the working. Later on, I managed to generate the three remaining super-charged metallic talismans and then built a magical machine that could produce any amount of material manifestations for me, and it has served me quite well during the years since I produced them.

All of the ritual lore, documentation and diaries for this working, and the extended workings covering the three additional talismans, and the creation of a magical machine would be part of this book. It would require me to assemble this material, revising and editing it, and produce a manuscript, but I believe that it would take only four months to complete this book project. I think that the occult community would find my approach to this working to be clear, modern and succinct. I would stipulate that it would not produced the exact results that the original ordeal would produce, but it would still be representative because it seeks to achieve the same results overall.

Other book projects that I am contemplating would represent workings that I developed and performed decades ago. They are still quite relevant today, and they represent the advanced workings and lore of the magical order that I helped to found. The advanced workings were completely my invention, and they were brought into the workings of the order because they had been developed in the 1980's and 1990's, and into the early 2000's.

Ordeal XV - the workings of the Gnostic Tetrasacramentary, consisting of the liturgical and magical workings of Thelema, Agape, Eros and Thanatos. These rites would include the specific Gnostic Mass with Benediction exerps, a Gnostic seasonal calendar, evocation rites of the specific Gnostic Avatar, and then the set of four rites of the Tabernacle of Sothis and the associated Black Rite. Other rites of sacramentation would include baptism, marriage, requiem, confirmation and holy orders. These rites would represent the complete set of workings associated with the four different Gnostic systems of religious magic.  This Ordeal is thus named because of the joining of the octagram and the septagram to generate a spiritual being able to represent a system of Gnosis, thereby becoming its avatar. It is also the number of the tarot card The Devil, which represents the powers associated with initiation. A performance all four of these sets of workings would fully activate their own gnostic magical powers to manifest these philosophies and their visionary impact into the material world. These are the liturgical and magical workings of a true Gnostic Priest or Priestess.

Art and Practice of Archaeomancy - this is a system that I developed over twenty years ago, but it represents the very cutting edge of magical workings.

The word Archaeomancy is one that I coined in the obscure magickal fellowship of the Order of the Gnostic Star and means the “magick of the source” (ἀρχή - arche - principle, origin; and - μαντεία - manteia - prophetic power). The art of Archeomancy is defined as the magical ritual method of exploring the Qabalist Inner Planes. These Inner Planes have many various definitions. Because of this difference, there are two methodologies that I developed. The first is the Archaeomancy of the 40 Qabalistic Worlds, where the inner planes are defined as the ten Sephiroth of the Qabalah, as superimposed through the four Qabalistic worlds. The combination of the Qabalistic Pyramid of Power and Enneagram Invocation rite combined with a double gateway would allow one to freely pass into the Qabalistic Inner Plane domain to gain visions, insights and to accrue and manifest its powers into the material world.

The second is the Archaeomancy of the eighteen Qabalistic Dimensions. The dimensions are the triangular shapes that exist in the Tree of Life structure that are outlined by the Sephiroth and the pathways. In addition, the Enochian ordeal workings defined the angular vectors of the paths and Sephirah as being the locations where the Aethyrs resided, where instead of 30, there were 56. These triangular dimensions were interior spaces in the Tree of Life that held profound transformative powers. I managed to develop the ritual lore to enter into two of the lowest of these dimensions, and my experiences were extremely profound. The inner and most secret teachings of the spiritual Qabalah are to be found in the dimensions, and entering one of them allows the wisdom of them all to be revealed. What I experienced so inexplicable that I can hardly describe them here, but for a Qabalistic magician, these workings represent the very height of what might be realized.

Both systems of magic were described and developed from the Enochian ordeals that I performed in the early 1990's associated with my Nephilim workings. I have diary notes and details to back up the event of these workings. All of this lore, documentation and some diary entries would be included in the manuscript that I would pull together.

Two other ordeals that I developed and performed during the late 1980's and then the late 1990's were the Ordeal of the Four Gnostic Temples, and the Ordeal of the Stellar Seven-Rayed Gnosis. These ordeals represent the ritualized challenges of self-initiation by ordeal of the Sixth and Seventh Degrees, respectively.

The Four Temples, or Tessarenoi, were performed to generate a living particle from the four-fold vortex spinning black-hole gateway opening into four different universes based on the tetrasacramentary in Ordeal XV. Each of these particles represented a living sacramental attribute of the godhead of a Gnostic sacramental system or universe, and could be used to powerfully sacralize material objects, and to act as a manifested source of godhead in the material world. I experienced them as alchemical stones that produce intense transmutations.

The Stellar Seven-Rayed Ordeal is the means to establishing a conduit of the fifth Gnostic sacramental system, which is symbolized by the Star, or more specifically, the Gnostic Septagram of the Seven Qabalistic Rays. Performing this rite would give the operator the ability to channel the seven sacramental virtues into the material world, transforming that individual into a fully empowered hierophant, a master of the spiritual and material worlds. These two ordeals, Four Temples and Seven-Rayed Star could also be assembled and made into manuscript books, to be published, depending on the need and desires of my reading public.

Rites and Ceremonies of the Order of the Gnostic Star - If I actually managed to get into print all of the above books, which would be a total of seven books, then I should also assemble all of the rest of the lore of the magical Order of the Gnostic Star, and publish it as well. What that would do is place into the hands of any knowledgeable and experienced occultist the ability to form their own magical lodge based on the rites and Gnostic liturgies of my magical order, without having to consult with me or anyone else. The material would be out there for anyone to use, and if someone really wanted to formally assemble a group then they could write me and get my imprimatur and recognition. Otherwise, they would be free to use this material in whatever manner they might wish, forming a group or working solitary. This lore would contain the initiations, the seasonal and lodge based ceremonies, the workings of elemental and talismanic magic, the Grail mysteries and their associated rites and ceremonies, and the overall philosophical perspective of a pagan-based Gnosis that is world affirming and nature oriented, instead of the antinomian tendencies of Gnosis in antiquity and in some circles in the present times.

A final literary endeavor would be to write up my biography. I have been writing this text for some time, but I am behind and need to catch up to the present. I am not done with my magical research and practices, so there would be more to add to it before it would be printed (I hope). I also have a biographical piece about my experiences with the Coven from Hell, or my four formative years with the Schnoebelens, who abandoned Wicca and the practice of high magic to become fundamentalist preachers. My four years in that group is an eye opener, for certain, and it was written as a response to Bill’s book “Wicca: Satan’s Little White Lie”, which I found to be full of falsehoods and misrepresentations, although also revealing things about Wicca that made it seem diabolical. I posted this work in five parts on my blog, but I would like to eventually publish it.

So, that is the full set of writing and publishing that I would like to do in the next few years. I am not certain if my current publisher would be on board with all of these projects, so I might have to self-publish some of them. I feel that this work is important and should be shared with the greater occult community, so I will work towards getting it in print in some manner for the sake of posterity, and to ensure that this lore is not lost when I finally depart this world forever.

Frater Barrabbas

Inner Plane Contacts and Creative Fever

This is another autobiographical piece written by me. Since I had told the story about what happened to me just before I joined the Coven from Hell, I wanted to relate what happened to me after I quit, four years later. That time period was very important for me, since it was when I had laid the foundation of the magickal system that I use today.

 

Sometime between 1977 and 1978, while I was engaged with the Coven from Hell, I discovered a powerful occult contact that greatly inspired all my occult abilities and insights, and fueled a creative burst in my soul that lasted for decades. I had entered the coven with some new ideas and concepts, but they weren’t worked out or vetted in any fashion. I also possessed and used a rather cumbersome and ineffective personal system of magick, which then underwent a complete transformation. Allied with an effective occult background, generously supplied to me through numerous books and the teachings of my High Priest and High Priestess, I was rapidly rewriting my personal magickal system during that four year period. The older Atlantean tropes were being dropped and replaced with a Golden Dawn and Thelemic hybrid system, and I was undergoing an intellectual metamorphosis, progressing through a magickal and spiritual evolution that was breathtakingly fast. It was as if I had been intellectually dormant for years, and then suddenly fully awakened.

As I look over my notebooks and ritual files from that period, I can see the birth of the system of magick that I use today. By the time I had reached the end of my term of membership with the Coven from Hell (1980), this new system was ready to be fully written and deployed. I consider myself quite lucky that I had continued my work and was nominally independent of Christopher Syn and his lady, Alexandria Pendragon (Bill and Sharon Schnoebelen) even before I decided to leave. My final break with that group occurred just prior to the beginning of the most creative period of my magickal career. It would seem to me today that somewhere during that time, I had achieved a truly splendid inner plane contact with some godhead, inner master or inspired genius. I only later found out who that Deity was, but for years it drove me to ecstatic heights that I hadn’t even dreamed existed. Ironically, once I was fully divorced from the Coven from Hell, that inner plane contact flowered and pushed me to new frontiers of magickal knowledge and expertise. The rapid progression was quite thoroughly documented by me, because I left behind a mass of papers, notebooks, rituals, drawings and illustrations. Many of these papers are now kept in various file folders, overflowing a large black filing cabinet. These papers represent a paper trail of the transition that I made from an imaginary occult system to one that was based on real occult principles.

So the year 1980 was very pivotal for me, since it was the dawning of the time when I would forge the magickal system that I use today. Not only that, but that magickal system also became the blue-print for the rites and ceremonies for the Order of the Gnostic Star. Unbeknownst to me, I was already starting to configure the grade system of the Order when I was still a member of the coven, choosing to use a gnostic version of the apostolic succession as its initiatory backbone instead of a Masonic one. As the year progressed, I had reached the end of my friendship with Christopher and withdrew as a member of his dwindling cult. The dark times were already starting to begin for me and for other members who had recently left, and I felt the need to escape from this group whose collective fantasy no longer held any meaning or significance for me. As I said in my long autobiographical piece about Bill Schoebelen and his Coven from Hell, I simply woke up one day highly disgruntled and decided to quit.

“How I left the group was really simple, I stopped going to their gatherings and functions, starting in June, 1980. I had to see Bill three or four times a week at work, which was unfortunate, and I began to really loath and despise this man. I also saw that my coworkers made fun of his posturing and pontificating, and I joined in with them. I had lost all respect for Bill and my adulation for him was forever destroyed. It was the end for me, but I did mange to pass out of his life in a blaze of glory. I wrote him a letter that was filled with the truth, and it was quite a bitter and harsh critique and rebuke of Bill and his ways. Because of this ‘missive’, Sharon supposedly worked some black magick on me, seeking to protect her husband from his once close friend and now mortal enemy. I imagine that she focused together all of her anger, wrath and hurt, and forged a pretty formidable death spell that she then sent against me.”

Actually, the period when I had assumed that Sharon had put a death curse on me happened later than that date (July 1980), just after the Christmas holiday of 1980. I ran into Bill at the garage where our company kept its paper delivery trucks, and he effusively wished me a merry Xmas and a happy New Year. Of course, since I despised this man, I coldly ignored him, rebuffing his attempts at breaking the ice with me. It was a snotty thing for me to do, but then again, I had taken so much of Bill’s condescension and assumed superiority that I was no longer able to tolerate any contact with him. I had left his group in June, wrote the letter to him in late July, and had to continue to see him for the next five months or more. I didn’t have the opportunity to work out my issues and perhaps forgive him for all of the hurt that I had received. I just wanted him to leave me along and let me pass out of his life, and I felt Bill wasn’t really willing to allow that to occur. So after I had given him the cold shoulder in response to his Xmas greeting, I felt that something had strategically changed between us. A darkness descended on me, and I sensed that I was being targeted with some rather nasty black magick.   

“A current member of the coven who was also a close friend of mine alerted me that Sharon had announced her intention to kill me, and I on the other end of that spell did feel a great darkness descend upon me; but it passed me by after a few months, since I laid low and did nothing to aggravate it.  But my remorse and guilt for my behavior in the group and my fall from grace had far outweighed the impact of any deadly curse, in fact it made the curse darker and more bitter still. At that point [late winter 1981] I had lost my driver’s license, lost my job (I was a driver for the morning news paper), and had to move back in with my parents. I had gotten my college degree, but there were no jobs. This was because by the autumn of 1980, there was a bad recession ruining the economic landscape, quelling the buoyant economy of the late 70's, and it only got worse in 1982. Perhaps these trials were the result of Sharon’s death curse or just my bad luck. I felt sad, full of darkness and bitter, but I didn’t die. Instead I got to deal with my darkness the old fashioned way, by [facing it and] striving through it.”

Some other important events of 1980 had the effect of rehabilitating me, and giving me a completely new perspective on my magickal career. I started hanging out with the rest of those who had either quit, like me, or got kicked out of the coven. We were the dissenting forces who warned others of the inherent trap of dealing with Bill Schnoebelen and his cult. I also began to meet other witches and occultists in town who I hadn’t even known existed. I had thought that Bill’s coven was the only one in town, and both Bill and Sharon had warned their members to avoid making contacts with other folks in the witchcraft and pagan communities. In early August, I attended my first pagan festival, which was the Pan Pagan Festival of 1980. There, I met the various movers and shakers of the pagan and witchcraft movement from all over the country. It was a very eye opening and awakening experience. I realized then how much of a fraud Bill was, and that his various posturing and pompous mater-of-fact statements about magick and witchcraft were either dead wrong or terribly inaccurate. I discovered that I had a lot of un-learning to do in addition to exploring and experiencing completely new perspectives.

Pan Pagan introduced me to wonderful people. I got know and become friends with Gwydion Penderwen, and even played my flute at his festival concert. I also befriended Lugh McGhee and many others. But two witches that I met there who were also from Milwaukee were to become the most important friends that I would meet at that time. In fact, they are still two of my best friends to this day. They were Keith and Anita, and our meeting was actually quite comical.

I chose to accompany a couple of women friends to the festival (who were also cast offs from an affiliate coven of the Coven from Hell) and camp with them, since it would be more economical to do so. However, these women had never camped before and were clueless of what was required for a weekend camping experience. I organized all of the equipment and supplies that would be needed, and stacked it all neatly next to the car, and they packed it away into the vehicle. For some reason or another, the tent posts weren’t packed, even though I had strategically placed them so they would be packed. When we got to campground, I discovered that the tent posts were missing, so I had to use nearby trees and some rope to help hold up the tent. While I was attempting to get the tent tied up, my neighbors were finding the whole mission quite entertaining. I was being laughed at, and it pissed me off. I went over to the couple who were neatly camped next to me and had an exchange of words with them, but they invited me to share their wine and smoked Gouda cheese (I was starving) and that quickly mollified me. That couple was Keith and Anita, and I found their company to be warm and enjoyable for the next couple of days. We exchanged phone numbers and other information, and they invited me to contact them when I got back home, which I did.

The rest of the festival was also quite amazing and very rewarding for me, even though Keith and Anita had to leave the festival before it ended. What I discovered there, and also later, was that my burning creativity needed some outside challenges in order to keep me balanced. I had a lot of creative and insightful ideas, but I also had a lot of misinformation and outright bullshit in my head, too. What Keith and Anita did, and why their friendship was so important, is that they made me accountable to myself and to others. If I said something to them emphatically, and it made their bullshit detectors go off, they had no problem telling me what they thought. Anita was pretty direct (being the no-nonsense person that she was), but Keith would eagerly warm up to a verbal debate by mockingly gazing at me, raising an eyebrow, and saying, “Is this true?” When he said those three words, I knew that I had just said something that was, in his opinion, patently false. Most of the time, he was right. I have found it a pleasant experience in the long years of our friendship on those few occasions when I have actually proved him wrong.

Over time, I learned to be more cautious and discriminating with my beliefs and opinions. One of the really bad habits that Bill had fostered in me (and others) was a kind of absolutism. He would say things, even things that sounded crazy, and we had to believe it was true. He had no tolerance for anyone challenging his words or authority, so he had a free pass with the group, and took advantage of it. For a while, I had also taken on the trappings of an absolutist, and Keith made certain that I learned to be accountable, since anything I said could (and sometimes, would) be challenged. My friendship with Keith and Anita was kind of tough sometimes and perhaps even a bit harsh, but I knew that they loved me, valued my friendship and even respected me. In treating me this way, they showed a kind of important tough love, and it demonstrated that they cared enough to tell me their opinion, completely unfettered. It was strong medicine, but after four years of the delusions of the Coven from Hell, I sorely needed it. My brother and some of my friends who had also quit the coven gave me their opinions about what I had experienced and what they thought of Bill and his wife, Sharon.

Some other events that happened to me that year and the next were softened by the strong friendship and powerful allies that I had acquired. I wasn’t alone with my thoughts, and that helped me out a great deal. Still, my luck and fortunes continued to tank all during this period. I had to move back in with my parents in the Autumn of 1980, and had to deal with the humiliation of not being able to find a job after I had graduated from college. There were two back-to-back recessions, in 1980, and 1982, and both of these events conspired to make my start in life very difficult indeed. In the winter of 1981, I lost my drivers license for sixty days and had to quit my job driving a delivery truck for the Milwaukee Sentinel. At least I no longer had to deal with Bill and his nonsense, but I also was stuck at home most of the time and was fairly broke. My parents went on a long vacation that winter and left me in care of the house, so I had a lot of time alone to work on my occult studies and even practice some magick in a temporary temple setup in my parent’s den. After sixty days, I quickly got my license back, but I was a very cautious driver from that point on. I also had to settle for a job as a janitor, since there were few jobs available at that time. I worked as a janitor from that time to the winter of 1983.

During this time, the various dissidents from the old coven came together to form a new coven, which we called Satyria. This was an old teaching coven that I had previously run when I was an active member of the coven (1976 - 1977), but Bill and Sharon made me close it down (so it wouldn’t compete with what they were doing). We managed to initiate some new people and completed the training and initiations of some of the older members, but I think that we were all burned out on attempting to do things as a coven, and after a year or so, the coven formally disbanded, but we would continue to socialize and meet with each other until many of us moved to other parts of the country. I guess you could say that we were all haunted by the Coven from Hell, and couldn’t get over its negative shadow and dark influences. We had some fun times together, but then we would end up talking about our past experiences, and then the enjoyment would be tempered by guilt, outrage and a mutual dislike of Bill and even Sharon.

Things were not particularly happy for me at this time, and I felt the guilt and ill will associated with my four intense years in the Coven from Hell. I decided that I had to do something to completely break all spiritual and magickal ties with Bill and Sharon. I was replacing my old system of magick and witchcraft with a new system, and I had abandoned everything that my former teachers had given or taught me, except of course, what I had learned on my own. In the late spring of 1981, I stayed over at friend’s house and performed a triple invocation of Lucifer, Shaitan and Awaiz, combining them into a three part Godhead that I called PAN. The purpose of this rite was to completely break my connection with the egregore of the Coven from Hell and to remove any nefarious influences or negative magick off of me. To ensure that I would be completely and wholly immersed in the magick, I also took five hits of LSD in the form of windowpane. Needless to say, I was powerfully in the grips of that drug trip for hours, and in fact, it lasted the whole night and into the morning. I worked these very dark rites and completed them just before the sun came up. I got to witness the brilliant winter morning and the sun shining upon me in all its glory. I was like a new dawn for me, and in fact, it was. I recall actually being able to function and perform all of the invocation rituals during that ordeal, but I would certainly not ever do such a thing again, and I wouldn’t recommend it to any else. In fact, I believe that was my last trip using such harsh hallucinogens, and from then on, I would only use natural and organic drugs, and then, very rarely.

That powerful ritual working really helped me break the evil spell that the Coven of Hell had cast over me and my spiritual path. Yet the damage had already been done, and it would take me another couple of years to completely overcome all that had occurred. The magickal working had the power to break the illusion that I was surrounded by darkness, and it also completely nullified the curse that Sharon had placed on me. To this day I wonder about the impact of that working and what it might have done to Bill and Sharon, since any kind of spell reversal will have some kind of blow-back effect on the sender and their associated clients. It was in 1984 that Bill and Sharon converted to fundamentalist Christianity, and prior to that they had broken away from witchcraft, magick and the occult, perhaps as early as 1982. It would seem that maybe my act of reversing the spell had the effect of frightening and forcing Bill and Sharon from their occult connections and pushing them into the arms of conservative Christianity. I will never know the real truth, but it does seem like an interesting coincidence.

I wrote to all of the friends that I had made at the Pan Pagan festival, and visited those who lived close to me. I traveled to Madison to visit with Lugh, and I would hang out with Keith and Anita. I even went down to Chicago to visit my friend Mike and to meet with his coven, the Temple of the Sacred Stones. I even performed a Luciferin Mass for the coven members, although I am certain that they found it quite strange. One of the high points of that visit was going to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum and seeing the intact collection of Gardner’s Witches Museum. That was before the collection was broken up and distributed to other RBION musuems. 

All during the time from 1981 through 1983, I was attempting to figure out a career path for myself as well as developing a completely new system of magick. I wrote up a series of four Mass rites for the four sacramental systems of Thelema, Thanatos, Agape and Eros, and produced a system of invocation and evocation nearly from scratch. During this time, I wrote probably around 30 rituals and a couple of massive ordeals (Ordeal XV and the Tessarenoi - Four Temples) - my creativity was boundless. 

 

I spent many hours developing this new system of magick, and used the temple space of friends to experiment with it, since I no longer had an operating temple. Many of my most fundamental works were written in the period of 1981 through 1983, and I also envisioned the Order of the Gnostic Star at that time, although it was only in an embryonic phase. I was on a very high plane with all of these creative ideas passing into my mind, yet all during this time, I didn’t know who was behind these inspirations. All I knew was that the actual lore worked, that it had a context (which I would later verify through research), and it was consistent. I was building a comprehensive system of magick and testing it as I went along. Everything pointed to the fact that I was receiving a level of magickal and occult knowledge that was beyond anything that I had previously received, and the source was veiled and invisible to me.

This was happening to me despite the dark times, my despair at ever getting ahead in life and becoming independent of my parents. It was a time when I really needed my friends and their companionship, and I was seeking to emerge from the negative influences of the Coven from Hell. It was in a word, the worst of times and the best of times for me. Since that time, I have had profound periods of creativity and insight, but that time was so terribly important to the foundation of my whole life - who I was and what I was to become - that it sticks out in my mind as no other period of my life so far. However, the most important decision that I was to make concerned my ability to make a living and chose a long term career.

I come to the conclusion that I would not be able to break into a professional career unless I got some kind of associate’s degree to go along with my BA in English (Linguistics). After searching around and trying out some classes, I decided to pursue an associate degree in Computer Science. I took some courses at the local technical college, and found that I seemed to have an ability at programming. In the autumn of 1982, I enrolled at Control Data Institute, which was an computer aided education facility owned and funded by Control Data Corporation (now defunct). CDI used a computer system called Plato to interactively train students in computer programming and computer electronics. I managed to complete the course work in four months, which was something of a record.

During all that year, in order to make money, I had continued to work as a janitor for a cleaning company and spent four hours in the evening (and some weekends) helping to clean the offices and bathrooms of some local small factories. During the day, I was at CDI, and commuted by bus to and from Milwaukee instead of using my car. Whether it was occultism, or a career, I was doing everything that I could to advance myself, and felt that even my humble job as a janitor was preparation for much better work in the future. My attitude was very positive, and it showed in my work and in my studies. I was going to dig my way out of the hole that I found myself in, and I applied hard, constructive and practical work to that end. It finally paid off for me, but not until the winter of 1983.

In the early winter of 1983, my parents went on another of their long vacations to the tropics. I, of course, stayed home and house-sat for them. I also converted the family room into a temporary temple and proceeded to experiment with some of the new rituals that I had developed. I also requested and received from my friend, Halina, a Bishop’s consecration, witnessed by my friend Cathy. Halina had received her consecration from Bill, who of course had been consecrated by Michael Bertiaux, so I had now gotten what I had originally wanted from Bill. I also was able to receive my consecration from someone that I had deeply respected and even venerated, so that was definitely a plus as far as I was concerned. I continued to honor my initiatory linkage to Halina for over a couple of decades after that time, even though we both moved in entirely different occult directions.

The lore that I had received not only covered the four Elemental degrees, but also covered the degrees of five through seven. I didn’t have all of the pieces, but I had most of them, either fully developed or in notes, and these I would use to develop the lore of the Order of the Gnostic Star. Even though the magickal lore that I had developed was highly personalized, the patterns and structures could easily be adapted and successfully used by others - as I found out a few years later. Still, getting the Bishop consecration, along with my priesthood ordination, was the final key that I needed to completely break out of my magickal and economic rut. I was about to undertake quite an amazing adventure, forcing me to leave my home state and begin a period of relocation that would continue on until 2005.

In the winter of 1983, I was able to use the graduate resources of CDI to get a job as an computer operator at a company that processed and stored insurance company data for the national association of state insurance commissioners. That operator job became a programming job in just a day or two, and when the company was relocated to Kansas City, I opted to be relocated along with it. That was the beginning of my computer career, and by June 1983, I had relocated to live in a new town, and I was now completely independent. I had a nice two bedroom apartment, and that meant that I finally had my own temple. I had broken free from the trap that I had unwittingly created for myself, and I was now on my way to fulling my destiny. It was a joyous time for me, but not one that was without a sense of loss and sacrifice. I had to leave my important and close friends, and even a woman that I passionately loved, behind in Wisconsin so that I could follow my destiny. It was an ironic trade off, but one that I stoically took upon myself.

In the years that followed, I continued to receive all sorts of inspirations and new lore, but it wasn’t until around 2002 that I discovered who was behind the inspirations, insights and wise guidance. It was Hermes Thoth Trismagistus, but it also included a few other deities and demigods (that must remain unnamed) all of whom had been very much invisible and moving in the background throughout my formative period. These invisible and inner plane contacts were crucial to my development, and I suppose that they remained invisible to me for such a long time so I wouldn’t be able to interfere with them. I was puzzled by that kind of unknowable connection, but I am mentioning it in this article so that others might realize something within themselves, and learn to trust their own process. I trusted it with all my heart and soul, and it served me brilliantly even unto this day.

Frater Barrabbas