One of the most abused and controversial topics in the area of ritual and ceremonial magick is the art of sex magick. It would seem that anything having to do with sex is somehow a hot topic, and if you mix it up with magick and the occult, then it will automatically produce a heady brew. Right? Well, maybe not so much.
What I found over the years is that some individuals who talk a lot about sex magick and pose as sex magicians are fairly incompetent at both. In my perspective, if a magician is competent as a magician and also happens to be a competent lover, then he or she might consider joining the two practices. Of course, unless the objective is to perform what is known as the “rites of solitude” ( a form of magickal masturbation), then the target partner in this work must also be magically and sexually competent.
So it really takes two magically and sexually competent individuals, who also happen to have a strong relationship bond, to produce a good, solid, sexual magickal working. Anything below this standard is either just gratuitous sexual occultism or likely to go very much awry if consistently practiced. If you want to experience the worst that this combination has to offer, all you need to do is to be severely lacking of any of these requirements. There’s a reason why the Great Rite has often produced something more akin to the Great Wrong - I leave the rest to your imagination.
In a nutshell, the fundamental requirements for sex magick are:
- Magickal competence,
- Sexual competence,
- A good solid relationship.
I know that Crowley boasted that he could work effective sex magick with any two-bit hooker he happened to meet. Yet I believe that having a good partner is an important key to truly experiencing a long lasting, profound, deeply meaningful and satisfactory sexual magickal practice,. You might disagree with me, and you are free to experiment however you choose. My own personal experience is that it is better to engage in such activities with someone to whom you have a strong relationship, rather than engaging with an appealing stranger who might know very little about either magick or even sex. To assume that everyone knows how to adequately perform sex and be a good lover is highly naive, to say the least. It’s almost as naive as to assume that everyone knows how to work magick.
Another important factor in the art of sex magick is to discover the great lover within oneself. This is a difficult concept to relate, but we all have within us an aspect or attribute of our own potential desires and sexual aspirations. There’s an old saying that if you can’t find something within yourself, then you aren’t likely to find it outside of yourself either. This is particularly true about finding and engaging in any kind of spiritually qualified love. It is a state that is found within the deepest recesses of your being, and it is the essential “you” as the ultimate lover. That lover within is a lover first and foremost of one’s self, then other people and ultimately, of life itself. It is the trigger of personal ecstasy, and in order for it to be discovered, you have to come to grips with your own self. In other words, you must love yourself fully and completely before you are able to really love anyone else. What this means is that in order to be an effective lover, you must be whole and also an autonomous individual. Loving for the sake of filling a void within yourself is one of the weakest reasons for loving someone. Obviously, self loathing and feelings of being unloved or being unlovable are extremely counter productive to discovering the lover within.
I am also not talking about any kind of obsessive self-love, or as it is called, narcissism. What I am talking about is freely loving who you are and what you are without rejecting anyone or anything else from that equation. Discovering the lover within is to learn that life’s decisions about love should never be discriminating, exclusive, rejecting or having to choose one person or path over another. It’s about the concept of inclusion and not exclusivity. Although that kind of openness is quite difficult to realize in life, you should always understand that who you are, what you are, and who you are with are all products of your choices, whether deliberately made or even coerced by necessity.
Narcissism is excluding everyone from the possibility of affection except yourself, usually because of some innate fear of rejection or even paradoxically, low self esteem. This contrasts with self-love, which is the state of being wholly and completely inclusive of everyone and everything. Self-love, or the lover within, is the core root of the powerful love instinct brought to its highest level of spiritual embodiment. Of course, the lover within is also an attribute of the resident (and often slumbering) higher self, and it represents the ray of love that permeates all things; from the Godhead down to the smallest aspect of beingness. Love holds everything together in a synergistic embrace, and it is the essential quality that should be emulated when one seeks to engage in sacral sexuality.
This brings us to the next important consideration in regards to sex magick, and that is the difference between sacred and profane sexuality. Sex magick must, by definition, be that kind of union that occurs within sacred sexuality. I believe this, even though much of what passes for sex magick would be considered profane sexuality. In my opinion, there is a difference between sexually manipulating and using someone (even willingly) to produce a specific material end through the use of magick than the joining of two individuals from the level of spirit down to their very bodies. If perfect union emulates the One, then sexually using someone is just the opposite. Sexual coercion within a magickal context is something that I consider to be quite negative, perhaps even vile, and it could even be labeled as a form of psychic vampirism.
Sacred sexuality is where the sex act is ritually performed in sacred space between two freely loving and whole individuals who have brought out their inner lovers and seek to bond at the highest level possible. Thus, they have activated their inner deities, and it is through them that they will perfectly and ecstatically join together in emulation of the One. During this profound and powerful union, the operators may engage in projecting mutual desires into the world of forms, and thus, through the power of ecstasy, potently impact them.
For a very simple and uncomplicated approach to sex magick, devoid of all of the eastern and western esoteric methodologies and intricately detailed mechanisms, there are nine basic elements involved in a practice of sex magick. Like any other methodology, once the basics are mastered, then the practice may evolve, incorporating other techniques, systems and methodologies as needed. Yet for the aspiring Pagan or Wiccan sex magician, I will focus on just the most basic elements involving these techniques.
Sacred Space - This can be a specific room where the operation is to be performed. It should be private, clean, uncluttered and be able to accommodate sexual activity, so having some kind of floor padding (a bed, couch or futon) would be appropriate. Also, building a simple shrine to the specific godhead of each participant, as well as equipping it with flowers, incense, soft lighting, music, beautiful pictures, and whatever else is needed.
Sacral Nudity - The mind-set that is recommended for this activity is to perceive the act of disrobing and being nude together as something akin to revealing the body (and the deeper self) without any obstacles, conditions or impediments to being fully accessible to one another. It is a state of mutual vulnerability. Decorating the body (body painting), sensual bathing, massage, anointing with oils and balms are all important preparatory rites for sex magick. The idea behind this state is that there should be no barriers between oneself, the Gods and one’s partner. This state should be comfortable, and also even a bit awe inspiring by itself.
Spiritual Devotion (surrender) - Another preparation for sex magic is to become aligned with not only your personal aspect of the godhead, but also with your partner’s godhead. You should learn to see your partner as the deity that they aspire to be, thus aiding them in realizing this ambition. Days should be spent giving devotion to each of these two elected deities with periodic offerings, invocations, paeans, hymns, love poetry and even spiritual service in the community. Not only should you try to realize your own personal godhead, but you should also realize the godhead of your partner. In this manner, over time, you will experience a profound sacralization of your love for yourself and your partner. In your eyes, your partner should begin to assume an idealized form, as if they have been physically transformed. While you are doing these things to your partner, your partner is also doing the same to you.
Mutual Godhead Assumption - The goal of this practice is to realize through godhead assumption your own materialization of the deity, as well as that of your partner. In order to accomplish this task, you will have to undertake a regular period of meditation, breath-control, mantra intoning, and staring fixedly at some object or image. This meditation session is performed with your partner, and the object of your fixed gaze should be him or her. Also, focusing on specific points on your body while performing a mantra intonation, you should be able to activate that point, and then link it with the same point on your partner’s body. Thus, erogenous zones are powerfully stimulated and awakened. Polarization is also an important factor, regardless of whether the couple performing the work is straight or gay. One of the couple will assume the more passive and receiving role, and the other, the more aggressive and sending role. The ultimate practice should be performing the drawing down rite on your partner, and then having him or her do the same for you. Basking in this aura of mutual godhead assumption will establish the threshold state needed to engage in sacral sexuality.
Sacramentation - The key to this concept is that everything which is blessed and associated with the Gods is a sacrament. Once within the state of godhead assumption, then blowing one’s breath, making signs before it, and touching it with the hands will bestow on that thing the essence of the Deity. In this manner, all substances, such as food, drink, perfumed oils and balms, lotions, elixirs and even drugs, once blessed and imbued with Spirit, become literally, sacred substances. Once blessed and transformed, these substances are used or consumed by the participants, which in this case is the couple performing the work.
Sacred Sexuality - These are the ritualized stages and phases of sexual and coital union between the properly prepared partners. While it isn’t necessary to learn all of the variations of love making, postures and techniques, it is important to approach this act with the highest degree of reverence possible. Every touch, every step of seduction, and every act of love and devotion to one’s partner is a highly charged ritualized act. It should be approached outwardly in a relaxed and even languorous manner in the beginning, so that every sense is super stimulated, and that the lovers experience everything to the fullest measure possible. Basic postures should vary, of course, based on what one is capable of doing without injury or excessive physical strain. Once physical union is established, then the triggers of excitement, rapture and finally, ecstasy, can be released and fully engaged. But the whole point of this work is to control the body and mind, and allow this process to gradually achieve its end while fully engaging all of the senses as well as the mind and the emotions. The goal is to accomplish a kind of mutual orgasm.
Mutual Intent - The whole purpose and intent of this work are the mutual objectives that the couple are seeking to realize in the material plane. It is projected from the state of mutual orgasm, which can give it a greater possibility for manifestation than through any other kind of magick. The desires that make up this mutual intent must be as heartfelt and energized for each of the participants. The mutual intent should be something that the couple focuses on as they undergo this whole process of sex magick. As an added boost, the mutual intent can be conceptualized as a sigil, drawn or painted on parchment or some other appropriate medium, and then charged and blessed as a sacrament. The sigil can be stared at by both participants as they achieve orgasm, projecting a powerful vector of force through the sigil into the material world.
Mutual Orgasm - The ultimate object for sex magick is for the participating couple to experience some kind of mutual orgasm. For this reason, the masculine impulse for quick ejaculation is tempered so that it may occur when the feminine orgasm occurs. Of course, if the sex magick is performed between same sex couples, then the equation for mutual orgasm becomes more easily realized. Orgasm represents the release of energies, the occurrence of ecstasy, and the ensuing visionary languor that follows. It is at that moment of mutual orgasm that the couple project their desires as the mutual intent into the material world through the waves of ecstasy.
Spiral Vortex and Cone of Power - In previous writings I have compared the male sexual orgasmic cycle to the energy structure known as the Cone of Power. I have also compared the feminine sexual orgasmic cycle to the energy structure of the Spiral Vortex. In sex magick, both of these energy structures are superimposed and fused into a single expression, which is the double cone of power. Where the spiral vortex is magnetic, the cone of power is electric. I would also assume that the mental state of the participants would also produce a different polarized kind of energy field, where the passive receiving role would assume a magnetic spiral vortex, and the active sending role would assume an electric cone of power. Therefore, these combined energy structures would approximate the roles of those engaging in sex magick, regardless of their actual gender.
These nine topics represent a simple and direct way for a couple to engage in sex magick. Yet in looking over these nine sections, you can see that my approach uses a combination of pagan religious devotion along with simple techniques of ritualized sexuality and a developed mutual intention. It is the sacralization of sexuality along with the binding of mutual intentions (accompanied by mutual orgasm) that characterizes this approach to sex magick. I found that using what I had already learned and mastered as a pagan and a witch was the simplest and most efficient way of performing sex magick. There are many ways to solve any given human puzzle, and my methods are just one of many to developing a simple methodology for working sex magick.