Further Archeomantic Ordeal Workings
Having a smaller apartment did make my life more attenuated and crowded, but as far as my magick temple was concerned, I still had plenty of room. This allowed me to continue the work that I had developed in Tallahassee. I had brought my magickal work to the zenith of my ability through the entrance and immersion of the first and lowest of the Qabbalistic dimensions (Dimension XVIII). I had repeated that working a couple of times, exposing others to its wonders and ensuring that it was something that was real and objective. The Santa Fe temple seemed like the perfect place to expand on this knowledge, so I prepared and performed an entrance into the next dimension in sequence (XVII), and then later on, performed a ritual that joined the two dimensions together into a singularity. These workings proved to be astonishingly remarkable, and performing rituals at a higher elevation had its interesting effects as well. I found that working magick within the Santa Fe environment compounded and amplified what was done to a much greater degree than anything that I had experienced previously. This might have had something to do with the thin atmosphere, the ambience of the location, the magical qualities of the land or because of the dust in the air. It might have been a combination of all of these qualities, but I did notice how much more potent the magick seemed when performed in the Land of Enchantment.
As I have stated previously, the triangular shapes found within the lattice structure of the paths of the Tree of Life are defined as Qabbalistic Dimensions. There are exactly 18 of these dimensions, and all of them are triangular with exception to the 4th and 5th dimensions, which are trapezoids. A Qabbalistic Dimension represents the synergetic union of the three Pathways, Sephiroth and Angular Vectors, which are said to be the Enochian Aethyrs. Thus, a Dimension is the veritable spiritual flesh and internal organs of the body of the Godhead, but it functions as a powerful unified being whose very nature is completely paradoxical and transcends all mental structures and considerations. When I have entered into one of these dimensions, I have found that they appear to operate wholly within the Causal Level of Consciousness, and seem to function as an unknown Godhead beyond any known occult definition. Accessing one seems to resolve itself into the activated field where all eighteen are realized as a holistic meta Godhead. When I have encountered one of these massive entities, it’s almost as if my entire mind is wiped clean and all that remains is an overpowering sense of bliss, unity, and a faint sound of celestial music. All other senses are null and void, and even thinking or conceptualizing is impossible.
I continued to perform these so-called Transdimensional workings that I had started in Tallahassee, seeking to fulfill and complete the workings associated with the XVIII dimension (whose spirit was called Autogenes), and then performing the entrance into the XVII dimension (whose spirit is Sophia Charisima). Where the XVIII dimension was located on the masculine side, the XVII dimension was on the feminine side of the Tree of Life. The numbering of the dimensions was based on a logical premise that what is more accessible and closer to the magician (i.e., the actualized masculine pillar) received a higher number and sequence, and represented where the counting begins (bottom right to left, then higher right, left, etc.). However, the sequential numbering of the dimensions doesn’t indicate any kind of ranking, since the dimensions are seen as operating as pairs of opposites all the way up the Tree of Life.
Gaining entrance into one of these qabbalistic dimensions requires a complete magickal exegesis of the three Sephiroth, Pathways and Aethyrs, which function as the components of this kind of working. All of these elements are pulled together into a synthetic structure grounded on a cross-roads vortex, and upon that structure is erected a grand gateway, which helps to fuse all of the components into a unified expression. Entering into that grand gateway is the way that the magician enters into the dimension, causing a complete immersion into the phenomenon of the transdimensional vortex. Having experienced this process a number of times, I have encountered all sorts of peculiar phenomena, such as extreme time dilation, full visual revelations of other worlds and domains, some of them completely alien to our own world, and visions of futureevents, some near and others far. Yet all of these phenomena only occur immediately before and after full immersion into the dimension. Full immersion produces the overpowering experience of being in a reality that is completely void of thought or any kind of intellection. Through the years 1994 through 1997, and the first quarter of 1998, I performed various workings engaging this very high form of ritual magick. I also exposed others to it and received complete corroboration from those who experienced it.
Although the initial ordeal working was quite elaborate and lengthy, taking a couple of months to complete, and the actual final ritual working took three consecutive days, there was a macro ritual that could be performed to regain access to the dimension whenever desired. This macro rite used the already previously established ritual structures to generate the transdimensional vortex, and all that was required to gain access was to perform the associated mystery rite and erect and enter the grand threshold gate. Using the macro ritual allowed me to re-enter and re-experience the already fully invoked dimension several times. This re-entry allowed me to more fully examine the phenomenon of the dimension, and also, to exhibit and share its power and qualities with a few others. At the time, I believed that I had discovered the most powerful and profound magickal ordeal that one could possibly experience. So I was quite fixated on this methodology for the next several years. I still believe today that it is one of the most powerful systems of magick, but it is only one of several that I now have in my repertoire.
In the autumn of 1994, I performed a final re-entry into the XVIII dimension and then sought to shift my focus to the next working. Yet on November 23, I performed a ritual working that attempted to exteriorize the dimension as an evoked spirit (in this case, Autogenes). I used the Gate of Revealing and Iron Cross rituals, which are expressly used to exteriorize a spirit into the mundane world, to coalesce s the spirit of the dimension into this world. The results of that working were quite remarkable, but I decided that such a working wasn’t really necessary, since it didn’t seem to actually make too much difference to my overall magickal and spiritual process. I also developed and performed a new version of the Bornless One Invocation rite that had as its foundation the completely exteriorized Four Qabbalistic Worlds, acting as a kind of tiered temple with four steps to the summit. I accomplished this ordeal on February 11, 1995, just before beginning a new cycle of workings. This new development was both relevant and critically important, as I later found out when seeking to do the Abramelin Lunar Ordeal.
From that date, and through the rest of the year and into the autumn of 1996, I performed a number of minor invocations and other workings, developing and refining the system of theurgy that I had first presented to the Order back in the late 1980's. I was also performing the final edits and revisions to my three volume book, and seeking to get it ready for publication in the near future. In 1997, I sent out samples, cover letters and a table of contents to a least a dozen publishers, and then waited for some positive response. Of course, all of these submissions received rejections over the next year and a half. Even so, I made copies of this book and shared them with my friends. At over 550 total pages, the book was quite voluminous. I later would find it to be poorly written and overly redundant when I re-wrote it as the “Mastering the Art of Ritual Magick” series.
In the autumn of 1996 I began the working that would help me gain entry into the XVII dimension. In October, I separately invoked the three great Aethyrs of ZAA, DES and VTI. These workings turned out to be quite powerful and amazing all by themselves. They also caused some interesting phenomenon to occur in my mundane life, which seemed to parallel the symbolic revelations of these three Aethyrs. Pulling some interesting text from my own magickal diary, the following was written up by me during that period.
“The three invocations had a powerful effect on the outward experiences of my life, each seemingly having a direct impact upon me after their invocation. It was amazing to see these interesting and unusual (but also subtle) things happen. The first invocation produced an effect the day after it was completed. I received an unexpected call from an older woman (Gabriel) who was looking to put together a musical group to accompany the selected reading of Persian and Indian mystic poets, such as Rumi, Hafiz, Kabir, Mirabai and Lalla. These poets exemplified the qualities of the aethyr ZAA, and so I accepted [the offer] to join three other musicians on very short notice to perform a concert consisting of sketchy themes and ideas for accompanying the most excellent of poetry. The concert was performed on October 17th at 7:00 PM. It was a great success at moments, and a bit long over-all. However, the poetry perfectly meshed with the message of ZAA, that I must submit to the love and will of the Deity in order to master myself and my destiny. This message I received and understood. The second and third aethyr did not produce such dramatic and immediate results, but they joined to establish the mood of the time, and colored the mundane occurrences of my life in later October and November.
I attended an interesting Halloween party and performed some amazing tarot card readings. I found out that evening that my friend Shann had breast cancer and was likely going to die from it. (Without any medical benefits, she had been unable or unwilling to see a doctor about her condition until the cancer was well advanced.) I saw her attempt to live, and her struggle seemed futile even at that time, then much more so a little later on. I brought her to the Halloween party, where she attempted and succeeded in dancing for a short time. Three weeks later she was admitted to a Nursing facility where she died only a few days later, just barely 44 years old, even though her wasted body looked like someone forty years older. As her designated Wiccan friend (I owed her some consideration for introducing me to all her friends), I had sponsored a Phowa ritual in Albuquerque on November 23rd with the assistance of Sandy Bryon and OZ. Shann was too sick to attend, and so I video taped it for her, and she at least got to see it a couple of days before she passed. It had snowed the night of the Halloween party, and soon afterwards, winter held the mountainous realms of Northern New Mexico in its icy grip.”
Winter had come to Santa Fe, and it was probably one of the more snowy and colder winters that I had experienced there. On November 9, I performed a newly developed and written invocation of Hermes Thoth Trismagistus, and through that working I discovered that he was my mysterious magickal mentor, guide, teacher and the inspirer of my magickal work. Thus my secret mentor was Hermes Thoth, so I received some very critical insights, lore and creative ideas from him through that invocation. Here is what I wrote in my magickal diary about that momentous event.
“This was a very intense working, and it was a kind of home-coming for me. For many years I had pondered the source of my inspiration in the fashioning of a new methodology of ritual magick. I had made amazing progress over the years, and at each loggerhead I received inspirations and insights that guided me to new vistas of understanding. When I succeeded in conjuring Hermes Thoth, he revealed himself to me in an effulgence of light and glory, telling me that he was my guide and muse in the arts of magick. The source of this new methodology of ritual magick was inspired by the spirit of Hermes Thoth, who proclaimed me as one of his emissaries in this world given the task to modernize a venerable spiritual tradition fallen upon hard times. I was to invigorate the arguments for ritual magick as the preeminent yoga of the Western Mystery tradition.
The spirit of Hermes Thoth pervaded the magick of the temple and assisted in making the magickal invocations of the three aethyrs even more potently realized within it. His power and inspiration helped me not to lose hope during the dark and cold month of November. I felt a powerful optimism emanate from him. He told me not to forsake my path because of apparent setbacks or the slow pace of the realization of my aspirations. All things would come to pass, and he was acting as my guide and muse, thus I was well protected and directed. I was amazed that yet another piece of my inner puzzle was revealed, and that the source and inspiration of my magickal ideas came ultimately from Hermes Thoth. It made obvious sense to me, but I had certainly pondered over it for many years, never suspecting such an obvious source. This connection does not negate my own true will nor my creativity, for these are important to my inner nature and they allow the free flow of intuitive occult speculations. Hermes Thoth acts as an intimate source and background for my occult studies and inventions, therefore, I am well integrated into the modern expression of Hermetic Philosophy and the Western Mystery tradition.”
Then on the long weekend of January 17 - 19, I performed the transdimensional vortex gate working to enter into the XVII dimension. This ordeal had to be performed by myself alone, since I didn’t have anyone to assist me as I had previously in Tallahassee. The three day ordeal was therefore much more arduous than the previous ordeal of 1994, but it was no less profound and mind blowing than what I had experienced previously. Here are a few diary entries that encapsulate what I experienced during that wondrous event.
“Without the aid of an assistant, the three night ordeal was very difficult but allowed me to exceed all expectations of endurance and perseverance. I relished the difficulty of the second evening and without much pause or rest, proceeded through all the rituals, establishing the three paths and Sephiroth associated with the XVIIth dimension. All throughout the ordeal, a myriad of reflections and insights occurred to me, all of which were of an extremely personal nature. I felt a profound degree of clarity in regards to the strange path I have been treading all these many years. My unusual relationships with women made perfect sense to me, and that society’s expectation that single people should find someone (just anyone!) to get married to is not relevant to one who is as deep a seeker of occult wisdom as myself, one who requires a partner who is willing to enter this World of Spirit and therein bond. I must determine for myself what is important in life and try to ignore or deeply understand the prodding and propaganda of our culture. Because I have abrogated the determination of personal meaning and truth, I must question the relevancy of all these urges, even those rooted in the core of my physical being.
Another insight that was revealed to me through this ordeal was that I must soon change the emphasis of my occult studies from being a solitary practitioner to a teacher among the peerage of magickal practitioners. I felt that this might also include a change of residence in the next two to three years, but there was not the powerful visionary mandate that was felt three years ago when I entered the XVIIIth dimension. But I felt that a change in my spiritual path would occur in due course.”
And this diary entry into the dimension recalls what entering it was like for me, and similarly, for others.
“The resultant impact of the egress into the XVIIth dimension was so great and so intense that it seemed as if my mental capacities were completely eclipsed. I was not able to think analytically, and all that was left of my conscious mind was an openness to the experience, an unresistant flowing with the currents of the greater power of the entity of the dimension, Sophia Charisima. Thus I saw no visions but only heard her voice in my mind, and felt the great power of her presence. I sensed profound changes occurring deep within me, but I could neither articulate nor even visualize them. Whatever was occurring, I could not even grasp it except in a deeply intuitive fashion. This was the most profound magickal experience that I have ever undergone, and in fact its effects still profoundly haunt me even several months later. It is a process that is still unfolding in me, as it involves the most personal and intimate aspects of my being. Through this process I am understanding my own complex sexual nature, and the peculiar relationships that I have with women - as their initiator and priest of the hidden genius (Goddess) within them. The question seems to be whether or not I can take this role with many women and still be devoted to a single woman.”
Even though I had been shown through my experience with the XVII dimension that my spiritual and magickal path would be changing in the near future, that change didn’t occur until another year had passed. During the interval, I re-entered the XVII dimension four times, in February, September, November and finally, January 1998. I felt that I had exhausted the transdimensional vortex system, but during that time I had also come up with another mechanism. I decided that I would attempt to perform a re-entry of both the XVIII and XVII dimensions simultaneously, thus uniting them into single meta-dimension. I know for a fact that I performed this working because I have the time table of planetary hours written up for that specific date, but the diary entry was likely written on some loose pieces of paper and are hidden somewhere amongst the mass of papers and folders in my black filing cabinet. The impact of that working was likely quite remarkable and represented the final apex of that series, but as I had been informed, my spiritual process was starting to change, and this final working would be the last of that type that I would work for many years.
Here is some text that I wrote up prior to performing this working that explains why I thought it would be significant to join the two transdimensional vortex gates into a fused union. I wanted to attempt to experience the dimensions unified into a single expression, so it seemed natural to join the masculine and feminine dimensions together.
“After having entered and experienced all the phenomenon associated with the two lowest but still potent Qabbalistic dimensions, I had pondered producing an expression representing their union. It is part of my methodology to seek a shortcut in order to gain egress to all dimensions without the arduous performance of all the ritual steps - the full three phases. However, such a complicated and intensive working as the trans-dimensional gate could not be expressed in a simpler fashion than through the synthesis of its component parts - namely the aethyrs, paths and sephiroth. Therefore, it seemed that in order to continue to benefit from the transforming powers of the Qabbalistic dimensions, I would have to continue to invoke them through the large array of the trans-dimensional vortex gate pattern one by one. I sensed that because there was a common thread to the experience of a dimension that it must represent a common space and state of consciousness, only marginally defined by the nature and quality of the ‘being’ of the dimension. Each entrance into a specific dimension represents the opening of a door into a common reality wherein the magician and “being” of the dimension enter into a profound union of consciousness. It should be possible for the magician to enter into that field of consciousness itself and seek communion with any or all of the dimensional ‘beings’.”
“An examination of the dimensional structures of the Tree of Life revealed a double anomaly, that is, there are two dimensions that contain four sides instead of the customary three. The two dimensions indicated also have two dimensions on either side, thus causing them to be closer to the center than if they occupied either side of the middle pillar alone. There is a corresponding pattern if the two trapezoidal dimensions are joined to form a variant octagram that is analogous to joining two trans-dimensional vortex gate ritual patterns. Thus the trapezoidal octagram represents the key to all dimensions.
There are two methods of accessing the key to the dimensions. First, one may select any two opposing dimensions and perform their corresponding trans-dimensional vortex gate rituals together, forming an overlaying trapezoidal octagram. Second, one may perform the complete trans-dimensional workings to gain egress to the two trapezoidal shaped dimensions (dimensions IV and V) and then perform the Double Trans-dimensional vortex ritual and fuse them into the key. The first method will expose the magician to the power of the key and reveal its essence, the second method will assist the magician to master the key, thus allowing for subsequent macro-ritual workings to reveal the nature of all eighteen dimensions.”
So I managed to perform what I called the Double Transdimensional Vortex Gate ritual, but I never went any further with this methodology. What remains is for me to pick up this thread sometime in the future so I might complete this series of working. I suspect that such a task will include entering into the two higher dimensions that are trapezoids instead of triangles. It would also appear that the trapezoid is a special to key to the completion of this process, and one that I have yet to fully develop. Yet in the year 1998, I had exhausted all of my creative ideas about this methodology, and it was obviously time to focus on other tasks.
At times when we are deeply engaged in a highly self-absorbed process of high magickal theurgy, it becomes necessary to return to earth. This is part of the overall cyclic process, and one that I seem to always experience. After performing all of these workings it was time to return to earth and to ground myself in what was for me a foundational earth-based paganism. I had gotten very far removed from that spiritual perspective, and whether I realized it or not, I needed to get back to my basic spiritual beliefs and practices and re-constitute them. This began to happen when I was teaching and initiating my girlfriend into Alexandrian witchcraft, and it continued to build as I reconnected with my pagan friends and began to get involved in the pagan and witchcraft community again - although that was not to happen in Santa Fe. My relationship with my girlfriend was stagnant (she would never seek to make me her primary lover even after she was completely single), my work situation was stagnant, and so were my spiritual and magickal processes. I needed a complete change of venue, so in 1999 I began to seek one out, having decided to pull up stakes and leave town permanently.
After five years of living in the odd town of Santa Fe, I felt that I needed a change, so I sought and got a promotion with the company that I worked, which assisted me to move to yet another town. This time, I moved to the Twin Cities of Minnesota and left behind the wonderful (but desiccated) southwest. I took on a new job that gave me far more opportunities, and I also felt that I needed to move to a place that would accommodate my reintroduction into the pagan community. The Twin Cities are called Paganistan by the witches and pagans who live there, and for good reason. I would also become involved with the local body of the OTO in that town, but that, of course, is another story altogether - one that I will relish telling some day in the future.
As I have stated previously, the triangular shapes found within the lattice structure of the paths of the Tree of Life are defined as Qabbalistic Dimensions. There are exactly 18 of these dimensions, and all of them are triangular with exception to the 4th and 5th dimensions, which are trapezoids. A Qabbalistic Dimension represents the synergetic union of the three Pathways, Sephiroth and Angular Vectors, which are said to be the Enochian Aethyrs. Thus, a Dimension is the veritable spiritual flesh and internal organs of the body of the Godhead, but it functions as a powerful unified being whose very nature is completely paradoxical and transcends all mental structures and considerations. When I have entered into one of these dimensions, I have found that they appear to operate wholly within the Causal Level of Consciousness, and seem to function as an unknown Godhead beyond any known occult definition. Accessing one seems to resolve itself into the activated field where all eighteen are realized as a holistic meta Godhead. When I have encountered one of these massive entities, it’s almost as if my entire mind is wiped clean and all that remains is an overpowering sense of bliss, unity, and a faint sound of celestial music. All other senses are null and void, and even thinking or conceptualizing is impossible.
I continued to perform these so-called Transdimensional workings that I had started in Tallahassee, seeking to fulfill and complete the workings associated with the XVIII dimension (whose spirit was called Autogenes), and then performing the entrance into the XVII dimension (whose spirit is Sophia Charisima). Where the XVIII dimension was located on the masculine side, the XVII dimension was on the feminine side of the Tree of Life. The numbering of the dimensions was based on a logical premise that what is more accessible and closer to the magician (i.e., the actualized masculine pillar) received a higher number and sequence, and represented where the counting begins (bottom right to left, then higher right, left, etc.). However, the sequential numbering of the dimensions doesn’t indicate any kind of ranking, since the dimensions are seen as operating as pairs of opposites all the way up the Tree of Life.
Gaining entrance into one of these qabbalistic dimensions requires a complete magickal exegesis of the three Sephiroth, Pathways and Aethyrs, which function as the components of this kind of working. All of these elements are pulled together into a synthetic structure grounded on a cross-roads vortex, and upon that structure is erected a grand gateway, which helps to fuse all of the components into a unified expression. Entering into that grand gateway is the way that the magician enters into the dimension, causing a complete immersion into the phenomenon of the transdimensional vortex. Having experienced this process a number of times, I have encountered all sorts of peculiar phenomena, such as extreme time dilation, full visual revelations of other worlds and domains, some of them completely alien to our own world, and visions of futureevents, some near and others far. Yet all of these phenomena only occur immediately before and after full immersion into the dimension. Full immersion produces the overpowering experience of being in a reality that is completely void of thought or any kind of intellection. Through the years 1994 through 1997, and the first quarter of 1998, I performed various workings engaging this very high form of ritual magick. I also exposed others to it and received complete corroboration from those who experienced it.
Although the initial ordeal working was quite elaborate and lengthy, taking a couple of months to complete, and the actual final ritual working took three consecutive days, there was a macro ritual that could be performed to regain access to the dimension whenever desired. This macro rite used the already previously established ritual structures to generate the transdimensional vortex, and all that was required to gain access was to perform the associated mystery rite and erect and enter the grand threshold gate. Using the macro ritual allowed me to re-enter and re-experience the already fully invoked dimension several times. This re-entry allowed me to more fully examine the phenomenon of the dimension, and also, to exhibit and share its power and qualities with a few others. At the time, I believed that I had discovered the most powerful and profound magickal ordeal that one could possibly experience. So I was quite fixated on this methodology for the next several years. I still believe today that it is one of the most powerful systems of magick, but it is only one of several that I now have in my repertoire.
In the autumn of 1994, I performed a final re-entry into the XVIII dimension and then sought to shift my focus to the next working. Yet on November 23, I performed a ritual working that attempted to exteriorize the dimension as an evoked spirit (in this case, Autogenes). I used the Gate of Revealing and Iron Cross rituals, which are expressly used to exteriorize a spirit into the mundane world, to coalesce s the spirit of the dimension into this world. The results of that working were quite remarkable, but I decided that such a working wasn’t really necessary, since it didn’t seem to actually make too much difference to my overall magickal and spiritual process. I also developed and performed a new version of the Bornless One Invocation rite that had as its foundation the completely exteriorized Four Qabbalistic Worlds, acting as a kind of tiered temple with four steps to the summit. I accomplished this ordeal on February 11, 1995, just before beginning a new cycle of workings. This new development was both relevant and critically important, as I later found out when seeking to do the Abramelin Lunar Ordeal.
From that date, and through the rest of the year and into the autumn of 1996, I performed a number of minor invocations and other workings, developing and refining the system of theurgy that I had first presented to the Order back in the late 1980's. I was also performing the final edits and revisions to my three volume book, and seeking to get it ready for publication in the near future. In 1997, I sent out samples, cover letters and a table of contents to a least a dozen publishers, and then waited for some positive response. Of course, all of these submissions received rejections over the next year and a half. Even so, I made copies of this book and shared them with my friends. At over 550 total pages, the book was quite voluminous. I later would find it to be poorly written and overly redundant when I re-wrote it as the “Mastering the Art of Ritual Magick” series.
In the autumn of 1996 I began the working that would help me gain entry into the XVII dimension. In October, I separately invoked the three great Aethyrs of ZAA, DES and VTI. These workings turned out to be quite powerful and amazing all by themselves. They also caused some interesting phenomenon to occur in my mundane life, which seemed to parallel the symbolic revelations of these three Aethyrs. Pulling some interesting text from my own magickal diary, the following was written up by me during that period.
“The three invocations had a powerful effect on the outward experiences of my life, each seemingly having a direct impact upon me after their invocation. It was amazing to see these interesting and unusual (but also subtle) things happen. The first invocation produced an effect the day after it was completed. I received an unexpected call from an older woman (Gabriel) who was looking to put together a musical group to accompany the selected reading of Persian and Indian mystic poets, such as Rumi, Hafiz, Kabir, Mirabai and Lalla. These poets exemplified the qualities of the aethyr ZAA, and so I accepted [the offer] to join three other musicians on very short notice to perform a concert consisting of sketchy themes and ideas for accompanying the most excellent of poetry. The concert was performed on October 17th at 7:00 PM. It was a great success at moments, and a bit long over-all. However, the poetry perfectly meshed with the message of ZAA, that I must submit to the love and will of the Deity in order to master myself and my destiny. This message I received and understood. The second and third aethyr did not produce such dramatic and immediate results, but they joined to establish the mood of the time, and colored the mundane occurrences of my life in later October and November.
I attended an interesting Halloween party and performed some amazing tarot card readings. I found out that evening that my friend Shann had breast cancer and was likely going to die from it. (Without any medical benefits, she had been unable or unwilling to see a doctor about her condition until the cancer was well advanced.) I saw her attempt to live, and her struggle seemed futile even at that time, then much more so a little later on. I brought her to the Halloween party, where she attempted and succeeded in dancing for a short time. Three weeks later she was admitted to a Nursing facility where she died only a few days later, just barely 44 years old, even though her wasted body looked like someone forty years older. As her designated Wiccan friend (I owed her some consideration for introducing me to all her friends), I had sponsored a Phowa ritual in Albuquerque on November 23rd with the assistance of Sandy Bryon and OZ. Shann was too sick to attend, and so I video taped it for her, and she at least got to see it a couple of days before she passed. It had snowed the night of the Halloween party, and soon afterwards, winter held the mountainous realms of Northern New Mexico in its icy grip.”
Winter had come to Santa Fe, and it was probably one of the more snowy and colder winters that I had experienced there. On November 9, I performed a newly developed and written invocation of Hermes Thoth Trismagistus, and through that working I discovered that he was my mysterious magickal mentor, guide, teacher and the inspirer of my magickal work. Thus my secret mentor was Hermes Thoth, so I received some very critical insights, lore and creative ideas from him through that invocation. Here is what I wrote in my magickal diary about that momentous event.
“This was a very intense working, and it was a kind of home-coming for me. For many years I had pondered the source of my inspiration in the fashioning of a new methodology of ritual magick. I had made amazing progress over the years, and at each loggerhead I received inspirations and insights that guided me to new vistas of understanding. When I succeeded in conjuring Hermes Thoth, he revealed himself to me in an effulgence of light and glory, telling me that he was my guide and muse in the arts of magick. The source of this new methodology of ritual magick was inspired by the spirit of Hermes Thoth, who proclaimed me as one of his emissaries in this world given the task to modernize a venerable spiritual tradition fallen upon hard times. I was to invigorate the arguments for ritual magick as the preeminent yoga of the Western Mystery tradition.
The spirit of Hermes Thoth pervaded the magick of the temple and assisted in making the magickal invocations of the three aethyrs even more potently realized within it. His power and inspiration helped me not to lose hope during the dark and cold month of November. I felt a powerful optimism emanate from him. He told me not to forsake my path because of apparent setbacks or the slow pace of the realization of my aspirations. All things would come to pass, and he was acting as my guide and muse, thus I was well protected and directed. I was amazed that yet another piece of my inner puzzle was revealed, and that the source and inspiration of my magickal ideas came ultimately from Hermes Thoth. It made obvious sense to me, but I had certainly pondered over it for many years, never suspecting such an obvious source. This connection does not negate my own true will nor my creativity, for these are important to my inner nature and they allow the free flow of intuitive occult speculations. Hermes Thoth acts as an intimate source and background for my occult studies and inventions, therefore, I am well integrated into the modern expression of Hermetic Philosophy and the Western Mystery tradition.”
Then on the long weekend of January 17 - 19, I performed the transdimensional vortex gate working to enter into the XVII dimension. This ordeal had to be performed by myself alone, since I didn’t have anyone to assist me as I had previously in Tallahassee. The three day ordeal was therefore much more arduous than the previous ordeal of 1994, but it was no less profound and mind blowing than what I had experienced previously. Here are a few diary entries that encapsulate what I experienced during that wondrous event.
“Without the aid of an assistant, the three night ordeal was very difficult but allowed me to exceed all expectations of endurance and perseverance. I relished the difficulty of the second evening and without much pause or rest, proceeded through all the rituals, establishing the three paths and Sephiroth associated with the XVIIth dimension. All throughout the ordeal, a myriad of reflections and insights occurred to me, all of which were of an extremely personal nature. I felt a profound degree of clarity in regards to the strange path I have been treading all these many years. My unusual relationships with women made perfect sense to me, and that society’s expectation that single people should find someone (just anyone!) to get married to is not relevant to one who is as deep a seeker of occult wisdom as myself, one who requires a partner who is willing to enter this World of Spirit and therein bond. I must determine for myself what is important in life and try to ignore or deeply understand the prodding and propaganda of our culture. Because I have abrogated the determination of personal meaning and truth, I must question the relevancy of all these urges, even those rooted in the core of my physical being.
Another insight that was revealed to me through this ordeal was that I must soon change the emphasis of my occult studies from being a solitary practitioner to a teacher among the peerage of magickal practitioners. I felt that this might also include a change of residence in the next two to three years, but there was not the powerful visionary mandate that was felt three years ago when I entered the XVIIIth dimension. But I felt that a change in my spiritual path would occur in due course.”
And this diary entry into the dimension recalls what entering it was like for me, and similarly, for others.
“The resultant impact of the egress into the XVIIth dimension was so great and so intense that it seemed as if my mental capacities were completely eclipsed. I was not able to think analytically, and all that was left of my conscious mind was an openness to the experience, an unresistant flowing with the currents of the greater power of the entity of the dimension, Sophia Charisima. Thus I saw no visions but only heard her voice in my mind, and felt the great power of her presence. I sensed profound changes occurring deep within me, but I could neither articulate nor even visualize them. Whatever was occurring, I could not even grasp it except in a deeply intuitive fashion. This was the most profound magickal experience that I have ever undergone, and in fact its effects still profoundly haunt me even several months later. It is a process that is still unfolding in me, as it involves the most personal and intimate aspects of my being. Through this process I am understanding my own complex sexual nature, and the peculiar relationships that I have with women - as their initiator and priest of the hidden genius (Goddess) within them. The question seems to be whether or not I can take this role with many women and still be devoted to a single woman.”
Even though I had been shown through my experience with the XVII dimension that my spiritual and magickal path would be changing in the near future, that change didn’t occur until another year had passed. During the interval, I re-entered the XVII dimension four times, in February, September, November and finally, January 1998. I felt that I had exhausted the transdimensional vortex system, but during that time I had also come up with another mechanism. I decided that I would attempt to perform a re-entry of both the XVIII and XVII dimensions simultaneously, thus uniting them into single meta-dimension. I know for a fact that I performed this working because I have the time table of planetary hours written up for that specific date, but the diary entry was likely written on some loose pieces of paper and are hidden somewhere amongst the mass of papers and folders in my black filing cabinet. The impact of that working was likely quite remarkable and represented the final apex of that series, but as I had been informed, my spiritual process was starting to change, and this final working would be the last of that type that I would work for many years.
Here is some text that I wrote up prior to performing this working that explains why I thought it would be significant to join the two transdimensional vortex gates into a fused union. I wanted to attempt to experience the dimensions unified into a single expression, so it seemed natural to join the masculine and feminine dimensions together.
“After having entered and experienced all the phenomenon associated with the two lowest but still potent Qabbalistic dimensions, I had pondered producing an expression representing their union. It is part of my methodology to seek a shortcut in order to gain egress to all dimensions without the arduous performance of all the ritual steps - the full three phases. However, such a complicated and intensive working as the trans-dimensional gate could not be expressed in a simpler fashion than through the synthesis of its component parts - namely the aethyrs, paths and sephiroth. Therefore, it seemed that in order to continue to benefit from the transforming powers of the Qabbalistic dimensions, I would have to continue to invoke them through the large array of the trans-dimensional vortex gate pattern one by one. I sensed that because there was a common thread to the experience of a dimension that it must represent a common space and state of consciousness, only marginally defined by the nature and quality of the ‘being’ of the dimension. Each entrance into a specific dimension represents the opening of a door into a common reality wherein the magician and “being” of the dimension enter into a profound union of consciousness. It should be possible for the magician to enter into that field of consciousness itself and seek communion with any or all of the dimensional ‘beings’.”
“An examination of the dimensional structures of the Tree of Life revealed a double anomaly, that is, there are two dimensions that contain four sides instead of the customary three. The two dimensions indicated also have two dimensions on either side, thus causing them to be closer to the center than if they occupied either side of the middle pillar alone. There is a corresponding pattern if the two trapezoidal dimensions are joined to form a variant octagram that is analogous to joining two trans-dimensional vortex gate ritual patterns. Thus the trapezoidal octagram represents the key to all dimensions.
There are two methods of accessing the key to the dimensions. First, one may select any two opposing dimensions and perform their corresponding trans-dimensional vortex gate rituals together, forming an overlaying trapezoidal octagram. Second, one may perform the complete trans-dimensional workings to gain egress to the two trapezoidal shaped dimensions (dimensions IV and V) and then perform the Double Trans-dimensional vortex ritual and fuse them into the key. The first method will expose the magician to the power of the key and reveal its essence, the second method will assist the magician to master the key, thus allowing for subsequent macro-ritual workings to reveal the nature of all eighteen dimensions.”
So I managed to perform what I called the Double Transdimensional Vortex Gate ritual, but I never went any further with this methodology. What remains is for me to pick up this thread sometime in the future so I might complete this series of working. I suspect that such a task will include entering into the two higher dimensions that are trapezoids instead of triangles. It would also appear that the trapezoid is a special to key to the completion of this process, and one that I have yet to fully develop. Yet in the year 1998, I had exhausted all of my creative ideas about this methodology, and it was obviously time to focus on other tasks.
At times when we are deeply engaged in a highly self-absorbed process of high magickal theurgy, it becomes necessary to return to earth. This is part of the overall cyclic process, and one that I seem to always experience. After performing all of these workings it was time to return to earth and to ground myself in what was for me a foundational earth-based paganism. I had gotten very far removed from that spiritual perspective, and whether I realized it or not, I needed to get back to my basic spiritual beliefs and practices and re-constitute them. This began to happen when I was teaching and initiating my girlfriend into Alexandrian witchcraft, and it continued to build as I reconnected with my pagan friends and began to get involved in the pagan and witchcraft community again - although that was not to happen in Santa Fe. My relationship with my girlfriend was stagnant (she would never seek to make me her primary lover even after she was completely single), my work situation was stagnant, and so were my spiritual and magickal processes. I needed a complete change of venue, so in 1999 I began to seek one out, having decided to pull up stakes and leave town permanently.
After five years of living in the odd town of Santa Fe, I felt that I needed a change, so I sought and got a promotion with the company that I worked, which assisted me to move to yet another town. This time, I moved to the Twin Cities of Minnesota and left behind the wonderful (but desiccated) southwest. I took on a new job that gave me far more opportunities, and I also felt that I needed to move to a place that would accommodate my reintroduction into the pagan community. The Twin Cities are called Paganistan by the witches and pagans who live there, and for good reason. I would also become involved with the local body of the OTO in that town, but that, of course, is another story altogether - one that I will relish telling some day in the future.
Frater Barrabbas
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