Magick and the Art of Self-Deception

“There is nothing more insidious, in my opinion, that can happen to anyone who is a magical practitioner other than wholly believing in their own PR.” - quote from Frater Barrabbas Tiresius

We all tell stories to our friends and families about ourselves and our experiences, but much of those tales are a mixture of fiction and fact. Sometimes the quantity of those facts are greater in proportion to the amount of fiction and sometimes it is quite the reverse, where only a smidgen of fact can be found with a lot of fiction. I guess it’s human nature to tell tales, and often they are humorous anecdotes about our lives and personal experiences. This process of telling and retelling tales about ourselves and our experiences is probably one of the most important factors for maintaining a long term memory. It also has a powerful social effect, either elevating or making more human (and accessible), the various episodes of our lives.

Magicians are no different when it comes to telling tales about themselves and their exploits, and I usually refer to these magical tales as “Tales of Power,” with a very brief nod to Carlos Castaneda. Sometimes a magician will embellish his tales and other times he will edit out the more revealing or embarrassing occurrences. Magicians who are trying to sell themselves as teachers, writers or magical consultants will often assemble an array of tales and exploits that depict them in a certain competent and alluring fashion, omitting those times when their magic went awry or failed altogether.

This aggregate of tales, adventures and exploits often build up a public persona that the magician uses as a marketing device. There’s nothing wrong with any of these activities, and they seem to be vested in the very nature of what it is to be human. The problem arises when magicians begin to believe that all of the tales and hype that they have put out about themselves are completely true. When a magician forgets who he or she really is, then problems will naturally arise. Delusion is a magician’s curse, and believing in your own public relations dossier is one large step down a very slipper slope. This is why I wrote an article many months ago explaining that I am a real person behind the pen-name and occult personality of Frater Barrabbas, and that I am not Frater Barrabbas.

In order to practice ritual or ceremonial magick in a competent manner, the operator must adopt a magical personality, also known as a “persona.” This process begins with the adoption of a magical name and motto, and then builds up to include one’s accomplishments and spiritual alignments. This magical persona becomes something of a fictional being, founded on the reality of the actual training and expertise that the magician has achieved, but also based on an initiatory pedigree and backed up by an association with various deities.

Some magician collect certain jewelry, robes and vestments, and even go so far as to wearing masks, makeup and assuming a specialized personality. Others like to collect initiation pedigrees from many different organizations to burnish their magical reputation, or just brag excessively about some of their accomplishments. After a while, a magician can notice the very shift in his personality when entering into that persona to either work magic or function as a public magician. My lady, Grace, can pretty much tell when I am in my mode as Frater Barrabbas instead of the real person that I am, and sometimes she delights in letting me know when the occult baloney factor is getting rather deep. Some of my close friends also let me know when the persona of Frater Barrabbas is getting a bit overbearing or interfering with a true social exchange. This was more of a problem in the past, but it still occurs from time to time.

Therefore, I have learned to function typically as a low key individual without any of the magical bombast when behaving as the normal middle aged man that I truly am, and to deliberately avoid being turned “on” unless my role as a magician requires it. This is also why I disguise my real name and identity from that of my magical persona so I can at least distinguish between them. I am certain that other magicians have this issue to deal with and have dealt with it each in their own different manner. A similar phenomenon can also afflict actors and especially comedians, but it also haunts magicians who have a larger than life magical persona.

So, a magician must balance the use of her persona and its importance in magical workings and function as a real person in a world that is polarized by the sacred and the profane. Keeping a certain degree of humility and objectivity is very important, and also knowing when one is operating through the magical persona and maintaining that function in its proper social context. It’s OK for me to be Frater Barrabbas when teaching, working magic or initiating others. It is bad form if I act through the Frater Barrabbas persona in normal social settings, or even all of the time and somehow confuse that persona with my real self. However, when I operate in a social or magical setting as Frater Barrabbas, there is also the human element that I make certain is always maintained. I may assume, for a brief moment, the vista of my Deity, but I am still a mortal human being with all of the associated flaws and limitations, including and especially, mortality.

Speaking of the real person, while I may have successfully achieved quite a bit of what possibly could be considered extraordinary magical operations, I have also profoundly failed at others and my overall progress over the decades has been a struggle with my own flaws, personal bad habits, delusions and misunderstandings. I am also getting older every year, and sometimes I wonder if I am getting any wiser? What does seem to be my ultimate fate is old age, enfeeblement and finally, death - just like everyone else. Whether I will be remembered as anyone of influence or importance is highly debatable, despite what I might state when I am pimping my magical persona to the public.

My life has been a series of follies and foibles, and at times I seem to be more like Don Quixote than Dr. Strange, chasing after delusions and passionately promoting fallacies. What I have learned over the many years of life is to laugh at my foibles and to make light of them for others to enjoy as well. If I can’t be the sorcerer supreme, I will at least be one of the better jesters in that court. And, as Lon Milo Duquette has proved time and again (and I am in perfect agreement with this sentiment), there’s really no fool like an old fool.

The key to maintaining balance, grace and sincerity in life’s eternal juggle of the sacred and the profane is, of course, humility, objectivity, flexibility and an open mind. I might be a magician, but I am also just a man with certain virtues and obvious flaws. As the cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man says (all too often): “I am what I am, and that’s all that I am!” So don’t buy too heavily into your own PR, and keep your magical tales of power sprinkled with some tales of personal folly and human weakness.

Frater Barrabbas

Pantheacon 2011 - Stregans, Remarkable Men and Women, and Low Magick

As you know, I was gone to Pantheacon the last few days, so that’s why there hasn’t been an article posted on this blog for that duration of time. I was also very busy at that event, so I didn’t get around to giving you a blow by blow report on what happened. So, now that I am still stuck here waiting for a late flight to get home, I thought that I would write up a report on how things went and what my experiences were like. There was a massive snow storm that shut down the Minneapolis airport for half a day on Monday, thus canceling my return flight. I had to scramble to get a replacement flight, and there wasn’t much to choose from. I will have to take a red-eye circuitous flight from San Jose, to Atlanta, then to Minneapolis, getting there Wednesday morning. Oddly, I will have flown in a triangle around the country during this entire trip.

Here are some notes that I wrote while the convention was underway.

The last affects of Pantheacon 2011 are winding down this Monday evening, and I thought that I would relate some of what I experienced while commingling with lots of strangely attired and pagan persona possessed people, including myself, of course. We descended on the few so called “normal” folks who were staying at the hotel for purely mundane reasons, and the hotel staff who expertly tolerated the crowds of unusual characters. It was fun, and it was informative - but more importantly, it met all of my expectations and exceeded them.

It would seem that Pantheacon is the kind of event that takes a few years for one to build up the kind of contacts and the social network necessary to make the con an event that is highly enjoyable and filled with the interaction of friendly and interesting folk. At least, this is true for me, an old cantankerous and dodgy sorcerer from the Midwest. It takes me a while to get to know people, and for people to get to know me - a veritable sign of the waning years of middle age. I am definitely not plugged in and hip as my much younger counter parts in the pagan world, so I stumble and creep along like some aged dinosaur, but I eventually get to where I want to go.

Anyway, as you know, I was stuck with the necessity of performing both of my presentations on Friday, which was a bit of a bother, but it turned out to be quite fortuitous. That meant that Friday was pretty much taken up with preparing for and giving the two lectures. Both were newly made and first-time presentations, but they consisted of material that I knew very well.
               
The first lecture was on the Decan Faces, a topic that is near and dear to my heart, and it went off pretty well. There was a bit too much information in the lecture notes, and it will require some tweaks to get it to a state where I will feel contented with it’s final form. This is a typical sentiment for me, being the avowed perfectionist when it suits me. One odd note was that all of the doors for the lecture rooms were locked and I had to get someone to open up the doors, and then the room wasn’t set up properly for the lecture. I guess someone thought that attendees needed their own tables to work on whatever was to be “constructed” for the workshop. My first lecture was moderately attended, and the feedback that I got was quite positive.

Later in the day I assembled my materials and went to give my second lecture, which was on Lunar Magick. Where the previous lecture was moderately attended, this lecture had more attendees than chairs, and soon the room temperature got up to the mid 80's, which was quite uncomfortable for some. This lecture was delivered adequately, although there was a bit of a problem with the end. I will probably go over the last section in the near future and iron it out, perhaps doing a bit of reorganizing. The attendees didn’t notice any of these minor issues, and the lecture was perceived as useful and successful. Some people later thanked me for this lecture and told me how significant it was. The most important point in the lecture is that using the Lunation cycle requires the witch or pagan to break their workings up into multiple sessions, so as to take better advantage of the changing lunar energy. I had stated in the beginning that I wasn’t an astrologer, and one of the questions that I took at the end was about the nodes of the Moon, which was off topic and a bit obscure for me. Thankfully, an astrologer was attending the lecture, a very learned man named Jim Schultz, who was able to answer that and a couple of other astrological questions - many thanks to him.

I also met and was introduced to Robert, the writer and owner of the “Doing Magick” blog. He was friendly and engaging, and we had some interesting conversations later on. I must admit that I was surprised at how he looked and expressed himself, all done in a down to earth and kindly manner, I guess you could say that I imagined that he would look and behave quite differently, based on the persona that I sense is projected in his writings. The reading imagination is an interesting tool when no real life imagery is supplied.

Another person that I spent a bit of time with was Ivo Dominguez Jr., who I found to be quite affable, friendly, and very humorous. Ivo is a very quiet, self disciplined and down to earth individual, but his wit and observation of human folly is quite insightful and enjoyable. Ivo is also very generous and socially accessible. I would have liked to have spent more time talking with him, but the reality of Pantheacon is unlimited distractions set within a very short time line. There were other old friends to meet and new friends to make.

One old friend that I truly enjoyed meeting again was Tony Mierzwicki and his lovely wife, Jo-Anne. Tony attended my first class and we spent some of the afternoon together getting caught up with each other. Tony is a delightful man; sensitive, highly intelligent, compassionate, and with the body of a Heracles, he presents a striking contrary image to the typical couch potato occultist. I regretfully communicated that I would miss his presentation on Monday afternoon, but as it turned out, I was able to happily attend it, and spend a good portion of the rest of the day talking with him and his wife.

Lon Milo Duquette was at the convention, of course, and I got to chat with him a few times, most notably with a well made martini in the OTO Hospitality Suite. As always, I found Lon to be eminently charming, hilariously funny, but also deeply insightful and down to earth. I picked up an autographed edition of his newest book on Low Magick, and he signed it “How Low Magick Can You Go?” I will be reading this book (and others) and will hopefully have something to relate on the comment. We both chuckled over it, and shared some other humorous observations about life in general, and occultism in particular. I bought the book a little later at the Llewellyn Author’s Presentation, which had a lot of new authors and books to examine. They also had free cake and a book raffle, but I had to leave after a short while, it was getting quite late for me. I was plagued by being two hours ahead of time in regards to my inner clock, so I found myself getting pretty sleepy by the time 11:00 pm rolled around. That would have been more like 1:00 am for me.

Saturday was the day that the del Bosco Sacro Stregan clan arrived at Pantheacon. I was very glad to meet David Griffin again, and to also meet his wife, Aegeria, and also to finally meet Dianus and Diana. Both Aegeria and Diana had been heavily afflicted with a recent bought of influenza, so that, and the long drive, slightly diminished them all with a veil of fatigue that they worked mightily to keep parted. Even despite these hardships, they were happy to be there, and that happiness was quite infectious, I must admit. They were dressed in long hooded capes and robes, and Aegeria had a drum to beat a cadence as they walked in a procession to the lecture hall. Thus, the long awaited presentation began.

The presentation of the del Bosco Sacro Stregan family was done in the style of an ethnographic interview, where Aegeria, acting as the anthropologist, asked a set of questions to Diana, which were replied by her acting spokesperson, Dianus, and translated by Lupercus (David). Questions and comments from the audience were discouraged during this presentation. This was an unusual presentation methodology, and some found it either unwarranted or unnecessary. However, I can understand why this methodology was used and I thought that was necessary, but it did place a restrictive barrier between the presenters and the audience. It made the proceedings far more formal and restrictive, and less interactive and engaging. The reason for this enforced structure was to ensure that the presentation was able to fully respond to all of the questions that were presented without detraction or disruption. It was also my understanding that the presentation was being recorded for future use. Anyway, the presentation had to be cut short due to desire of some in the audience to be able to ask questions individually, and that such a venue could not be held in the hallway after the event was completed. Aegeria’s list of questions were quite excellent, representing pretty much what everyone would have liked to have asked if they could have done so in an informal atmosphere. Afterwards, I had lunch with the whole group and was able to talk to them extensively in private, although Dianus’ command of English was limited at the present time. To communicate in any depth required David’s ever thoughtful interpretation in both directions.

Having personally met and talked and communed with Diana and Dianus, there was no question of their knowledge and abilities. They represent an authentic traditional teaching, which they were not shy to demonstrate on the following day. For a number of reasons, mostly due to fact that Diana was only recently bed ridden, the ritual event was not performed the following day. Instead, Dianus and Diana performed individual demonstrations of their techniques for a smaller and more intimate group. There were also some initiations performed, but everything was done completely on a voluntary basis, representing a very high degree of personal and spiritual integrity. I am unable to say more about this, of course, but what I saw and experienced in their company did more to eliminate any further doubts about their claims or the presentation of their knowledge. I can safely say that I am completely satisfied with what Lupercus and Aegeria are doing within the various pagan communities. All the various claims of nefarious manipulations, illegitimacy or a lack of ethical guidelines whispered by anonymous individuals can be seen for what it is, petty jealousy and spiteful judgements based on ignorance.

I must admit that I spent a lot of time with these four individuals, and got to see Diana and Dianus experience the wonders of the vender’s market place. I am certain that few Europeans would be able to see such a collection of specialized items for sale as were on display at Pantheacon. I could see the wonder in Diana’s eyes at all that she saw and got to examine in detail. That experience alone was quite a pleasurable past time for me as well as the four of them. Spending time with them meant that I didn’t get to attend as many of the workshops and lectures that I might have otherwise, but the sacrifice was well worth it. Spending time with these good friends and spiritual allies was the equivalent of attending quite a number of Pcon events.

Another interesting person that I met and had deep conversations with was Dr. Robert Word, a most pleasant fellow with a very keen intellect. Talking with him was like conversing with someone who had an almost encyclopedia like grasp of history as well as occultism. Other individuals that I met and got to talk with were Donald Frew, who was responsible for getting me deeply attached to Neoplatonism and who single handedly showed me that my intuitive spiritual perspectives and beliefs were based on the various teachings within that discipline. I also talked briefly with John Michael Greer (I promised him a drink, which I didn’t get a chance to honor), and I look forward with talking with him at the upcoming Pagancon in the Twin Cities.

I also attended the author’s panel put on by Weiser, and the theme for that panel was the republication of the book “Demon Lover” by Dion Fortune.  The author panel was supposed to have read the book and to comment on it. Although the authors presented a number of interesting and engaging perspectives about the book, little was actually said of Dion Fortune. I felt that many of the pagans who may have attended that panel would have only known Dion Fortune by her rather pagan books, such as the Sea Priestess, Moon Magic and the Goatfoot God. Demon Lover was a more obscure fictional story written by Fortune early in her career. However, Fortune’s fictional work was quite different than her non-fiction occult writings, both publically and within her spiritual order. I would have hoped that the panel would have started off with a short biographical note about who Dionne Fortune was, when she lived, died, and her overall contribution to occultism and esoteric studies. For instance, her actual name was Violet Firth, and she was much more known for her occult practices that mixed Christianity with forms of Theosophy than she was for her Golden Dawn or pagan associations. I think that Dion Fortune wouldn’t have liked to be referred to as a pagan occultist. Anyway, I was a bit disappointed by this omission, and was even asked to add some biographical detail off of the top of my head, which was kind of embarrassing, since I was hardly prepared to do so. Yet I managed to speak intelligently, although briefly, about Dion Fortune. Perhaps I may write a blog article about her in the future.

Because my flight was canceled, I got to attend Tony Mierzwicki’s presentation on Greek Religion and witness his invocation of Athena. I thought that it was an excellent lecture, facilitated with an eye-catching power point presentation and an English translation of the Orphic Hymn to Athena. I also spent some of the afternoon with Tony and Jo-Anne, walking in the lovely sunshine and proto-spring like weather outside. It was an enjoyable afternoon and evening, but the next day (Tuesday) saw few if any of the attendees left over. I had a quiet day of reflecting on what I had experienced, and some time to continue my reading of Jake Stratton Kent’s new book, volume one of Geosophia.

It was grand time of reflection, only interrupted when I had to undergo the horrifically torturous process of flying home. The only flight that I could find that was reasonable (only one stop over) traveled to Atlanta from San Jose, and then to Minneapolis. My journey was triangular, so that was kind of a bit of ironic humor. I had to endure a nearly four hour flight sitting next to an older unshaven man, with a bush hat and redneck teeth, who was traveling back to Ashville. While he wasn’t rattling the mucous in his throat, loudly snoring while sleeping, he was alternatingly coughing, sneezing or blowing his nose. He even spit some of what he was coughing up into an empty peanut bag, much to my horror and disgust. At least by the end of the flight I had discovered his middle name - it was Phlegm. Needless to say, I got no sleep on that flight, nor on the next, stuck and cramped as I was in the middle of the row. By the time I got home the following morning, I was quite tired and a bit cranky. I got over it all and settled into a pleasant sleepless reverie until my significant other came to pick me a couple of hours later.

So that was my Pantheacon experience - of course there were lots of other events and details that I have left out, but I think that I shared enough of it to give an idea of what it was like. Perhaps you might consider going there yourself someday, if you weren’t there when I was there. Anyway, time to get back to work and some more mundane things to occupy me for the nonce. There will certainly be more articles coming up, but for now, I need to do some writing and researching, punctuated with some fond memories.

Frater Barrabbas    

Continuing Education for Everyone

I never bought into the old saying that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I have found that even when one is a middle aged adult, expanding your horizons with education is a very important activity, especially when you are an aspiring ritual or ceremonial magician. I must say that I am constantly learning things from life, as well as habitually hitting the books and broadening my perspectives. As a youth, I developed an insatiable curiosity about almost everything, which took me out of the torpor of my youth culture and its inherent anti-intellectual perspective and put me on a track of learning to be literate and knowledgeable in a number of different fields. I must also say that loving to learn new things helped my career and my practical approach to life as well.

Because of this, I am happy to say that I have a reasonable amount of knowledge on quite a number of diverse subject areas. I am not an occult nerd, a person who knows a lot about occult subjects, but knows hardly anything else. Believe me, I have met this kind of person often in my travels and life experiences - being too specialized has some real risks even for the average person, not to mention the occultist. These days, for every book on occultism or magick that I read or study, there are at least several other books on a wide spectrum of subject matter that I also read. I try to leave no stone unturned, and I have found history, archaeology, philosophy, science and psychology as some of the many topics that I am continuing to investigate.

Another thing to consider - nobody knows everything there is to know about all pertinent topics that one might encounter in the pursuit of occult wisdom and enlightenment. There’s always room to learn something new that powerfully enriches one’s overall perspective and intellectual grasp of things. Being exposed to someone elses perspective may actually stimulate one’s own creative activities and cause one to examine a topic or area that one might not have bothered to examine without that stimulation.

I will illustrate my point by telling about some courses that I am taking through the internet as well as some workshops that I recently attended.

First of all, I attended two courses put on by Lon Milo DuQuette at the local occult book store in town (Magus Books). Lon taught several courses, but I could only attend two of them, so I chose one on Goetic Magick and the other on Enochian Magick. I must admit that I already have some knowledge of these topics, and in some cases the knowledge is extensive, but I wanted to get someone else’s opinion on the topic, and Lon is known to be an excellent instructor. He has the knack of artfully mixing humor, personal experience and occult philosophies and practices together into a narrative that is both entertaining and insightful. I only wish that I had his skill for being both hilarious and deeply insightful. If Lon comes to your town to give any of his famous lectures, I would highly recommend attending them. Even if you are an experienced occultist, or a novice, you will gain something from his discussions. I would also recommend reading his books, since all of them have something to offer, even to a supposed old hand such as myself.

So I guess you might be wondering what did I gain from Lon’s workshops? First of all, Lon’s class on Goetia was centered on him regaling us about the first time that he evoked the demon Orobas. He spent almost an hour describing in detail his calamitous ordeal of attempting (and succeeding) in this working, despite the fact that it happened more than thirty years ago. It was funny and also insightful, teaching how Lon perceives these entities called Goetic demons. At nearly the end of his talk he discussed some of his opinions about this system of magick that neatly dovetailed with my own opinions. During this class, I had an inspiration for a new ritual, so I hastily put some notes and a ritual outline while simultaneously listening to Lon’s lecture. (That ritual is now completed, and waits for me to test it, which I am looking forward to doing very soon.) The fact that Lon looks at things in a similar manner to how I view them was very interesting and powerfully corroborating for me. The class was really worth far more to me than the mere fee that it cost.

The second class focused on the basic structures of the Enochian system of magick, it’s sources and how Lon and his associates use this information to work some basic forms of Enochian magick. We even spent some time performing a demo rite where the audience chanted the Enochian letters and then the spirit names associated with the Holy Table, Sigillum Angels and the Table of Naluage. While we performed these tasks, Lon intoned the 19th Enochian Call to invoke the 30th and lowest of the Aethyrs. Once completed, we were all quite buzzed by the energy released, and many of us had some kind of visionary experience. What it did to me was compel me to re-examine all of the Enochian material that I had read and examined years ago. I guess you could say that it’s time for a refresher course for me, since another cycle of looking over and studying this material would probably help me gain new insights and practical uses of some of the material that I have not included in my current working regimen.

In addition to attending Lon’s course, I have purchased a course on “Mansions of the Moon” by Christopher Warnock. I will getting into this course very soon, since I am interested in expanding my current knowledge of this astrological topic, since it fits into what I have previously devised as a system of talismanic workings, using the 28 Enochian Seniors and Kings as well as the Olympian Spirits to define these powerful and useful entities. Using the Mansions of the Moon ties a potent temporal factor into this working, which I have found is very important to the working of practical magick.

Christopher Warnock has a number of online classes to choose from, including ones that comprehensively instruct one in practical and magickal Astrology. They are a bit pricey, but seem to be worth it. The package for a class includes one or more books, an interactive CD Rom containing the class guidelines and even a some free software. I have already installed the software that calculates the timing of the Lunar Mansions, which is pretty tough to do by hand - trust me on this, I know from personal experience. I am also planning on taking two more classes of his in the future, and these are on the 36 Decan Faces and Astrological Geomancy, which can be used as an alternative to Horary Astrology. I am also planning on taking the course on Elective Astrology at some future date. You can find his online course list here, I highly recommend them. I believe that it’s important for a ritual magician to be knowledgeable about practical astrology. You can also find his blog here, where Christopher discusses many interesting and obscure magickal astrological topics.

I have also discovered that my local community university has quite a number of courses available online. Of particular note are classes that teach one to be a more effective writer and communicator. There are at least several of these classes that I intend to take over the summer, since they are only $99 a class, which is pretty cheap. Classes are taught by experienced writers who also have the gift of teaching as well. Since I am very weak in the area of fictional writing, and because I have at least several fictional projects that I can’t even attempt to begin with the writing skills that I have, I will be taking these courses so that I can expand my writing ability to include not only nonfiction, but also fiction as well. There are a lot of other courses, too, and over time I expect to take advantage of these relatively inexpensive offerings. I would highly recommend that anyone who is serious about mastering the art of ritual magick should continue their education and expand their horizons. Be like me and leave no stone unturned in the pursuit of knowledge and experience.

So even though I have been a practicing magician for over 35 years, I don’t know everything, and of what I do know, there is much room for improvement and refinement. I may be a middle aged magician who is looking forward to geazerhood, but I am not yet ready to just rest on my laurels, as it were. There is still a lot to learn and know in this world, and my curiosity has not yet become sated. Hopefully, it never will.

Frater Barrabbas