One of my most popular blog articles of all time is one that I wrote on the Incubus and the Succubus. For some reason this article has gotten the most attention on the internet compared to any other, despite the fact that I have basically dismissed this kind of encounter as a poor surrogate for the real thing - sex with a human lover. I was bemused by this strange popularity and I couldn’t figure it out, until I found by accident that there is a whole cadre of lefthand path magicians (mostly male and typically young) who are advocating and even boasting about these kinds of encounters. Not being a Christian or a member of the Abrahamic faith (nor an avowed Satanist), I find these kinds of sidelines to be strange artifacts of a previous epoch. Really, if it wasn’t for the fact that we live in the post-modern age I would swear that the middle ages are alive and well.
So it seems that getting your kicks from an incubus or succubus encounter is something of a fad amongst some young LHP magicians, and it is even advocated and hotly advertised by someone with the stature of Eric Koetting. I discovered a rather hyped You-Tube video where Eric expounds on the topic of how to have sex with an incubus or succubus. You can find it here. There are, of course, plenty of other examples out there in the Internet (such as the Goetia Girls et al), but I will leave the gratuitous searching to those who are looking for amusement or titillation. This is a subject that doesn’t particularly interest me, most likely because I have found that “real” sex with a real woman is for me much more profound than engaging in some form of mental (or real) masturbation. I would also have to say that a long-term relationship is much more interesting and rewarding in life than some sweaty, quickie grope, grind and release. I am not against sex, and in fact, I am really quite in favor of any kind of “real” sexual encounter that is legal and based on mutual consent.
Don’t get me wrong, I am also a fan of erotica in its various forms, and in fact, my lady and I engage in the sharing and perusal of such media. However, we see it as stimulating fantasies not to be confused with the reality of human sexual relationships. I would suspect that this kind of reality is foundational to all persuasions and types of legal and natural human interactions. Sexual activity can be a great good, and it is also healthy for people to engage in it and thoroughly enjoy themselves. Sex can also be the means to higher states of consciousness, and there is such a thing as sacred sexuality. Since we all have within us an aspect of Deity, then consensual sex between loving individuals takes part in the union of Deities in sacred emulation of the One. That is how I see and personally define sexuality.
Fantasy, and sexuality in the mind, is an important and powerful component of physical sex, as well as many other creative endeavors, such as magic. It is often said that good sex starts in the mind where is it is empowered and amplified over time before it becomes a reality. Some fantasies, though, should probably remain in the mind and not be pursued in physical reality. I will leave that kind of judgement and discretion to the reader to ponder for themselves.
I do admit that I have had powerful erotic experiences in my magical workings, particularly when I have encountered various aspects and manifestations of the Goddess, to whom I am a spiritual and magical devotee. Most of those kinds of events occurred when I was younger and more sexually vital, but it is something that I have experienced in later times. However, that is an encounter with Deity, and the love relationship between the Goddess and myself is an important and powerful part of my spiritual and magical work. It can be inspiring, thrilling and it can even be terrifying, but throughout, it is a component of Deity that I can only experience through my own particular Godhead, or Atman. It is not a surrogate for a real human relationship, and it is not something that I can even talk about in any detail because it is so intimate and profoundly meaningful to me.
Perhaps that is what Eric and other LHP magicians are talking about when they get into discussing their sexual encounters with spirits. Angels and demons have a mythological history of cavorting with human partners, and there are many other examples in the religions of the world today. Still, without the same degree of reverence and sacralization, I doubt that these experiences are the same as what I have experienced. For me it is the conscious realization of the union of human and deity, occurring as it does through the medium of the higher self, or God/dess Within. I now realize that it is a manifestation of my Atman through which I have had powerful visions of sexual union. It produces in me a kind of exalted spiritual ecstasy. Through these experiences the poetry of Rumi, Kabir, Hafiz and others is powerfully acknowledged and realized. I am exalted by these occurrences, but I must also admit that they happen to me without necessarily being sought or pursued. The spiritual lover that Rumi discusses in his poetry is, of course, God, and it is the profound submission to this love that brings forth spiritual ecstasy and the visionary experiences of the highest states of consciousness.
Having had these kinds of experiences, I still sought for a life partner and life-long love, and I feel lucky and grateful that I found her. Receiving the love of the Goddess is a profound experience, but living in a loving relationship with a woman is a profound fulfillment of that spiritual connection. I believe that this is also true for anyone who is a lover, both on a physical and spiritual level, and their beloved, whether of the opposite or the same gender. Love is love, and the freedom to love is the greatest of all freedoms. Yet true love, especially the love of God, requires the lover to submit to that love in order to be exalted. It is a profound paradox, but it is also a great truth.
What I don’t see happening with the LHP obsession with the incubus or succubus is anything remotely like what I have experienced in magic or in life. I have received comments from readers telling me about their passionate encounters with spirits, demons, angels, or whatever, and yet they don’t seem to be exalted, transformed or even fulfilled by the encounter. It makes me sad to read these comments and emails because what it says to me is that there are some very lonely and desperate individuals out in the world who are seeking love and have only found it in their imaginations. They seem to project that imagination somewhat into the physical world, but it is not reciprocated by a real human lover - it remains a shadow of reality.
I know what it is like to be desperate for love, and I know what it is like to be hurt and betrayed by false lovers. But I find this kind of encounter with a quasi fantasy spirit to be poor and meager fare for the body and soul. Maybe I don’t understand, that’s always a possibility, but maybe the world is full of a lot of lost souls who can’t find real love in any other manner.
Anyway, I can’t judge such individuals because I am not wired in the same manner. What I do believe is that what they are doing and experiencing is not even meaningful to me. It would be like having a romantic evening with a blow-up doll, and not a particularly good one, either. It is just ego inflating and seems like just a form of mental masturbation. I guess that I have failed the test to become a bad-ass LHP magician because I find this kind of activity to be silly and juvenile. Maybe others see it as cool and spunky, but to me it is empty and vain.
I hope some of the folks who have been avidly reading my article on demonic sex will realize that I think it’s not cool and awesome. It is, in fact, nothing more than some moronic juvenile activity that allows those who pursue it an excuse for seeking and obtaining a real relationship with a human being. I rest my case.
Frater Barrabbas
I'm feeling some close mindedness from this post. You base your assumptions on the premise that they are using their imagination. Are spirits not real? And can they not heighten sensation? Emotion? Or do gods and goddesses only have that power. Sex as an end all and be all..with human or spirit (or whatever)...is usually a temporary obsession of the young twenties. I'm always amazed when magicians have slammed mental doors on certain realities, not because they shouldn't, but because their reasonings are half started and unsorted. They seem to believe their experiences do not carry across the thresholds of commonality.
ReplyDeleteNot all encounters with spirits or Deities are the same, and the imagination is the most powerful tool that a magician possesses. What they are experiencing is real, and that is the problem, as I see it.
ReplyDeleteHowever, when such an encounter doesn't cause an ultimate evolutionary shift in consciousness, then what is its value? What I believe is that such a relationship can become an excuse or even a powerful emotional trap that keeps one from having a real relationship with a human being. I know this from personal experience, so there are no mental or emotional doors being closed here in this article or in my mind.
Also, the life story of a magician can have unique elements that others might not actually experience, but love and relationships are the common thread that link all human beings together. A magician is a fusion of common and exceptional, simply because he or she seeks something beyond what is normal or conventional.
Spirits and Deities are all too real, but the greatest challenge that faces human beings is finding that other human being who can be a soul partner and therein truly know you and love you for exactly who you are, and nothing more. Without also having a corresponding material manifestation then the magic of this kind of encounter has little depth or meaning.
I am even more amazed when magicians engage in sexual fantasies and thereby keep themselves from really engaging with other people. I have experienced this bitter isolation, and I have also transcended it. I have also discovered that others have been engaged in such problematic and unproductive kinds of relationships. Your comment is noted, but it seems to me that you don't really understand what I wrote about in my article. Instead you seek to quickly criticize me for things that are a part of my life story. I find that very sad but not unexpected.
FB
All people in life seem to be chasing love and sex. It drives people crazy when one of those is missing. While one can rehearse an imaginary scene in one's mind over and over again, connection with a spiritual lover may result. It appears some spirits may have a power of obsession over human beings such as undines. However, the mystical ecstasy of working with the Godheads is much more fulfilling. While we may all be driven by love and sex, you can't beat the real thing that comes from a human relationship. The magician, with the proper use of charms and enchantments, can succeed in dating as well as a marriage that has lost the passion.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely apologize, I did not mean to quickly criticize you at all. In fact I twice reread your post, took my time and carefully choose my words. This is my advance warning my comment is going to have a "tone" (and probably be long). Please don't take it as wrath or flippancy directed toward you. I really like you, I do. Mostly, it's all about me. We're having a drought these days and I find the sun makes me either contentious or facetious (both).
ReplyDeleteI understand your need to warn others and I see the reasons. I also realize fantasy and imagination can be seductive and dangerous, but so can driving. Some people are fine with it, others should not do it... ever again.
I do think you have closed doors. I have my own but I can see yours better than mine, and I assume it's the same with you. Your basic assumption that sex with a spirit (incubus,succubus, Lilith, angel or devil) is just fantasy or a bad substitute for blow up doll, is what causes my little aggravated sun to shine. What if it were real true and not unreal and not a byproduct of lonely angst, delusion, depression, wishful thinking...allergies? ( Mental illness is a real hell, and I'm not being insensitive, just trying for Average Joe here). What if the spirits could make it a religious experience, super loving, and epic?
Many twenty somethings have soft porn driving their hardware 23 and a half minutes out of 30 (I was going to say 24 but thought that was too mean). They use it as motivation to get out of bed in the afternoon! How backwards is that? And if you look at my doors, you'll see I have not closed the one on this being a way to true and meaningful contact.
Let's just assume I know what I'm talking about here. As the sun is working on my energy (and humor), so would a spirit have to influence and ramp up the chakras to make the feel good experience wow enough for the buggery human to want more. Could this be a way for evolutionary growth? Maybe. My morning coffee sometimes fills that role but spirits (gods, goddesses, archangels, elementals, kings, secret chiefs, HGA) contact does it much quicker. It would get tiring to have sex all the time, soon you'd want to know more, do more, expand your reach and then maybe, because your energy system has been played like a flute, you'll reach for a higher octave (enlightenment, your true will, god, the great work). You might even get there because you've had a booster added to your blow. (oh god, I'm so sorry! If I lose my nerve, you may never see this).
Having a spirited sex session doesn't have to devalue a long term human relationship based on love, nor keep you from looking for one. Spirits, from gods to elementals (as you probably know), love love with a big Love. They can also cause more havoc than human lovers...astounding, I know. Yes, I agree we should all have a good relationship, bad hair and morning breath included. Many things are possible. I know people can hide from life, get lost, and eat the freshness packet, so I am glad of your warning and I think it's a smart one.
Again, my problem is with the basic assumption of it being a fantasy and the sex being bad. Now let's go back to assuming I know only a tiny bit of crap...which I do, but I'm trying to keep my distance.
Thank you for reading and may the light always be with you (totally serious this time).
I have said that encounters with spirits are real, even though the imagination is the key to making it happen. What I am talking about is the "magical imagination." Whether such an encounter is good, great, terrible, or what have you, it is still a surrogate for a real relationship, and it is a very powerful emotional and spiritual trap.
DeleteHow do I know this is so? I base this judgment on my own historical experience. While I didn't attempt to evoke a succubus, what I did experience was a magical projection of unrequited love, which was just as beguiling and difficult to overcome. The two experiences are analogous, and the method to overcome them is singularly and often quite painful.
I think, if I am correct, that you haven't had these kinds of experiences yourself. So, perhaps you don't know what this means first hand. You took my joke about the blow-up doll as an insult because you want to make some kind of point that all relationships are somehow valid. I guess we just don't agree about this issue.
Also, please recall that for a magician, the imagination is the most powerful tool that he or she possesses. When a magician engages in fantasy it therefore has much more powerful repercussions than if someone who is not magical has a fantasy. This is simply due to the fact that a competent magician experiences the reality of magic and the material world more intensely due to the activation of his or her magical imagination.
Unless you have had this kind of experience yourself then it would all be speculation on your part. Trust me when I tell you that these kinds of encounters can all too easily take the place of actual human emotional interactions, which I believe are critically important for the magician to have in order to be an effective bridge of both worlds. Being imbalanced towards either world is a hazard that magicians seek to avoid or internally correct.
FB
I think mostly, that this practice boils down to experiences. While I haven't personally had any thing like this happen to me, I think a lot of younger people are seeing validation of sorts through experiences. For many who struggle with the belief of entities, this may be one of the ways they validate for themselves that they exist, and that there are actual intelligent forces outside of the physical realm. While there are many other ways to validate one's path (actual ritual work, synchronicity etc.) There's something very personal and intimate about sexual experiences. If the experience is terrifying, I think that would add more validation for it, as well as teaching respect and reverence for the Spirit Realm.
ReplyDeleteAh. I have had experiences with your type and theirs. That's why I can see both sides.
ReplyDeleteImagination can have nothing to do with spirits or some or much...but saying imagination, because it is necessary in magical work (which it is) means you have to use it in spirit sex is short sighted. You don't, they usually choose to make contact with you, not the other way around.
I agree with the commenter above, that many are seeking validation of the spirit world and this is a good way as any.