Monday, November 30, 2009

Abramelin Lunar Ordeal - Second Weekend - Attribute of Air

I have completed the second weekend of the paired workings for the Abramelin Lunar Ordeal, this time focusing on the attributes of the element of Air. This week’s working started out with me catching a cold that lasted throughout most of the week, complicating the process, but neither delaying nor halting it. It was pretty difficult to meditate while being ill, but I made up for the lack with other acts of devotion, ensuring that I was quite focused on the working. Thanksgiving also occurred during the middle of the week. I had to maintain focusing on the working amidst celebrations and also the distractions of people preparing for the festive season of Christmas and the Solstice.

Grace and I decided to change the workings to start on Friday and Saturday instead of Saturday and Sunday, which aids her staying focused on school work. She is having to go through the last few weeks of the semester, and all of the work and preparation for final tests that that implies. Always the able acrobat, she is managing to balance her mundane commitments to training and schoolwork as well as working these ordeals by my side. I feel blessed by her presence. Her impressions of the working parallel my own, giving me an objective perspective on them that I would not otherwise have.

November 27 - Invocation of Yehoel, Seraphim of the elemental tetrad of Air. Approximate start was around 7:40 pm CST, locking in the planetary hour of Mars. The circle was consecrated, mass and a benediction were performed. Yehoel was a mind blowing entity, literally causing me to experience an internal expansion of my mind that left me rather dazed and muddled afterward. Nothing could have prepared me for what I experienced that night!

At first, after the invocation had been completed, I saw and heard nothing, even though the energy in the temple was considerable (there undoubtedly was “something” in the temple). Then I showed the sigil of Ratziel and then I saw a blurry human form take shape above me, with a deep blue colored body and a large white head (turban?) - this blurry form increased in magnitude until it revealed a giant golden-white illuminated crystal that seemed to enclose me in its light. Yehoel spoke clearly and concisely into my mind, giving me much to ponder and think about, but I also noticed that my very mind was also expanding as he communicated to me. I saw all of the flaws and imperfections in my ritual structures and verbiage, and knew what to do to perfect them to a higher refinement than they are currently. I also saw my own spiritual and magickal path and the magickal path of many others who are also working magick as I am. These are my peers,  there were quite a number of them, all brothers and sisters, all engaging the issues of working magick from different but analogous perspectives.

Yet each of us are so narrowly engaged in our pursuits that we miss the bigger picture - the whole of the discipline of magick rather than the specific practice of one individual. I realized that each of these individuals were very close spiritual kindred of mine, and that it would benefit us greatly if we could but find a way to unite and share all of our hard won knowledge with each other. Considering the egotistical nature of some if not nearly all magicians working magick, this would be a pretty tall order. However, in order to truly realize the totality of magick and its capabilities, all of these different perspectives need to be united - like the facets of a complex crystal coming together and into focus. I was seeing, for the first time, the unified perspective and discipline of all systems of ritual and ceremonial magick, and I was astonished at how profound and all-encompassing this united discipline actually was. I saw the union of science and religion under the banner of magick. Of course I am not the first to see this vision (Crowley made it a motto of the periodical the Equinox), but it still eludes us even into the beginning of the second decade of the twenty-first century. What is required is a meta-system, but that will have to wait for a group of brilliant individuals who will be able to cross barriers of ego-based ownership and personal magickal pride.

These are some of Yehoel’s words of wisdom to me.

Yehoel is concerned with the nature and revelation of what Crowley called the True Will, and what I call a person’s individual manifest destiny. Yehoel told me that the true will is discovered through the resolution of parables, riddles, paradoxes and puzzles about the nature of reality, chance (fortune), and inherent capabilities (and flaws) associated with the individual. So the true will is not something that is straightforward, it’s more of a profound personal mystery - one that requires a constant focused inquiry. However, all personal destinies are resolved at the same point - ultimate union with the godhead, whether a person realizes that truth or not. Such a state is not guaranteed, but it’s part of a person’s birthright. Every human being has this as their birthright, whether or not they manage to realize it in a single lifetime. Enlightenment and union with the godhead is always right there in front of us - the most obvious thing. Yet it would seem invisible to almost everyone. It is a simple thing to acquire, but usually requires a lifetime of experience and hardship before that step is actually known, discovered by the resolution of the mystery of the self and the true will.

How do we resolve this mystery about our destiny, besides living an entire lifetime and making good and probably bad decisions? Yehoel says that undergoing ecstatic union with the godhead, even in small phases and brief encounters, over time will reveal the greater truth and wisdom to ourselves. How do we approach ecstatic union with the deity? By complete and total surrender at the moment just before that merging occurs. In other words, we leave our egotistical notions and pride of our accomplishments at the gateway of the celestial temple, and enter therein as humble supplicants - full of devotion, love and the absolute surrender of one’s self. This would seem to go counter to most of what is discussed and written about ceremonial and ritual magick. Often such practices are accompanied with the hazards of ego inflation.

This would seem to be a very mystical approach and very unmagickal. However, the objective of the magician and the mystic are essentially the same - union with the godhead. The real difference between them is what they do once that union is obtained. The mystic renounces the world and the magician re-enters it to become the nucleus of divinely inspired change. Obtaining spiritual ecstasy through small operations and simple steps will shatter the tough hide of the ego and open the self up to a greater spiritual perspective. So the preparation is a form of god-intoxication, particularly for this ordeal that I have derived. Without the stages of god-intoxication, the ordeal will fail. Yohoel said to me, “I am the revealer and inspirer of your personal destiny! The difficult steps - discipline and their associated hardships, these will be covered by the cherubim of Air.”

The overall working gave me what seemed like a powerful brain-boost, my ability to intellectually contain all of this knowledge and to see things at the grandest and most minute levels was enhanced more than a hundred-fold. I felt like I was stoned or even kind of drunk - I couldn’t articulate or think in a focused manner even after the gateway was closed, dismissing the spirit. Even attempting to ground myself by eating some food had little effect. I had to retire very soon after the working, so potent was the experience. When I awoke the next day, the effect was still upon me, although somewhat diminished. If I focused too long on something, I felt myself completely and totally pulled into that string of thought, abrogating anything else I happened to be thinking or doing. It was a strange sensation and not particularly pleasant, either.

November 28 - Invocation of Ophaniel, Cherubim of the elemental tetrad of Air.  Approximate start was a little after 9:00 pm CST, locking in the planetary hour of the Moon. Grace performed the circle consecration and assisted with the mass. However, before the mass was even completed, she went off into a powerful trance state, apparently communing with Ophaniel before the invocation rite was even performed. This is not the first time that I have seen this kind of phenomenon, but it was certainly the most dramatic.

Once again, I sensed a great power in the temple immediately following the invocation, and once again the angelic spirit was silent and invisible until I presented the sigil of Ratziel as my bonafide. However, once that was accomplished, I saw above me an entity that was shrouded in an orange and reddish light, and the voice I heard was harsh and pointed. Ophaniel, once unleashed, proceeded to harshly judge me, pointing out all of my flaws, failings, and the various follies that I had devoted my life to and the misinformation that I had believed in. All of this was brought out, including all of the wrongs that I had done in my entire life so far, which was certainly not a pure and stellar record by any stretch of the imagination. I was greatly humbled by this powerful condemnation of me, since all of it was indeed true. I admitted as much, with the lame excuse that I am just a flawed mortal, and like all things of nature, imperfect. I did take responsibility for everything that I had done. The fact that I am learning from my mistakes and seeking to take corrective actions in order to perfect myself might give me some leeway. This admission and its associated contrition seemed to mollify Ophaniel, from that point on his demeanor was much more compassionate and charitable to me. He told me that it was always wise to admit one’s mistakes and never to shrink from taking responsibility from them, and it’s also quite humbling. This is an critical mind-state required to approach the admirable but equally foolish quest to become one with the godhead. So it would seem to be important to know one’s limitations, but to strive for spiritual union nonetheless.

I felt as though I had just encountered a powerful test, and indeed, Ophaniel indicated that my resolve and my intention had been tested all week, what with my cold and its dragging inertia which I had to overcome. He told me that I would be continually tested even more severely in weeks ahead as I attempted to complete this ordeal. If I chose to cease my activity now, he would forgive me and allow me to do so without any repercussions. I indicated that I was resolved to complete the ordeal no matter what happened, and that short of dire illness or death, I would complete it. My answer seemed to cause him to regard me in greater esteem. He told me that the requirements of the Cherubim should be followed without failure in order to be allowed to accomplish the feat of bringing all of the eight angelic spirits together in an octagram of the empowered godhead.

So far, I had been tasked with giving alms to the poor, and had only done so in a token manner. I must show greater generosity than that and in addition, Ophaniel gave me the requirement of daily devotions, to replace the meditations that I was performing twice daily.  I must spend more time giving devotions, offerings, praise to my godhead, and do so with the utmost sincerity and passionate desire for spiritual union. I should hold the sigil of Ophaniel in my right hand while I do these tasks. Faithfully executing these instructions (and the others that the next two Cherubim will require of me) will aid my cause in achieving enlightenment and union with the godhead. Failure to do these tasks will ensure that I fail in the overall working, so it is up to me to see that they are faithfully accomplished. I vowed to see them done, as I fully intend to do - starting Monday. My reason for giving me one day of rest is that I had a number of other tasks to complete on Sunday and I would be quite exhausted from the weekend of workings. This decision was sanctioned by the super-archangel.

Ophaniel then gave to me an important key to the process of magickally induced enlightenment, which is the faithful execution of devotion, love and service to the godhead. One must covet union in a single minded manner, analogous to a lover ardently and passionately seeking the object of his desires. The intensity of these devotions must become ever greater until they nearly consume one’s mind, body and soul - this must be accomplished before the Bornless One Invocation is even to be performed. There should be no distractions, interruptions or diversions - one should be completely one pointed and totally focused. This is, then, my mission and objective as far as Ophaniel is concerned. Thus, the Bornless One Invocation must be accomplished with this level of deep devotion and perfect ego-less surrender. To achieve this objective, one is required to enforce a very rigorous discipline as the basis to the entire working. Failure to do this will cause the Bornless One Invocation rite to be empty and meaningless, or at least certainly a lot less impactful than it otherwise would be. Devotion and discipline are the essence of the key, and surrender at the perfect moment of manifestation of the god within is the required method.

This is what Ophaniel imparted to me at the climax of the invocation.

You have achieved the midpoint of the working, and the beginning of the really more challenging and difficult parts of the ordeal. The seraphim will inspire you, and the cherubim will challenge you, as you have never been inspired or challenged before. The cherubim are the keepers of the gateway of the godhead and they will test and judge you as either worthy or unworthy. Fulfilling their requirements is extremely important. It must be done with an open heart and a transparent motivation - anything less will cause the ordeal to fail. You will not be able to bring all eight of these super-archangels together without incurring a kind of curse on yourself - so be warned, and prepare yourself!

When you perform your devotions to the godhead, you should kneel before your shrine, give offerings and praise to the Deity, open yourself completely to it. Give offerings of flowers, incense, sacraments (food and drink), and poetic songs and words of praise and adoration. Love the Deity with all of your heart and soul. While you do these things, hold my sigil in your hand to act as a witness to them - for it will act as a key to opening the gateway of the revelation of the godhead. Note down anything that occurs and whatever is communicated to you. This you shall do every day starting the beginning of the week until the day that you perform the invocation of the Bornless One. Also, be aware of the astrological times of the event of your workings, especially its date of expected climax. You will find great mysteries revealed in the transits and progressions revealed.

Then when the spirit of Ophaniel receded, the mind numbing sensation that had afflicted me since the invocation of the seraphim the prior day disappeared completely. My mind was clear and peacefully reposed. The rite ended just around 30 minutes before midnight.

So this is what I have experienced for these two workings and they produced quite a lot to ponder and undertake. I feel resolved to complete the ordeal, but now I am beginning to realize the degree of my commitment, the challenges that I now face and the ones that lie in the near future. This ordeal will not be accomplished without a great deal of effort and work, in fact far more than I originally anticipated.

Frater Barrabbas


  1. As in the previous week, Fr.Barrabbas and I were positioned in different parts of the room. However, I did participate more in the actual preparations for the invocation thanks to a restful Thanksgiving.

    To set intention in preparation before each working, I write an imago in my journal. This tends to speed things up for me with regards to receiving information.

    Unlike the first week, however, I began to write during the mass. Specifically the instructions that came out were changes to be made to the mass ritual itself, which is said in preparation for the Seraphim/Cherubim invocation. I typically am "hands off" when Frater Barrabbas writes a ritual. He's accustomed to his ways of doing things & I've acknowledged things as "his territory" and I've got "my territory". (Makes for a peaceful household. ha!)

    Nevertheless, the instructions I was given were pretty extreme. The first night, minimal information for improvements were given. The second night, two pages of notes/changes were received. The mass, as it has been, apparently is too "exclusionary" and "inappropriate". Fortunately, Barrabbas was given some of some of the changes also, during the saying of the mass. appears we're all on the same page.
    During the invocation of Yahoel, I was given some additional instructions about a holiday gift I need to present to someone & how it should be handled. The gift is to a person I do not know that well. I was grateful for the details!

    Then my mind went blank. A colorful sky at dusk appeared above my head -- deep blueish, purple with clouds moving underneath. The clouds were rippling as if air were blowing hard. The sky began to have an eerie presence -- like during an eclipse. Sand -- from no where -- lifted up around me and began blowing against my skin. It was soft at first and then the wind picked up. The sand, now brushing briskly, suddenly felt like someone had a metal yard rake pressed against my skin. It felt like my face, and arms were being ripped of their flesh. It was difficult to walk & I looked down and there was a skull in the sand in front of me.

    I became scared. In my mundane life, I was offered an opportunity to visit Jordan in February 2010. I figured that this whole thing was a warning about not making the trip -- so it jarred me further. As if the sand ripping my skin weren't enough... I told myself that I would not leave the country. Oddly, in my journal I wrote Palestine -- rather than where I was invited -- Jordan. I was assurred that other opportunities for travel would be plentiful in the future and that something more attractive would open up.

    After coming to peace with what had just happened, a few other things occurred -- flash images that at the moment don't have any bearing or meaning.

    Then a face appeared. It was Yohoel. Apparently having scared the bejeezus out of me in attempting to communicate how he "normally" would have, I froze. ("Hello!!! skin was being ripped off!!)

    He had eyes like a wolf and his face appeared like a tree trunk meets the Frankenstein Monster. We sat in the woods, by a campfire and chatted. It was a lovely, warm chat. He kept poking a bonfire with a stick...and ashes rose with the air...up and out of sight.

    For aid in determining "True Will" he advised to "just write". It seems that many of us are gifted with the talent of revelation of truth through words. This isn't forethought, researched stuff -- just freeflowing desire. He said: "The actions to take are not revealed -- for that is the puzzle. The gift is 'the bigger picture'. And the details do not matter if one is walking the path with eyes forward and one's body following the actions."

    The energy of this Seraphim felt like that of an old friend.


    On Saturday night, Barrabbas and I had distinctly different experiences during Ofaniel.
    During the latter part of the mass, I became paralyzed on the left side of my body. My left leg went numb. It was not asleep. I had no muscle control. My left hand, arm and shoulder were tingly and numb. I had no muscle control on the left side of my face. My face felt like I was coming off of Novacaine shots. I could only talk out of the right side of my mouth.

    By the time Ofaniel was fully invoked I had no capacity to move on my left. My right side was just fine. But it wasn't scary.

    Ofaniel said that he really did not have a lot to share with me because things were fine. Just keep doing what I've been doing. Only thing I needed to be aware of was not to pay attention to anyone who told me to just do divination during a certain moon phase. He indicated that attention to such minute detail is not necessary. Also, I need to do divination more often.

    In comparison/contrast to the instructions that Barrabbas experienced, I'd just like to share that it has always been my nature to volunteer, give food/clothing..etc. and be involved in non-profits. I found it interesting that something that was so very much in my nature was a detail that was given to him as instruction.

    Selfishly, I'm looking forward to wrangling him into some community volunteer projects in 2010.

  3. Yes, I read this and am very encouraged and inspired by your contact and subsequent quality of messages and information. It is readily apparent how incredibly valuable this working has already been for you. I imagine that all who will read your journal history of these workings will also be inspired.

    I find it of great interest that some of what Angel Yehoel conveyed to you I have also raised in various ways regarding the ego-self-centered orientation of many modern magicians. Magic is a path of Power and Power is what attracts the many. It is seductive because it is a real thing - it courses through one's energy system and makes one feel strong and in control and on top of the world - but it also feeds the ego and creates a separation from the rest of humanity and the mundane world. "I am someone "special"" because "I secretly work magic and know how to gain supernatural power." I recall now some information I had read and mailed you many years ago (written by a wise Tibetan Master expressly for the western Disciple and the incoming 7th Ray Souls who so love ritual magic). He said that the "old" ways of working magic - that of conjuring up genii and spirits, working alone in a magic circle, unconsciously motivated by power (or curiosity) - would serve little for spiritual progress, would not touch the higher purposes of the Soul, and would only increase the dangers of moving the magician toward a darkened path that is increasingly difficult to return from, incremental as that movement is and therefore unnoticed. What is missing in this scenario are motives of releasing more Love into the world, and working creatively on behalf of universal purpose. He went on to say that the NEW Magician and newer magic will be worked in groups on behalf of and for the purpose of a larger whole. Notwithstanding the value of rightly motivated individual work in a magic circle. I was struck by your account of the angel revealing to you the good that would come from sharing individual discoveries with your brethren because this then begins the kind of new magical work that the Tibetan spoke about. Like you I sense much fruit would be born for "the discipline of magic" by seeing it whole, and, I hope you don't mind me adding, the higher motives for working magick in the first place must be held foundational (examples stated above). I sense that the latter would be revealed by the Soul of the Group assembled if individual motives are pure.

    The apparitions you describe of color and form sound beautiful, and the energies present were clearly transformational. ALSO, I am so happy to know that they showed you further "refinements" in text and process. PLEASE DO let me know when those refinements are ready to be shared!!!

    {because my response is too long I have to divide it into two or more posts)
    Charis Kai Aleithea

  4. (continuing)
    I loved Angel Yehoel's wisdom for the necessity of intense devotion and love as an approach into the field of Deity/The Bornless One. This corroborates my own understanding of making progress upon the Path and making the approach to one's inner God Self. I too learned the very hard way that dryness and over- intellectualism will be the result if the scientific aspects of occultism are not balanced with and built upon the foundations of the mystic, which is to say, love and devotion (the soft line rays of love-wisdom (Ray 2) and devotion and idealism (Ray 6), and the other soft line ray of Beauty (Ray 4)). I too had created an imbalance in my approach when I stopped my devotional practices and prayers after too many years of intense intellectual focus to develop and stock my mental body. It was necessary, but the imbalance was not necessary. I actually forgot how to pray because I had become so studious and intellectual and scientific. I missed the visitations of the soft line angels who spoke kindnesses into my ears and who brought the beauty of flowers in their many forms into my life. And my outer life began to reflect this. I didn't have a sensed "joy of living" that used to accompany my energy system. I discovered that you cannot be a real occultist and make genuine progress on the Spiritual Path without the two side by side - it is the yin and yang, the feminine and masculine together, an undivided polarity, an indivisable unity - this is the suchness of the universe. The polarities simply refine their nuances and subtlety, until one reaches and touches and eventually identifies with the dimension of Monadic Unity - the Bornless One - where ALL is, contained. Progress is made by unifying lesser polarities and principles into greater and greater wholes, greater and greater Unities. Ad Infinitum. The Bornless One is the highest Unity for the Divine Human. But there are many higher non-human unities and hierarchies once the Divine Human dimension is left behind. What a grand adventure IT ALL IS.

  5. (continuing Part 3 - last insert)

    Angel Ophaniels guidance is priceless. I smile with deep gratitude for this Being who carries the sword of counsel. It seems he might belong to Lord Saturn's Lords of Karma in some way. In the way you responded, it seems that facing Ophaniel's "justice" will gain you the humility necessary to proceed into the higher spheres - without which the ego alone bars the way.

    My personal occult philosophy will say that visitations with Ophaniel will offer gains in the afterlife. Once we stand on the other side - just as you did in your "out of body" intra-dimensional travel into the angelic realm -we experience the "fires" that burn when forced to review our life. Angels stand by, watching compassionately and without judgment while the fires burn as we clearly see all of it (say those who have gone and come back to tell). We see and re-experience all the good deeds and misdeeds done. Facing an angelic "conscience" as you did while still having a bodily form on this side of the veil appears identical. It can offset "the fires that burn," if once having seen, we change and thereby gain a measure of transformation in our personal instrument (physical etheric, astral and mental vehicles). Hopefully then it becomes clear to aspiring Magicians the importance and necessity of such disciplines as daily reflection and "the nightly review" for legitimate spiritual progress. We rely upon such processes to shed the layers of unconsciousness and unawareness that cause our daily life and relational miseries, and to bring our motives (thoughts, words and actions) into the full light of day. It has been said that the True Magician is the Soul - the Higher Self. Our lower vehicles of expression (etheric, astral and mental) must stand so purified that a free rapport with the True Magician Self is made easy. Standing purifed (a life long process), sure footed upon pure motive, and when equipped with useful skills, we can suddenly find ourselves standing and working side by side with those Spiritual Elders who work and cooperate for the larger purpose - for life on earth and Earth Herself. I thank you for the inspiring thoughts that have arisen in me as a result of reading your journal sharings.
    Charis Kai Aleithea